Just a word of warning

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patsy_sg
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Just a word of warning

Post by patsy_sg » Mon, 04 Feb 2008 11:32 pm

i'm an expat but have loads of local friends and someone sent me this link... it was in the news apparently. though i've read through these forums for a while this is the first time i've been urged to post something.

what the maid has done is is totally reprehensible, abuse agaisnt a 2 mth old baby.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ot22xZqLMMI

just make sure you know what your maid is doing to your kids when she's alone with them!!!

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Post by TAJ » Mon, 04 Feb 2008 11:50 pm

Oh my goodness - I am so relieved that I don't have babies, or indeed a maid! I would worry about leaving my boys, aged 8 & 10 in the care of someone I didn't know, even though they are old enough to express themselves. How can anyone have the confidence in a complete stranger, often quite young, to care for their baby or toddler?

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Post by patsy_sg » Mon, 04 Feb 2008 11:56 pm

i've was quite taken aback myself. i've championed maids to my local friends for ever arguing that they should have one day off a week, they should get paid monthly (ie. they should actualy receive their mone and not just sign for it) but there was no way i could defend that maid!

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Post by TAJ » Tue, 05 Feb 2008 12:00 am

Sorry, but I can't see how money comes into the equation - someone is caring or they are not. I this case the maid does not have any interest in the child. The person employing the maid must have had their doubts, otherwise, why the secret cameras?

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Splatted
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Post by Splatted » Tue, 05 Feb 2008 1:42 pm

the maid should be shot, literally.

Some of the rough handling bordered on 'shaking' the baby. In Australia, babies have died due to this sort of abuse.

Do we know whether this took place in Singapore? What actually became of the maid?

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Post by jaw » Tue, 05 Feb 2008 2:22 pm

Splatted wrote:the maid should be shot, literally.

Some of the rough handling bordered on 'shaking' the baby. In Australia, babies have died due to this sort of abuse.

Do we know whether this took place in Singapore? What actually became of the maid?
it was on the news last night. The maid has been charged but out on bail I think.

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Post by ksl » Wed, 06 Feb 2008 3:00 pm

Well what does one expect, if there are no controls in place and education, to educate these maids. I think the parents are as much to blame, commonsense, tells you, that you leave your kids, with no one, that cannot be trusted....

Everyone has tolerance levels, some more than others!, Although i do not condone it, I think one needs to look at other aspects of why it happens, and not be so judgemental....it could well be the woman or girl as never ever had a child before, and I'm sure many women undertsand the frustrations of a screaming baby.....this kind of thing happens thousands of times a day around the world.

And just how many parents slap their kids around the head, when they blow their fuses....the people posting this, are just as sick, if you ask me! :mad: Lack of knowledge, education, and commonsense, yeah why not call it abuse! :roll:

Although the video served its sick purpose, I suppose! Judgement day, every day out here in Asia.

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Post by sprite » Wed, 06 Feb 2008 3:10 pm

ksl wrote:Well what does one expect, if there are no controls in place and education, to educate these maids.
Why not just substitute the word 'maids' for 'parents'? Any idiot can have a child...

You may not like the video, but if by posting it parents become aware of a potentially dangerous situation and it saves one child from being abused, then I say bravo! \:D/

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Post by ksl » Wed, 06 Feb 2008 3:44 pm

sprite wrote:
ksl wrote:Well what does one expect, if there are no controls in place and education, to educate these maids.
Why not just substitute the word 'maids' for 'parents'? Any idiot can have a child...

You may not like the video, but if by posting it parents become aware of a potentially dangerous situation and it saves one child from being abused, then I say bravo! \:D/


This maybe a valid point, however, no one here or making judgements, actually know whats been going on, within this household...I have seen many parent rough with babies and there own kids, simply becuase they have never had the experience of handling them.

If anything it's a social duty to protect children from abuse, and making the rest of the world aware of what's going on, however, to publicly distribute a video, and call it maid abuse, when it should actually be parent abuse, is my point.

Reading by all the other replies, why not just stone her to death! What sort of mentality is the OP after here?

When the sole responsibility lies with with the parents! Work and money is more important right?

Personally i don't work, because I prefer to look after my own daughter too, and my wife works.....and to talk about child abuse, maybe you should read the papers more often here in Singapore, were there was over 500 cases of child molestations in safe Singapore.

