20 yr old girl looking for family/godparents

[severin]

hello

i am a 20 yr old girl from Malaysia and i am looking for a family to live with. i do not have any family or friends and i live alone.

i always wanted a family or someone to run to when things go wrong or someone to talk to. unfortunately i don't have any of it and living alone is killing me from the inside. i just want to be loved and accepted and have a place to belong. i have had a very rough life since i was young.

if you are interested in 'adopting' me then leave me a reply. its like having another child. i hope to be treated as your own and whatever you expect from your own kids, you can expect from me too <3 i can help with chores etc. hey i can look after you when you are older too.

i am not talking about legal adoption. i am obviously too old for that, i don't qualify lol. i am old enough to live with whoever i want but i want it to be a family type platonic relationship. of course i need to make sure the person is safe first.

i am looking for people over 30 doesn't matter male or female or a someone who is married. if you ever wanted a daughter, this would be suitable for you. please drop me a message and introduce yourself and we can discuss further.

i am aware that we live in different countries but i don't think distance matters (since malaysia and sg is so near) if you are really interested in having a daughter figure, we can work things out. people legally 'adopt' kids from overseas all the time and that is a lot more work. by the end of the day, it depends how serious you are about this and how far you are willing to go because i am ready to give this a shot.

i am posting in singapore because there are more expats there and lets face it this sort of relationship is more common among foreigners. locals don't really do things like this (especially if the person is from a different race) they are not as open minded. trust me i have tried looking. :/

hope to hear from you soon! thanks :)

[PNGMK]

I truly feel for you. It must be terrible to be so lonely as to be pushed to this extent.

'Adult' adoption is common in Japan btw.

Why not try going to church? Regardless of the religious factor they are often places to begin feeling at home with people and belonging to a 'family'. (Try a few different ones).

[severin]

hello thank you for your message.

yes its dangerous and kinda ridiculous to post something like this but i don't know where else to look.

i have actually tried going to churches. i will admit people are nice there but its just not the same as having a real family. also, everyone tries to make me believe in god etc. eventually i stopped going because it was too much for me to handle.

i have tried taking part in activities to meet new people. i met a lot of people but it didn't work out. i got rejected face to face which is very hurtful. its emotionally exhausting and its makes the whole situation weird. its hard to face them again haha.

so i thought it would be easier to put an advert up and let whoever interested to reply instead. of course i would like to know the person first . i would like to meet them in person and see if we get along and spend time with them etc.

but thank you for your advice! i appreciate it.

[x9200]

What is the reason, you think, you've been rejected by all these people?

[PNGMK]

Where is your biological family?

You know that part of the reason people get married is to create a new family? Have you considered that?

[severin]

1. well the people that i asked, they were not interested in having another child or maybe because i am from a different race. lets face it, 'adoption' is not for everyone haha. that is why i figured its easier to put up an advert and let people who are interested to reply, then meet them.

2. i don't live with my biological family anymore because they are abusive. that is why i am on my own. and no i don't want to get married. lol.

[Beeroclock]

sorry I can't directly help, but want to wish you all the best. Clearly you've had very tough experiences and feeling completely alone now. Here's my unsolicited advice for what it's worth, focus on accepting and loving yourself first. No matter what bad stuff has happened to you, you've had the strength to get this far so draw on that and whatever else you can to boost your self-esteem. If you do this, it will only help your objective to find the family situation you're seeking. Also please do take care per your own comment :

of course i need to make sure the person is safe first.

[x9200]

1. well the people that i asked, they were not interested in having another child or maybe because i am from a different race. lets face it, 'adoption' is not for everyone haha.

Yes, very good point. You don't expect people to be hurray enthusiastic in adopting an adult stranger (regardless the race), but you also said, you had no friends and all what you communicated so far was like you could not get along with any people you tried to know better. I am more curious what is the reason for this part.

