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Indian Foreign Talents in Singapore

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angl68
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Indian Foreign Talents in Singapore

Postby angl68 » Sun, 29 Dec 2013 2:26 pm

Disclaimer, I have nothing against foreign talents and I am never known to be xenophobic among my peers. I have been known to tell off locals or people who are against foreigners or other races. The reason why I had specifically indicated the race here is due to my personal experiences with them and it is more related to the love/ relationship rather than their work performances or contribution to my country.
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First Encounter was in May 2012. I was buying coffee at this underpass in Raffles Place (OUB Centre) and this Indian approached and strike a chit chat. He was working at ING in Republic Plaza and he wanted to be friend with him. He was from Delhi (India) and he had been in Singapore for more than 4 years. He stayed at Pasir Panjang. He walked me to my office and insisted on me saving his number in my phone and give him a missed call so that he could keep my number. I did not hear from him until a few days later when he asked me out for dinner. Initially we went to Subway at Golden Shoe Market but the selection he wanted was not available so we went to VivoCity Subway. Be known that the selection of food and venue were decided by him and he had never even asked me what I wanted to eat. I told him we could eat anything but he insisted on eating Subway and Vivocity is near his house -.-". We ordered our food and chit chatted a while. He told me about himself, saying he was single and we chatted about his education and his travels and his working experiences in other countries. It was indeed impressive and eye opening for me because he was only 28 years then. Still, I found it uneasy in his presence because he was constantly staring at me. We ended the night early because I had a meeting the next day.

Subsequently we chat now and then as both of us were busy with our work. In July 2012, I asked him if he wanted to drink as I was pretty stressed out at work. He agreed and we met at the coffee shop in Clementi. He ordered 3 bottles of beers, two for him and one for me. We chatted about his family in India and how he would be going back to India for Diwali. Truth be told, I have always been fascinated about the culture of India. Hence our conversation ran through the night. Then he brought up the topic, asking me if I was keen to get hitched with a foreigner. I told him I had no intention to get hitched. He brought up his proposal. He mentioned he had been in Singapore for awhile and wanted to apply for Permanent Resident (PR) and he wanted to increase his application to be approved by marrying a local girl. I had told him that was too unfair and preposterous. He had disagreed and said that it was a win- win situation as during the marriage, he would take care of the girl for a year and the girl could enjoy his money as he earns SGD$14000 per month. I was not impressed. I had told him that most of the girls married because of love, not of money. In addition, what would happen to the girl after a year? He answered with a stoic face that they would divorce with the terms that the girl could not get anything out of him. I was disgusted and told him to change the topic. We chatted awhile, and he was back to his staring at me and this time, his stare was on my hem line. Eventually we went back to our respective homes. Over the next few weeks, he had asked me out to Clark Quay which I had rejected him as I was busy with stuff.

Then in September 2012, we had decided to meet up for a late night drink at Holland Village. It was packed everywhere. Hence we had decided to bring the drinks to his house and we chatted at the balcony. Throughout the chilling and chatting on the balcony, both of us were at ease. I guess I had drunk a lot and we were intimate. Subsequently, he had booked a cab and told me to leave the house. I was shocked. I guess I was still in a daze over this non- chivalry that I had tried to contact his two mobile numbers over the next few days and he would not reply or answer my calls or messages. Eventually after approximately 1 week later, he told me he was busy with work. And by then, I did not want to have anything more to do with him. I did not lose my heart to him but I was disappointed over this display of realism from a foreigner who obviously just want to get laid and decided to discard the local girl after not being able to convince her to his grand plan.

P/s: The next time I happened to see him was in June 2013 at Clark Quay. He saw me in the Pump Room with my friend and as usual when he walked past, he stopped and stared at me.. He had kept walking and then I had turned my head away. When I was on the dance floor a few minutes later, I saw him walking to the dance floor and he was staring at me at the edge of the dance floor. I gave him a glare and he went away.
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Second encounter was in January 2013. I had known VV through the social chatting application Skout. Initially I did not pay much heed to him but he was indeed witty and cheesy at the same time. Gradually I had chatted with him more often and on 22 March 2013, I had asked him out for supper.

Yes, I am unable to let go of what we had, let go of the memories... I am unable to forget him. The past 9 months were indeed wondrous. I had felt his love for me consistently over this period. Over this period, He had been telling me how his wife lied to him that she was raped by the policemen in India and had to abort the baby and made him guilty that he had to marry her at a young age at 24 and only 4 years later he realized she had lied. Since then he had focused his love of his son. He said he had been torn over his son and me, and that there was no more love for his wife and it would be easier for him to make the decision if it is just between me and his wife. I understand his predicament. I really do. However my love for him has grown to the extent it was unbearable for me to see him going back to his wife every night. Because of his work in the UK Investment Bank, he had many conference calls and meetings and gradually our Meetups had reduced. It had become more unbearable.

