Singapore Expats Forum

Matters of the Heart

Discuss about the latest news & interesting topics, real life experience or other out of topic discussions with locals & expatriates in Singapore.

Lover

Matters of the Heart

Postby Lover » Mon, 03 Jan 2005 6:54 pm

Ive been coming across many postings here that talk about love or the lack thereof and all the various pursuits of it. I thought it would be a good idea here to start a piece that tries to put some of the many different strands of thought that people here have of the topic and see if we can come out with some common expression of what it means...if that is possible or as near possible to it that one can get. So here goes with the introductory salvo.... IS LOVE POSSIBLE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN

User avatar
WRX_78
Newbie
Newbie
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue, 02 Nov 2004

Re: Matters of the Heart

Postby WRX_78 » Wed, 05 Jan 2005 11:14 am

Lover wrote:Ive been coming across many postings here that talk about love or the lack thereof and all the various pursuits of it. I thought it would be a good idea here to start a piece that tries to put some of the many different strands of thought that people here have of the topic and see if we can come out with some common expression of what it means...if that is possible or as near possible to it that one can get. So here goes with the introductory salvo.... IS LOVE POSSIBLE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN


Well.. I think LOVE is possible between anyone. My guy is a married man. We both love each other alot although we know that we won't have any ending together. I'm not saying that what we are doing is right cos I know many ppl out there disapproves of what we are doing. But I still feel that there are no definite right or wrong when it comes to love. As long as we are true to each other, it doesn't matter who that person is.

Guest

Re: Matters of the Heart

Postby Guest » Thu, 06 Jan 2005 3:00 pm

WRX_78 wrote:
Lover wrote:Ive been coming across many postings here that talk about love or the lack thereof and all the various pursuits of it. I thought it would be a good idea here to start a piece that tries to put some of the many different strands of thought that people here have of the topic and see if we can come out with some common expression of what it means...if that is possible or as near possible to it that one can get. So here goes with the introductory salvo.... IS LOVE POSSIBLE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN


Well.. I think LOVE is possible between anyone. My guy is a married man. We both love each other alot although we know that we won't have any ending together. I'm not saying that what we are doing is right cos I know many ppl out there disapproves of what we are doing. But I still feel that there are no definite right or wrong when it comes to love. As long as we are true to each other, it doesn't matter who that person is.


LOVE is a figment of the imagination full stop!!! Butterfly in the Tummy is a signal of attraction not love.

Like the senses eyes, nose, hearing, touch, all play their own role in attraction, most people will receive these signals and automatically translate them to the word love, but what is LOVE.

Think about it! after these feelings have been translated to the senses and the novelty wears off, people take eachother for granted, end up arguing and finally parting.

Looking back one will say well i did love him!! Which is pure and utter bullshit! they were attracted to them, and eventually the senses got through to the brain, to inform the individual.

Take a look at this quote"But I still feel that there are no definite right or wrong when it comes to love. As long as we are true to each other, "

This individual is beeing banged, screwed, f--k--d and god knows what else, by a married man, then he goes back home to his wife! and she states As long as we are true to each other! So you don't mind that he goes back home and bangs his wife, of course not, but you would mind if he was banging someone else besides you and his wife?

God forbid she actually believes it is love. not that she enjoys his company just like any other male friend, that was banging her! This time it's got to be love! utter blind bullshit! I would say you are attracted to him and your feelings tell you that you love him.

There is no such thing as LOVE only commitment!!! and commitments are made in many ways.

Why do you think the church say's, will you promise to love your husband in sickness and health? what they are actually refering to is a commitment.

Eyes tell you, you are attracted, nose tells you I like his smell, ears tell you i love his voice, and when you touch him, you like his skin.

But really are you attracted to his sweat!!! now that is very important, message, if the woman finds any smell repulsive, then the match is a waste of time.

when all said and done, the tummy butterfly will fly away, and you are left with the thoughts of do i really love this jerk, that used to be a nice.

I mean really I love all my friends, until something shitty happens, like they steal from me.

I loved many women in my life too, but something told them, they didn't love me enough to stay around, 3 to 5 years is the normality, But yet, even today they say they did love me, but they all moved on for financial gain. So what is love???