So even though the OP intention of exposing maid abuse for whatever reason, it appears to have backfired in my opinion, and it shoul be called parent abuse.

If they feel unsecure with hiring a maid, they did the right thing in filming, but I believe its a little below the belt, to start throwing it public, without considering there own involvement in the abuse.

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Post by familyof5 » Wed, 06 Feb 2008 3:53 pm

:roll:
only a bloke would have that opinion. i'm sure many people would prefer not to work, and look after their children. unfortunately they don't have the choices you do.

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Post by sprite » Wed, 06 Feb 2008 4:01 pm

Honestly ksl, I don't see the point you are trying to make either. Condemning the parents for leaving the child with a maid, just because you chose not to? Very judgmental if you ask me.

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sundaymorningstaple
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Post by sundaymorningstaple » Wed, 06 Feb 2008 4:06 pm

familyof5 wrote::roll:
only a bloke would have that opinion. i'm sure many people would prefer not to work, and look after their children. unfortunately they don't have the choices you do.
Sure they have choices. It's just that they have different value system so the choices they ultimately make are not the same. Usually, the differentiating factor is the comfort level of ones living conditions and material wants. But at the end of the day it's still choices isn't it? Also, sounds a bit genderist to me. Not siding with either camp on this one but everybody and every family has choices: from getting married to getting pregnant to a DINK household to a housefull of kids or birth control. It's all about choices.
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers

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Post by Thaiclan » Wed, 06 Feb 2008 4:24 pm

Yes the video should be published! As should any abuse/crime/attack that is caught on camera. And yes we should have forums to discuss it. At the end of the day we all know abuse goes on (1 in 6 kids are sexually abused) that means we ALL without exception know of some family close to us that is abusing their kids. Most people just turn a blind eye or don't get involved. This type of video puts child abuse back into the spotlight and into the public conversation again. Its not about maids or parents its about ADULTS and the responsibility we have towards our and ALL the children. There are plenty of parents who hire maids with a false sense of security, so maybe this will re-activate their brains again when entrusting their kids safety.
I agree with an earlier point about the use of cameras. If I am not 110% sur that my kid is safe then they simply wont be put in that situation. If you need cameras than you aren't sure and you already know the answer to "shall I leave them with her/him/they...."
A good friend (but a somewhat hedonistic one) once offered to babysit my baby daughter. My husband replied no and when our injured friend asked why, my husband replied "if you had won the lottery but couldn't get to the lottery office for 2 days would you give ME the ticket to take care of....?" The answer was a thoughtful silence, and my husband interrupted "you wouldn't risk it, I know you wouldn't. Well my daughter is worth so much more than any lottery win so now you understand my decision"
It was perfect!

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Post by ksl » Wed, 06 Feb 2008 4:39 pm

sprite wrote:Honestly ksl, I don't see the point you are trying to make either. Condemning the parents for leaving the child with a maid, just because you chose not to? Very judgmental if you ask me.
Judgemental is not part of it, it's to do with prefering to share moments, with my child today, of which I missed with my other two children, due to divorce....not about how much I need, to pay the bills, or to accumilate wealth.

Any parent can fall the victim of others, its not until, it has happend, that they regret it, most would automatically blame themselves! Not the maid!

Like I say, whoever put the camera up, was because of lack of trust, and if that's the case...they should not have left the baby.....we do not know the circumstances...and you know and i know, that no matter who the person is.....one must have trust to them, before leaving a child, and even then, there are no guarantees for safety!

Myself I am personally distrusting of people not judgemental, after all, I have seen one of my own relatives fall victim to child molestation at the age of 6, in an envirionment of lots of children playing...and no one every dreamt, it could happen...The family had there children taken off them, and was imprisoned for a very long time!

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Post by sprite » Wed, 06 Feb 2008 5:04 pm

I guess what I find confusing is that you seem to be blaming the parents. There is a big difference between blame and noting that the parents have the ultimate responsibility (which seems so redundant that it doesn't have a place in this discussion). Tell me, the daughter you are the primary caretaker for, do you ever leave her with anyone else? Do you entrust her medical care to a doctor? Does she go to school?

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