[severin]

i don't have any friends right now because all my friends have moved on? i met them in school/college and after they have left, we don't meet anymore.

about the people that i have met in real life via sports etc. none of them were interested in taking me in. its not that we didn't get along, they just couldn't do it or didn't want to do it.

i also met people from the internet (i had a similar post on a different website and people replied. so i met them in real life)... first of all most of them were weirdos trying to take advantage of me. the normals ones that i met, sometime we get along sometimes we don't. thats not a surprise. you can't get along with everyone lol. sometimes i don't like the person or the person doesn't like me or we meet a few times and lose interest eventually.

but one thing for sure is. all of the people i met were never really interested in taking me in. they just replied and pretend they are interested. once we meet in real life they just want to be friends or say they can't do it. that is what happens when you post on the internet as a young girl. you attract all the freaks. haha

so no i have never met anyone who is serious about this. hmm...there was only one person who genuine about this and we were doing alright but as time passed we stopped talking and when i asked him whats up he said he has his own issues and he doesn't have the capacity to be my 'dad' anymore. lol. i didn't live with him though. i just saw him once in a while when we were both free.

inside, i know i will never find anyone because i have been looking for years! and it never worked out. and now i am getting 'old' so it sounds strange to people? and i don't understand why because other 20 yr olds have families and that acceptable but when a stranger of the same age is looking for a family its considered weird. but i am still alive so i might as well give it a shot.

[severin]

thanks for the advice beeroclock :)

[Beeroclock]

i don't have any friends right now because all my friends have moved on? i met them in school/college and after they have left, we don't meet anymore.

about the people that i have met in real life via sports etc. none of them were interested in taking me in. its not that we didn't get along, they just couldn't do it or didn't want to do it.

i also met people from the internet (i had a similar post on a different website and people replied. so i met them in real life)... first of all most of them were weirdos trying to take advantage of me. the normals ones that i met, sometime we get along sometimes we don't. thats not a surprise. you can't get along with everyone lol. sometimes i don't like the person or the person doesn't like me or we meet a few times and lose interest eventually.

but one thing for sure is. all of the people i met were never really interested in taking me in. they just replied and pretend they are interested. once we meet in real life they just want to be friends or say they can't do it. that is what happens when you post on the internet as a young girl. you attract all the freaks. haha

so no i have never met anyone who is serious about this. hmm...there was only one person who genuine about this and we were doing alright but as time passed we stopped talking and when i asked him whats up he said he has his own issues and he doesn't have the capacity to be my 'dad' anymore. lol. i didn't live with him though. i just saw him once in a while when we were both free.

inside, i know i will never find anyone because i have been looking for years! and it never worked out. and now i am getting 'old' so it sounds strange to people? and i don't understand why because other 20 yr olds have families and that acceptable but when a stranger of the same age is looking for a family its considered weird. but i am still alive so i might as well give it a shot.

Reading what you wrote again it strikes me you need to first accept your self and find a way to boost your self esteem. Easier said than done I know, especially if you suffered an abusive family situation. But just try if you can approach it the other way, i.e. instead of I need others to accept/love me and then I will be allright ; I accept and love myself no matter what anyone else thinks, and this self belief makes me happy, and then naturally more people will gravitate to you. I hope it makes sense and is helpful.

[ohmz52]

Take up some hobbies?

[x9200]

Severin, giving you all possible credit, I really think you should look for a help of a specialist. Have you tried that before? I mean a psychologist.

[severin]

just because something is different doesn't mean you have to be afraid of it or assume there is something wrong with me. but its typical human behavior to react negatively to change. so i am not surprised, just annoyed at how ignorant people are.

hobbies? a psychologist? LOL. i just want a family. no one will never know what it feels like unless they have been in the same situation.

i honestly didn't know this would be so hard to understand. i posted here hoping i will come across someone who is interested in what i am looking for but all i am getting are unfruitful replies which are only a waste of time. neither of us are gaining anything from it. let this post be deleted. this is going no where. goodbye.

[PNGMK]

just because something is different doesn't mean you have to be afraid of it or assume there is something wrong with me. but its typical human behavior to react negatively to change. so i am not surprised, just annoyed at how ignorant people are.

hobbies? a psychologist? LOL. i just want a family. no one will never know what it feels like unless they have been in the same situation.

i honestly didn't know this would be so hard to understand. i posted here hoping i will come across someone who is interested in what i am looking for but all i am getting are unfruitful replies which are only a waste of time. neither of us are gaining anything from it. let this post be deleted. this is going no where. goodbye.

Actually I thought most responses were kind and considerate.

Most of the men here are married guys with families who are probably not up to telling their wife they are adopting a 20 year old woman, I certainly aren't!