Same sex relationship

[JFK]

I am looking at being placed in a senior role in Singapore. Here is my question, I am in a same sex (male) relationship for 16 years and legally married for 1 year. We have a child (girl) which we legally adopted in our country of residence. How would I go about getting my child and partner with me in Singapore? Understand SS view on SS relationships and respect this fully. Just looking for legal way to get there as a family.

[nakatago]

We've had a same sex couple here that have successfully gotten visas, allegedly their company's legal dept lent a hand. Unfortunately, they didn't, either unintentionally or instructed to NOT check back with us.

That said, the things you got going for you are: you're being placed into a senior role and that you've been legally married and an adoptive father. We're not saying you will get visas for them but with Singapore's anecdotally cited penchant for pragmatism, there's a glimmer of hope. Not much though but it's there.

You can search for similar threads already posted here (use "same sex", "gay couple" for example as keywords). Admittedly, it's not a very clear topic that we've discussed--we don't have much solid info to work with in the first place. It would be best for you to read first hand and draw your own conclusions from there.

[JR8]

Ditto Nakatago's post, the question has been discussed several times before, though as I recall not for some months now, and I don't recall anyone reverting with a 'This is how it went...' follow-up.

It would be best for you to read first hand and draw your own conclusions from there.

And then maybe you'll be the one to come back and let us know how you went about arranging it, for the benefit of those that follow ...



NB. together with the links within the discussion .... http://forum.singaporeexpats.com/ftopic88719.html

[Strong Eagle]

...and I don't recall anyone reverting...

Revert? -5.

re·vert (r-vûrt)
intr.v. re·vert·ed, re·vert·ing, re·verts
1. To return to a former condition, practice, subject, or belief.
2. Law To return to the former owner or to the former owner's heirs. Used of money or property.
3. Genetics To undergo reversion.

[JR8]

...and I don't recall anyone reverting...

Revert? -5.

re·vert (r-vûrt)
intr.v. re·vert·ed, re·vert·ing, re·verts
1. To return to a former condition, practice, subject, or belief.
2. Law To return to the former owner or to the former owner's heirs. Used of money or property.
3. Genetics To undergo reversion.

Yes I wondered if anyone would pick up on that, as I appreciate it's common misuse (that said, isn't this how word's meanings evolve over time, almost like a process of mutation?).

It was a very common (macho/Wall Street/lots of 'consultant-jargon') term when I worked in banking, and it simply meant 'reply to someone'.

[x9200]

You should have said "revert back" to stay in line with the local dialect.

[JR8]

You should have said "revert back" to stay in line with the local dialect.

Speaking local dialect? Even the gahmen campaigns against that.

[expats]

My understanding is that your best bet may be to have your company petition for an exception on your behalf. Without a child, your partner could probably find work here (SG has very low unemployment, it seems like foreigners willing to accept local compensation packages are competitive). If your daughter were legally tied only to you, you might be able to secure a dependent pass for her as if you were a single parent. But assuming you have only a joint adoption decree and that Singapore would require the involvement/consent of both parents before granting a child a visa, then your paperwork limits your ability to work around the system. Does anyone have a sense of how the SG authorities would look on an adoption decree with two men as parents? Is it an option to accept the position contingent up on visa approval for your family?

I have heard about foreign children being eligible for student visas even at the preschool level and that a child enrolled in certain MOE-approved programs can sponsor a parent's visa. Apparently this is sometimes done by wealthy folks in the region who want their kids brought up in an English-speaking school system. Again, no idea whether a kid could get enrolled and approved with two dads...

When my partner and I asked around about visa options for same-sex couples, we heard rumors of SG making exceptions for senior leadership at MNCs that the country wanted to court. But the knowledgable people we met with informally were reluctant to suggest we try the same thing (my partner is senior but still several steps away from the C-suite). They did all agree that legal marriage would help our case.

One of the challenges we encountered was that Singapore doesn't really have immigration lawyers as many other countries do, so we couldn't locate a specialist on the topic, despite having a handful of local friends and allies.

The other issue to consider, of course, is being a two-dad family in Singapore. Depending on your daughter's age and school options, it could be less than ideal for her. I only know one same-sex couple in SG with kids, but they're quite jaded. On the other hand, if your kid can be insulated in a friendly International School (which would that be?), it might be okay and the experience of living abroad would certainly be valuable for her (assuming you're not already expats).

Good luck!

[JFK]

So after trying all avenues still no luck

[PNGMK]

So after trying all avenues still no luck

Really? Thanks for the update. Clash of reality of west vs east.

[movingtospore]

I'm sorry to hear that. No options for dependent passes etc?