The final call was when I realized he had lied to me and I had called his wife on 20 December 2013. He had chosen to be with his family. He told me he regretted me and he should not have cheated on his wife. And frankly speaking, even if you guys said I am in denial, how can you consistently show love and attention to a person over 9 months and after sleeping with the person if just sex is what you want? I don't think anyone will be that consistent. I do believe he loves me. However the love is not strong, as compared to his love for his son. And I do understand why his wife put him under duress, corner him and he had to swear that he will strike me off his life and focus on his family. What I do not like is that she had pretended to be understanding and said as a woman, she understood the pain I had gone through and told me to be strong and move on yet the moment she ended the call, she called him that I was hassling her. In addition, in the past I had tried to meet her by asking her to give me yoga lesson. She told me she would prefer a group session and in a condominium, not in HDB area. It is like she is so upscale and yet she only lives in the HDB area.

VV had always sang praises of Singapore and how he would like to have his son grow up here and he had applied for Permanent Resident (PR) - pending for approval, and buy private housings just as what his friends did, enjoying the perks which Singapore is giving him. He would at times tell me about the not-so-good stuff of India and that he would prefer to stay in Singapore. Of course, he would also add to that it is also because I am here. To tell the truth, there are times which I would ask myself I should keep quiet and not call his wife and just enjoy the process of loving him and him loving me, that I had acted on impulse by calling his wife because I had missed him a lot. Yet I feel that with the increasing love I have for him, it is difficult to be just contented being the third party. I want more. I had even told him before that I am willing to take care of his son. However his focus is on his son and he had even said if his wife decided to go back to India, he will follow suit just to have his son back. And yet in his last call to me, he said it is too painful for him to talk about the past.

Ever since he had made the oath, he did not answer to my emails, messages or calls. He had told his friend about me and he had pretended not to know me when I text him. Both his friend and wife had blocked me on whatsapp.

Are local girls the passports to the foreigner's getting the PR? Why are words given out so easily? Where are the sincerity and truthfulness? Although I have been interested in Indian culture and yes I am a romantic too, I am amazed over the 'roti-prata' way of them.

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Sun, 29 Dec 2013 2:52 pm

Your race is?

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Postby PNGMK » Sun, 29 Dec 2013 3:23 pm

You were played by a player.
Sorry sweetie.
Your heart will heal in time.

(The PR thing is really just a red herring).

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Postby angl68 » Sun, 29 Dec 2013 4:59 pm

I am a Chinese.

I understand, PNGMK... It's just that the 9 months were so wondrous and consistent that it's difficult to think of it being played...

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Sun, 29 Dec 2013 5:22 pm

Yep, agree with PNGMK, you have been played big time. Local Indian girls do not trust any of them. Apologies to our Indian readers, but a fact is a fact. Not all Indians are like that, but if they are here alone, they 'think' they are single and will con any girl that they can. I've seen it happen numerous times. I feel for you as you have invested a lot of time and emotion in this. Hopefully it will not sour you on Indians or any other race, but opens your eyes to the possibilities if one is here on an EP. This same thing happens to your male Singaporeans as well as they also get conned by PRC and VN girls all the time. Lots of local Indian boys also get conned by girls from the 'peens. My nephew was one. Again, not all are like that, but a lot of them are looking for a ticket out of poverty or a place to work from better than where they came from. Caveat emptor "Buyer Beware".
:-|

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Postby angl68 » Sun, 29 Dec 2013 5:39 pm

@Sundaymorningstaple, he has been staying with his wife and son in Singapore for four years.

You see, the wife told me she had been abused since beginning of the marriage and yet shestill loves him and want to forgive him and this cheating is nothing. I don't understand how one can stand being cheated on and persisted in staying on. The guy, in his last call to me, had said it's painful for him to talk about the past. Then he ignores my messages like plague. It's so confusing..
Last edited by angl68 on Sun, 29 Dec 2013 6:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby JR8 » Sun, 29 Dec 2013 6:12 pm

*Psycho hose beast alert!*

You seem to be displaying the symptoms of a mistress who is under an illusion that she's more than a casual shag on the side.

I'm not sure what entered your head, to start trying to communicate with his wife!? Maybe you thought you could accelerate her ousting - cuckoo style - from the nest. Oh wow, *huge surprise* he no longer wants any contact with you!

