Disclaimer, I have nothing against foreign talents and I am never known to be xenophobic among my peers. I have been known to tell off locals or people who are against foreigners or other races. The reason why I had specifically indicated the race here is due to my personal experiences with them and it is more related to the love/ relationship rather than their work performances or contribution to my country.
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First Encounter was in May 2012. I was buying coffee at this underpass in Raffles Place (OUB Centre) and this Indian approached and strike a chit chat. He was working at ING in Republic Plaza and he wanted to be friend with him. He was from Delhi (India) and he had been in Singapore for more than 4 years. He stayed at Pasir Panjang. He walked me to my office and insisted on me saving his number in my phone and give him a missed call so that he could keep my number. I did not hear from him until a few days later when he asked me out for dinner. Initially we went to Subway at Golden Shoe Market but the selection he wanted was not available so we went to VivoCity Subway. Be known that the selection of food and venue were decided by him and he had never even asked me what I wanted to eat. I told him we could eat anything but he insisted on eating Subway and Vivocity is near his house -.-". We ordered our food and chit chatted a while. He told me about himself, saying he was single and we chatted about his education and his travels and his working experiences in other countries. It was indeed impressive and eye opening for me because he was only 28 years then. Still, I found it uneasy in his presence because he was constantly staring at me. We ended the night early because I had a meeting the next day.
Subsequently we chat now and then as both of us were busy with our work. In July 2012, I asked him if he wanted to drink as I was pretty stressed out at work. He agreed and we met at the coffee shop in Clementi. He ordered 3 bottles of beers, two for him and one for me. We chatted about his family in India and how he would be going back to India for Diwali. Truth be told, I have always been fascinated about the culture of India. Hence our conversation ran through the night. Then he brought up the topic, asking me if I was keen to get hitched with a foreigner. I told him I had no intention to get hitched. He brought up his proposal. He mentioned he had been in Singapore for awhile and wanted to apply for Permanent Resident (PR) and he wanted to increase his application to be approved by marrying a local girl. I had told him that was too unfair and preposterous. He had disagreed and said that it was a win- win situation as during the marriage, he would take care of the girl for a year and the girl could enjoy his money as he earns SGD$14000 per month. I was not impressed. I had told him that most of the girls married because of love, not of money. In addition, what would happen to the girl after a year? He answered with a stoic face that they would divorce with the terms that the girl could not get anything out of him. I was disgusted and told him to change the topic. We chatted awhile, and he was back to his staring at me and this time, his stare was on my hem line. Eventually we went back to our respective homes. Over the next few weeks, he had asked me out to Clark Quay which I had rejected him as I was busy with stuff.
Then in September 2012, we had decided to meet up for a late night drink at Holland Village. It was packed everywhere. Hence we had decided to bring the drinks to his house and we chatted at the balcony. Throughout the chilling and chatting on the balcony, both of us were at ease. I guess I had drunk a lot and we were intimate. Subsequently, he had booked a cab and told me to leave the house. I was shocked. I guess I was still in a daze over this non- chivalry that I had tried to contact his two mobile numbers over the next few days and he would not reply or answer my calls or messages. Eventually after approximately 1 week later, he told me he was busy with work. And by then, I did not want to have anything more to do with him. I did not lose my heart to him but I was disappointed over this display of realism from a foreigner who obviously just want to get laid and decided to discard the local girl after not being able to convince her to his grand plan.
P/s: The next time I happened to see him was in June 2013 at Clark Quay. He saw me in the Pump Room with my friend and as usual when he walked past, he stopped and stared at me.. He had kept walking and then I had turned my head away. When I was on the dance floor a few minutes later, I saw him walking to the dance floor and he was staring at me at the edge of the dance floor. I gave him a glare and he went away.
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Second encounter was in January 2013. I had known VV through the social chatting application Skout. Initially I did not pay much heed to him but he was indeed witty and cheesy at the same time. Gradually I had chatted with him more often and on 22 March 2013, I had asked him out for supper.
Yes, I am unable to let go of what we had, let go of the memories... I am unable to forget him. The past 9 months were indeed wondrous. I had felt his love for me consistently over this period. Over this period, He had been telling me how his wife lied to him that she was raped by the policemen in India and had to abort the baby and made him guilty that he had to marry her at a young age at 24 and only 4 years later he realized she had lied. Since then he had focused his love of his son. He said he had been torn over his son and me, and that there was no more love for his wife and it would be easier for him to make the decision if it is just between me and his wife. I understand his predicament. I really do. However my love for him has grown to the extent it was unbearable for me to see him going back to his wife every night. Because of his work in the UK Investment Bank, he had many conference calls and meetings and gradually our Meetups had reduced. It had become more unbearable.
The final call was when I realized he had lied to me and I had called his wife on 20 December 2013. He had chosen to be with his family. He told me he regretted me and he should not have cheated on his wife. And frankly speaking, even if you guys said I am in denial, how can you consistently show love and attention to a person over 9 months and after sleeping with the person if just sex is what you want? I don't think anyone will be that consistent. I do believe he loves me. However the love is not strong, as compared to his love for his son. And I do understand why his wife put him under duress, corner him and he had to swear that he will strike me off his life and focus on his family. What I do not like is that she had pretended to be understanding and said as a woman, she understood the pain I had gone through and told me to be strong and move on yet the moment she ended the call, she called him that I was hassling her. In addition, in the past I had tried to meet her by asking her to give me yoga lesson. She told me she would prefer a group session and in a condominium, not in HDB area. It is like she is so upscale and yet she only lives in the HDB area.
VV had always sang praises of Singapore and how he would like to have his son grow up here and he had applied for Permanent Resident (PR) - pending for approval, and buy private housings just as what his friends did, enjoying the perks which Singapore is giving him. He would at times tell me about the not-so-good stuff of India and that he would prefer to stay in Singapore. Of course, he would also add to that it is also because I am here. To tell the truth, there are times which I would ask myself I should keep quiet and not call his wife and just enjoy the process of loving him and him loving me, that I had acted on impulse by calling his wife because I had missed him a lot. Yet I feel that with the increasing love I have for him, it is difficult to be just contented being the third party. I want more. I had even told him before that I am willing to take care of his son. However his focus is on his son and he had even said if his wife decided to go back to India, he will follow suit just to have his son back. And yet in his last call to me, he said it is too painful for him to talk about the past.
Ever since he had made the oath, he did not answer to my emails, messages or calls. He had told his friend about me and he had pretended not to know me when I text him. Both his friend and wife had blocked me on whatsapp.
Are local girls the passports to the foreigner's getting the PR? Why are words given out so easily? Where are the sincerity and truthfulness? Although I have been interested in Indian culture and yes I am a romantic too, I am amazed over the 'roti-prata' way of them.