I myself try not to believe in Love, but i do have feelings that tell me different, I would be very upset to lose my present wife and child, but it could happen, the first 3 years have been good to us, but i now feel that the attention is focussed not on us two, but on financial matters.

So really what life for women is all about is security and financial stability, and they will do anything to achieve that gaol!

believe me from the time of evolution woman as not changed, she will always leave the person she thought she loved, for more financial gain or stability, it is a family survival instinct, and feelings don't get in the way!

What matters is how do women, secure life for their youngsters, their family tree

User avatar
WRX_78
Newbie
Newbie
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue, 02 Nov 2004

Re: Matters of the Heart

Postby WRX_78 » Thu, 06 Jan 2005 4:30 pm

Anonymous wrote:
WRX_78 wrote:
Lover wrote:Ive been coming across many postings here that talk about love or the lack thereof and all the various pursuits of it. I thought it would be a good idea here to start a piece that tries to put some of the many different strands of thought that people here have of the topic and see if we can come out with some common expression of what it means...if that is possible or as near possible to it that one can get. So here goes with the introductory salvo.... IS LOVE POSSIBLE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN


Well.. I think LOVE is possible between anyone. My guy is a married man. We both love each other alot although we know that we won't have any ending together. I'm not saying that what we are doing is right cos I know many ppl out there disapproves of what we are doing. But I still feel that there are no definite right or wrong when it comes to love. As long as we are true to each other, it doesn't matter who that person is.


LOVE is a figment of the imagination full stop!!! Butterfly in the Tummy is a signal of attraction not love.

Like the senses eyes, nose, hearing, touch, all play their own role in attraction, most people will receive these signals and automatically translate them to the word love, but what is LOVE.

Think about it! after these feelings have been translated to the senses and the novelty wears off, people take eachother for granted, end up arguing and finally parting.

Looking back one will say well i did love him!! Which is pure and utter bullshit! they were attracted to them, and eventually the senses got through to the brain, to inform the individual.

Take a look at this quote"But I still feel that there are no definite right or wrong when it comes to love. As long as we are true to each other, "

This individual is beeing banged, screwed, f--k--d and god knows what else, by a married man, then he goes back home to his wife! and she states As long as we are true to each other! So you don't mind that he goes back home and bangs his wife, of course not, but you would mind if he was banging someone else besides you and his wife?

God forbid she actually believes it is love. not that she enjoys his company just like any other male friend, that was banging her! This time it's got to be love! utter blind bullshit! I would say you are attracted to him and your feelings tell you that you love him.

There is no such thing as LOVE only commitment!!! and commitments are made in many ways.

Why do you think the church say's, will you promise to love your husband in sickness and health? what they are actually refering to is a commitment.

Eyes tell you, you are attracted, nose tells you I like his smell, ears tell you i love his voice, and when you touch him, you like his skin.

But really are you attracted to his sweat!!! now that is very important, message, if the woman finds any smell repulsive, then the match is a waste of time.

when all said and done, the tummy butterfly will fly away, and you are left with the thoughts of do i really love this jerk, that used to be a nice.

I mean really I love all my friends, until something shitty happens, like they steal from me.

I loved many women in my life too, but something told them, they didn't love me enough to stay around, 3 to 5 years is the normality, But yet, even today they say they did love me, but they all moved on for financial gain. So what is love???

I myself try not to believe in Love, but i do have feelings that tell me different, I would be very upset to lose my present wife and child, but it could happen, the first 3 years have been good to us, but i now feel that the attention is focussed not on us two, but on financial matters.

So really what life for women is all about is security and financial stability, and they will do anything to achieve that gaol!

believe me from the time of evolution woman as not changed, she will always leave the person she thought she loved, for more financial gain or stability, it is a family survival instinct, and feelings don't get in the way!

What matters is how do women, secure life for their youngsters, their family tree


Hi Guest..

You seem to have gone thru alot to have wrote this long passage. Well, everyone have their diff views when it comes to love & relationship. Fate brought me & him together. Although it came too late cos he's married by then, but I still treasure him alot & the times we spent together. We dont know what will happen the next moment. So just treasure whatever we have now.

Guest

Postby Guest » Fri, 07 Jan 2005 3:23 am

Hi Guest..

