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Where to meet people? some experiences and questions...

Events and gatherings for the 30's Club
jktokyo
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Where to meet people? some experiences and questions...

Postby jktokyo » Tue, 03 Dec 2013 6:56 pm

I am 33, female, from Tokyo. Moved to sg about 5months ago, gosh, I can't believe it has been over 5 months!

As a new comer, I did exactly the same as everybody else, trying to meet more people and built up new social circle, which is not easy, I guess, or maybe I am not doing it right yet... lol

So far, most friends I made are actually from work, it's easy to go grab a drink after work together, some chit chat, then more drinks, then you eventually know the person more. I did meet a female friend through some event on this forum, which is pretty nice. Cos in my work env, not so many ladies, and sometimes I wanna enjoy girls' night out.

Other than that, it seems not that easy to expand circle... so the million dollars question again, where to meet people (outside of office)?

Cheers,
JK

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Postby Akimbo » Tue, 03 Dec 2013 8:32 pm

Although it's been quite some time since I mingled with the regulars in the forum...the same advice still holds true.

1.) Brunch club by Poc4hontas
2.) Quiz at The Bank by SGSlinger
3.) Friday Night Drinking Club
4.) Wednesday Night Drinking Club
5.) The Eagles (v4jr4 has been asking me to come see the seniors of the forum, like SMS, zzm, lynx and so forth...I'm still a bit shy for that...)
6.) Weekday lunches at Raffles Place

Those are from the 30's-40's club.

I myself usually hangs around 20's club, but it's gotten quite dull these days, and I'm pretty tired on making events with low interest from the members of the forums to be honest...

I can't help you much on expanding your social circle by having a girl's night out as I am a guy...
My thread...The Weekenders If you need my e-mail address, it's in the first post of the thread.

jktokyo
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Postby jktokyo » Tue, 03 Dec 2013 9:04 pm

Thanks for the advice. The events in your list, I have tried the wed night drink club, pretty good, more girls than guys, I guess wed night is girls' night, so...

I am thinking to try some weekday lunch things close by office, it might be a better idea than keep going out drinking all the time. It's easy to do night out in SG, but tbh the club scenes here are not so exciting, after a while (for me, 5 months) you got enough... lol

JK.

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Postby pisceangirl » Tue, 03 Dec 2013 10:36 pm

You could also try Meet Up. I have had better success with signing up for groups that are of interest to me as the chances of finding like minded people are higher and quality of conversation better :)

(Of course there are always exceptions to the rule- like I went to a Book Club meet up recently where some of the people who turned up had not read the book! But it was entertaining to have them around- quite fun to watch :P )

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Postby jktokyo » Tue, 03 Dec 2013 10:38 pm

hehe... that sounds like a fun experience :) thanks, I will give it a try. And I agree, it might be easier for meeting people with similar interests.

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Postby Akimbo » Wed, 04 Dec 2013 12:44 pm

pisceangirl wrote:You could also try Meet Up. I have had better success with signing up for groups that are of interest to me as the chances of finding like minded people are higher and quality of conversation better :)

(Of course there are always exceptions to the rule- like I went to a Book Club meet up recently where some of the people who turned up had not read the book! But it was entertaining to have them around- quite fun to watch :P )


It's not one of SGSlinger's books, is it? None of us mortals read those... :lol:
My thread...The Weekenders If you need my e-mail address, it's in the first post of the thread.

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Postby pisceangirl » Thu, 05 Dec 2013 12:33 pm

Akimbo wrote:
pisceangirl wrote:You could also try Meet Up. I have had better success with signing up for groups that are of interest to me as the chances of finding like minded people are higher and quality of conversation better :)

(Of course there are always exceptions to the rule- like I went to a Book Club meet up recently where some of the people who turned up had not read the book! But it was entertaining to have them around- quite fun to watch :P )


It's not one of SGSlinger's books, is it? None of us mortals read those... :lol:


Hmm Akimbo-you're saying something about me here? :twisted:[/b]

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yan3080
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Re: Where to meet people? some experiences and questions...

Postby yan3080 » Fri, 06 Dec 2013 11:09 am

jktokyo wrote:I am 33, female, from Tokyo. Moved to sg about 5months ago, gosh, I can't believe it has been over 5 months!

As a new comer, I did exactly the same as everybody else, trying to meet more people and built up new social circle, which is not easy, I guess, or maybe I am not doing it right yet... lol

So far, most friends I made are actually from work, it's easy to go grab a drink after work together, some chit chat, then more drinks, then you eventually know the person more. I did meet a female friend through some event on this forum, which is pretty nice. Cos in my work env, not so many ladies, and sometimes I wanna enjoy girls' night out.

Other than that, it seems not that easy to expand circle... so the million dollars question again, where to meet people (outside of office)?

Cheers,
JK



Go log in or sign up here , maybe you can find groups to meet up .
http://www.meetup.com/

For me i dun drink , i'm not nightlife person,
maybe i can't connect with you... :(

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Re: Where to meet people? some experiences and questions...