And now you're publishing a blog on him!? Yes, that's SURE to win him back isn't it! :lol:

I'd suggest you be veeeeeeeeeery careful. You have potentially just poked a bloody great libellous stick into a hornets nest ... beware what the result of that might be! With the general naivety you've displayed so far, it might well come back to bite you extremely hard indeed.

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angl68 wrote:I don't understand how one can stand being cheated on and persisted in staying on. The guy, in his last call to me, had said it's painful for him to talk about the past. Then he ignores my messages like plague. It's so confusing..


And yet you were also being 'cheated on' and STILL persist to this day in trying to stay on. Not only that you've gone further and published a blog on him.... lol! You are an exemplar of being in denial, and refusing to let go.

It's not in the slightest confusing. He wanted you for casual sex, and spun the required story that would enchant you enough, that you'd give it to him.



p.s.
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angl68 wrote:
'At the prata shop, you had captivated me with your anecdotes in India. Of course, not wanting to cut the night short, we wanted to have a drink but there was not a pub in Jurong and I had wanted somewhere quiet hence I had proposed to get a room.


MMmmm classy! Pratas and beer, then the girl suggests a by-the-hour hotel on the first date. [Quality!! :lol:]

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Postby angl68 » Sun, 29 Dec 2013 6:51 pm

@JR8

The blog was created way before the ditch.

You know, in a way, I am glad that you had thrown my denial right into my face. Everyone around me tiptoed around, fearing to hurt me further.

I will pay heed to what you said.

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Postby zzm9980 » Sun, 29 Dec 2013 7:36 pm

I'm with JR. I don't really understand the point of this post. The fact the guys were Indian doesn't mean anything, and is just subconscious excuse by yourself to somehow justify or shift blame.

You are/were the xiao san. If the man was Chinese, would you have expected anything different? If anything, you would have got less empathy and more financial benefit. Maybe then you wouldn't have been quite as confused about your role in the relationship and would have understood.

It's funny because I've heard anecdotes from Chinese friends in PRC about all of the Malaysian Chinese that come to Shanghai and basically do exactly what you describe the Indian guys doing. Playing the local girls on empathy instead of financial favors to get laid.

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Postby PNGMK » Sun, 29 Dec 2013 7:39 pm

angl68 wrote:@JR8

The blog was created way before the ditch.

You know, in a way, I am glad that you had thrown my denial right into my face. Everyone around me tiptoed around, fearing to hurt me further.

I will pay heed to what you said.


If you were born in '68 you should have a bit more knowledge of men that this.... "men says they love you for sex, women give sex for love".

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Postby angl68 » Sun, 29 Dec 2013 7:55 pm

@ZZM9980, u are right. There should not be any indication of the race, since to cheat can happen to anyone. And I am as equally financial stable as him, to the extent we go Dutch on every dinners and expenses.

@PNGMK, 68 is just a number. I am born 2 decades after then. Having said this, I know I am too naive.

Guess the purpose this post is to vent the frustration, lumping all the mishaps together. I will try to pick myself up and move on. It's an eye opening experience...

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Postby JR8 » Sun, 29 Dec 2013 8:16 pm

angl68 wrote:@ZZM9980, u are right. There should not be any indication of the race, since to cheat can happen to anyone. And I am as equally financial stable as him, to the extent we go Dutch on every dinners and expenses.

@PNGMK, 68 is just a number. I am born 2 decades after then. Having said this, I know I am too naive.

Guess the purpose this post to vent the frustration, lumping all the mishaps together. I will try to pick myself up and move on. It's an eye opening experience...


Interesting you call him a cheat, when you knew he was married, but you still went ahead with starting an affair. What were you thinking, did you intend to break up his family?

You don't go to that much trouble, via your blog, simply to 'vent frustration'. You've done it for imagined revenge. You used him, and now 'you're doing a Glenn Close/Fatal Attraction' on him, and seeking to destroy him/his family.

p.s. You're in denial. It's not 'we go Dutch', rather, 'we went Dutch'.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXuCgD4cbHs
Wayne's World - Psycho Hose Beast

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Postby x9200 » Sun, 29 Dec 2013 8:40 pm

angl68 wrote:Guess the purpose this post is to vent the frustration

Your posts are all over the net (well, at least on 3 sites) and they are not anonymous both for yourself and your exes. Leaving aside whether they deserved to be crucified or not it does not look like venting but some sort of exhibitionistic, self-punishing revenge.

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Postby Beeroclock » Sun, 29 Dec 2013 10:03 pm

Subway for the first date was a key warning sign

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Postby JR8 » Sun, 29 Dec 2013 10:51 pm

Her organising to get boned in a by-the-hour (no less) joint on the 1st date was the screaming warning sign for me.


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