You seem to have gone thru alot to have wrote this long passage. Well, everyone have their diff views when it comes to love & relationship. Fate brought me & him together. Although it came too late cos he's married by then, but I still treasure him alot & the times we spent together. We dont know what will happen the next moment. So just treasure whatever we have now.

Well to be honest, i really do have quite a bit of experience, with relationships and yes it was a very costly affair, emotionally and financially, but that is really besides the point.

the point is to love yourself, and care for others. I hear many people say also about friendships, how they love and care for their friends, but lets be honest, friends fall out, the next minute they are talking about each other behind each others backs, like spoiled brats.

Love is all the emotions you put into a relationship, and all those emotions are going to damn well hurt you, when you realise, that your lover is banging you, behind his wifes back. Which makes him a very sleezy scum bag, that will also do it behind your back!

I mean really, I'm male and actually fancied this married woman of 23 years many years ago,

We spent many nights together, I was drooling to get her in bed, driven by sexual desire, but I had the balls, to reject her, every time she tried to kiss me.

It wasn't until i found out that her husband was screwing around all over town, that i eventually gave in to her demands, she says she fell in love with me, But for me it was plain sexual desire! I said to her, how can i fall in love with you, when you sleep with me behind your husbands back. what you do to him, you will do to me!

She eventually admitted to her own sexual needs, and said I can f---- with who i want to, i said of course you can! so keep away from me for your husbands sake. really to want to own someone through love, is so selfish in my eyes,

I hate to feel the symptoms of jealousy and therfore condition myself to minimise the damage in my relationship, and lets face it, I can certainly live without a woman, even though i enjoy sex.

emotional saitisfaction and sexual satisfaction go hand in hand, check out Maslows pyramid and discover your basic needs in life, then tell me it's love. I'm not saying the person doesn't care, of course she is having a good time and enjoys his company, but who is to say living under the same roof day in and day out will not change the sunshine in her life.

Death is the most stressful factor in life, second is divorce or relationship breakup. Not of love but the loss of a posesion, an asset, more commonly known as financial asset and stability. Now maybe if she says, I love his money, or what he spends on me, then I will believe!!!!

But emotional love is a very rare and an uncommon site, these days! arranged marriages are much more successful, providing both partners agree, feelings then develop over time and are real! none of this butterfly crap in the tummy love can last more than a couple of years. Mind you that is my opinion!

Infantile

Postby Infantile » Fri, 07 Jan 2005 8:22 am

Anonymous wrote:Hi Guest..

You seem to have gone thru alot to have wrote this long passage. Well, everyone have their diff views when it comes to love & relationship. Fate brought me & him together. Although it came too late cos he's married by then, but I still treasure him alot & the times we spent together. We dont know what will happen the next moment. So just treasure whatever we have now.

Well to be honest, i really do have quite a bit of experience, with relationships and yes it was a very costly affair, emotionally and financially, but that is really besides the point.

the point is to love yourself, and care for others. I hear many people say also about friendships, how they love and care for their friends, but lets be honest, friends fall out, the next minute they are talking about each other behind each others backs, like spoiled brats.

Love is all the emotions you put into a relationship, and all those emotions are going to damn well hurt you, when you realise, that your lover is banging you, behind his wifes back. Which makes him a very sleezy scum bag, that will also do it behind your back!

I mean really, I'm male and actually fancied this married woman of 23 years many years ago,

We spent many nights together, I was drooling to get her in bed, driven by sexual desire, but I had the balls, to reject her, every time she tried to kiss me.

It wasn't until i found out that her husband was screwing around all over town, that i eventually gave in to her demands, she says she fell in love with me, But for me it was plain sexual desire! I said to her, how can i fall in love with you, when you sleep with me behind your husbands back. what you do to him, you will do to me!

She eventually admitted to her own sexual needs, and said I can f---- with who i want to, i said of course you can! so keep away from me for your husbands sake. really to want to own someone through love, is so selfish in my eyes,

I hate to feel the symptoms of jealousy and therfore condition myself to minimise the damage in my relationship, and lets face it, I can certainly live without a woman, even though i enjoy sex.

emotional saitisfaction and sexual satisfaction go hand in hand, check out Maslows pyramid and discover your basic needs in life, then tell me it's love. I'm not saying the person doesn't care, of course she is having a good time and enjoys his company, but who is to say living under the same roof day in and day out will not change the sunshine in her life.