Postby salvatoree » Mon, 09 Dec 2013 10:30 pm

jktokyo wrote:I am 33, female, from Tokyo. Moved to sg about 5months ago, gosh, I can't believe it has been over 5 months!

As a new comer, I did exactly the same as everybody else, trying to meet more people and built up new social circle, which is not easy, I guess, or maybe I am not doing it right yet... lol

So far, most friends I made are actually from work, it's easy to go grab a drink after work together, some chit chat, then more drinks, then you eventually know the person more. I did meet a female friend through some event on this forum, which is pretty nice. Cos in my work env, not so many ladies, and sometimes I wanna enjoy girls' night out.

Other than that, it seems not that easy to expand circle... so the million dollars question again, where to meet people (outside of office)?

Cheers,
JK






Hey, maybe we could chill at some bar other than town area? It's a good way to know each other better and make new friends. Maybe you could leave your email and we can carry on from there?:)cheers,

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Postby SGslinger » Wed, 11 Dec 2013 12:28 am

Jktokyo, if I'm not mistaken, we had corresponded earlier in the past few months, over an event that I was organizing, but you couldn't make last minute because you had a sudden work commitment (I think?).

To respond to your general question: The way I see Singapore is that it is a town where people (and I'm talking expats here mainly) don't see themselves here long-term and therefore are unwilling to forge bonds that would actually require a mental/emotional investment. For this reason, most operate at a highly superficial level, seeking out others with a very similar background and generally socializing with them, as that's much easier to do. The people who get left out a lot are the ones (like me) that are the global traveler/world citizen types seek something more meaningful, more intellectual than what we come across much of the time.

It is the very same reason why I keep trying to organizing events even when responses might not be great at times. The more people I reach out, the better my chances of connecting with people that more like me... or at least I think so?

I'd say that that's the hard but recommended route: try to meet as many people as possible, then start narrowing it down to the people you want to hang out with again, and thus your social circle will form.

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JR8
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Postby JR8 » Wed, 11 Dec 2013 11:36 am

Astutely observed SGSlinger!

As I think I mentioned elsewhere, it's hard to make social bonds with people who are 'here today gone tomorrow'. I think you form bonds via having connections/similarities, rather than as a result of random chance. You also desire to have any such resulting friendship last long enough that the initial personal investment ('Getting to know you') hopefully makes the effort worthwhile. I think this tendency increases as one gets older.

But to improve your chances try and connect with people who share your own interests, whether it be soccer, SCUBA diving, golf, films and books, or cookery. Shared activities tend to draw people together (consider: 'corporate activity-days', intended precisely to increase employee bonding).

Another facet IMHO, is that at say a bar, club, or pub, someone will be sub-consciously projecting an image of themselves, that might not necessarily be accurate. For example the rich banker will be acting as one might expect such a person to, ditto the humble girl who happens to have model looks: But on the back of a pony, or on foot, one hours trek into the jungle, or on a dive 20M under the sea, you tend to see peoples' truer colours (maybe it's about taking people out of their cosy social/status micro-environments?).

I've experienced this first hand (several times), where I've been enjoying such activities within a group setting, and after a long day, or sometimes weekend, everyone pulls up a chair and shares some beer/soda for some post-activity RnR and a chat. And that's when you tend to get to hear more about people and who they are, and what they do. And suddenly, and only then, you find the dive-buddy you've been with is a '''million $ trader''' or what ever.

It's almost like the activity becomes a social leveller, that strips away the need to display and project ego, and it also replaces 'status back on home-turf', with status derived solely from ability at the activity at hand. I.e. If you're a twat-diver, it doesn't matter whether you're a bin-man or a billionaire, you're still the same twat diver.

Ho hum :)

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Postby pisceangirl » Wed, 11 Dec 2013 2:04 pm

JR8 wrote:
Another facet IMHO, is that at say a bar, club, or pub, someone will be sub-consciously projecting an image of themselves, that might not necessarily be accurate. For example the rich banker will be acting as one might expect such a person to, ditto the humble girl who happens to have model looks: But on the back of a pony, or on foot, one hours trek into the jungle, or on a dive 20M under the sea, you tend to see peoples' truer colours (maybe it's about taking people out of their cosy social/status micro-environments?).

It's almost like the activity becomes a social leveller, that strips away the need to display and project ego,


Couldn't agree more JR8. The desire to project a certain image is widely prevalent and in that environment there's tons of people trying to look appealing and ending up looking appalling without realizing it. Conversation tends to be superficial too (in my experience). I have had much better luck with activity based meet ups.

Edited: to remove incorrectly used phrase

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yan3080
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Postby yan3080 » Fri, 13 Dec 2013 10:27 am

Welcome to Singapore .
Due to work i mostly free on Monday and Thursday .
Meet up to for a drink , go events ,watch movies / shows ,
attractions places ....

Nightclubs/pubs , nightlife not for me !!

Smile


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