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A good joke

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JR8
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A good joke

Postby JR8 » Wed, 23 Oct 2013 10:33 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvHOXiP9 ... ture=share
'Clement Freud delivers a joke perfectly.'

p.s. RIP Clement Freud ... what a gem he was.

Image[/img]

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Postby JR8 » Thu, 24 Oct 2013 7:00 pm

'Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu.

The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.

However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.

The Ornithological Behaviourist very quickly concluded the cause: when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck."

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Postby Strong Eagle » Thu, 24 Oct 2013 11:14 pm

Heh heh - stolen and reposted.

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Postby ecureilx » Sat, 26 Oct 2013 9:57 am

JR8 wrote:'Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu.

The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.

However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.

The Ornithological Behaviourist very quickly concluded the cause: when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck."


:evil:

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Postby JR8 » Thu, 29 May 2014 9:31 am

Angela Merkel arrived today at Passport Control in Athens airport.
"Nationality?" asked the immigration officer.
"German," she replied.
"Occupation?"
"No, just here for a few days."

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Postby JR8 » Wed, 04 Jun 2014 10:01 am

A married man should forget his mistakes as there is no point in two people remembering them.

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Postby JR8 » Wed, 04 Jun 2014 11:03 am

Modern day Singaporean conjugation:

The Chinaman passed the bar.
The Indian was at the bar.
The Malay was behind bars.

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Postby JR8 » Thu, 05 Jun 2014 8:30 am

Image

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Postby mironet » Thu, 05 Jun 2014 10:53 pm

Angela Merkel's is great, I steal it!

nerd joke:

There are only 10 kinds of people in the world:
The ones who understand binary numbers and the ones who don't


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