Death is the most stressful factor in life, second is divorce or relationship breakup. Not of love but the loss of a posesion, an asset, more commonly known as financial asset and stability. Now maybe if she says, I love his money, or what he spends on me, then I will believe!!!!

But emotional love is a very rare and an uncommon site, these days! arranged marriages are much more successful, providing both partners agree, feelings then develop over time and are real! none of this butterfly crap in the tummy love can last more than a couple of years. Mind you that is my opinion!


Well, youve said quite abit here, but i think you are mixing this thing called love up with pure emotions which as you said it are volatile
Love is more than emotions and certainly more than sex. It is the identification of one with anothers aspirations, problems and other things deemed important by either partner. Its the giving of self to another and not just the body.The body is one of many expressions of that love. SOmetimes its just the look..but always its the thought..its the summation of all our thoughts..its the resting place of the heart. True it may be rare...but it is more common than you make it out to be

User avatar
WRX_78
Newbie
Newbie
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue, 02 Nov 2004

Postby WRX_78 » Fri, 07 Jan 2005 9:41 am

Infantile wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hi Guest..

You seem to have gone thru alot to have wrote this long passage. Well, everyone have their diff views when it comes to love & relationship. Fate brought me & him together. Although it came too late cos he's married by then, but I still treasure him alot & the times we spent together. We dont know what will happen the next moment. So just treasure whatever we have now.

Well to be honest, i really do have quite a bit of experience, with relationships and yes it was a very costly affair, emotionally and financially, but that is really besides the point.

the point is to love yourself, and care for others. I hear many people say also about friendships, how they love and care for their friends, but lets be honest, friends fall out, the next minute they are talking about each other behind each others backs, like spoiled brats.

Love is all the emotions you put into a relationship, and all those emotions are going to damn well hurt you, when you realise, that your lover is banging you, behind his wifes back. Which makes him a very sleezy scum bag, that will also do it behind your back!

I mean really, I'm male and actually fancied this married woman of 23 years many years ago,

We spent many nights together, I was drooling to get her in bed, driven by sexual desire, but I had the balls, to reject her, every time she tried to kiss me.

It wasn't until i found out that her husband was screwing around all over town, that i eventually gave in to her demands, she says she fell in love with me, But for me it was plain sexual desire! I said to her, how can i fall in love with you, when you sleep with me behind your husbands back. what you do to him, you will do to me!

She eventually admitted to her own sexual needs, and said I can f---- with who i want to, i said of course you can! so keep away from me for your husbands sake. really to want to own someone through love, is so selfish in my eyes,

I hate to feel the symptoms of jealousy and therfore condition myself to minimise the damage in my relationship, and lets face it, I can certainly live without a woman, even though i enjoy sex.

emotional saitisfaction and sexual satisfaction go hand in hand, check out Maslows pyramid and discover your basic needs in life, then tell me it's love. I'm not saying the person doesn't care, of course she is having a good time and enjoys his company, but who is to say living under the same roof day in and day out will not change the sunshine in her life.

Death is the most stressful factor in life, second is divorce or relationship breakup. Not of love but the loss of a posesion, an asset, more commonly known as financial asset and stability. Now maybe if she says, I love his money, or what he spends on me, then I will believe!!!!

But emotional love is a very rare and an uncommon site, these days! arranged marriages are much more successful, providing both partners agree, feelings then develop over time and are real! none of this butterfly crap in the tummy love can last more than a couple of years. Mind you that is my opinion!


Well, youve said quite abit here, but i think you are mixing this thing called love up with pure emotions which as you said it are volatile
Love is more than emotions and certainly more than sex. It is the identification of one with anothers aspirations, problems and other things deemed important by either partner. Its the giving of self to another and not just the body.The body is one of many expressions of that love. SOmetimes its just the look..but always its the thought..its the summation of all our thoughts..its the resting place of the heart. True it may be rare...but it is more common than you make it out to be



I fully agree.. Guest, pls dont be too extreme in yr thoughts. Even though you might have been thru alot & may have been seriously hurt by past relationships, that doesn't mean that love doesn't exist in this world anymore. As i've said, we wont know what will happen the next moment. So just live life happily & in the way you want. Enjoy every moment to the fullest. : )


  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to “General Discussions”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests