Thai married to SG Man, I want the custody of my child

[Thai Wife]

Hi,

I am married to a SG man as i was pregnant. Now that i know that my husband married me only because he wants the kid. How can i get a divorce and yet get the custody of my child? I have no job in Singapore and his assets do not have my name in it.

1) I know that SG law covers woman but do they cover foreign wife too?
2) Can I still have the custody of my child and go back to thailand?
3) Will I be able to ask for partial of his asset to me so that i can take care of my child?

I am really scared to loss my child.. anybody familiar with the law that can help?

With regards,
Worrying Mum

[katbh]

Unfortunately, you are not in a strong position as courts will look at who can support the child. Also, they will not want to make orders that will mean that the father can not see the child.
I think you should really go and see a Lawyer. Ask your embassy if they have anyone who can help you.

[sundaymorningstaple]

Additionally, unless the child has dual citizenship (both Singapore and Thailand) that may well pose an additional problem.

Is the child male or female?

[sundaymorningstaple]

Additionally, unless the child has dual citizenship (both Singapore and Thailand) that may well pose an additional problem.

[zzm9980]

Additionally, unless the child has dual citizenship (both Singapore and Thailand) that may well pose an additional problem.

Worrying Mum,

To elaborate on what SMS said, if the child is Singaporean and a boy he must serve NS. If you take him back to Thailand and intend for him to not do this, you must be sure you properly perform all of the processes to get out of this, and renounce his Singaporean citizenship. If you don't, he is liable to be arrested if he ever comes to Singapore again. There are a lot of topics covering this in the 'Strictly speaking" forum.

[PNGMK]

Hi,

I am married to a SG man as i was pregnant. Now that i know that my husband married me only because he wants the kid. How can i get a divorce and yet get the custody of my child? I have no job in Singapore and his assets do not have my name in it.

1) I know that SG law covers woman but do they cover foreign wife too?
2) Can I still have the custody of my child and go back to thailand?
3) Will I be able to ask for partial of his asset to me so that i can take care of my child?

I am really scared to loss my child.. anybody familiar with the law that can help?

With regards,
Worrying Mum

You're well protect in Singapore under the women's charter. I would encourage you to seek legal advice. I know a lawyer who can help if you decide to pursue divorce in Singapore; however -

In Singapore the courts are now beginning to favour joint custody - this maybe a problem.

If you really want to be free I would suggest you flee to Thailand and hide. There is no other easy answer unless you're very rich and can spend years in courts.

[zzm9980]

If you really want to be free I would suggest you flee to Thailand and hide. There is no other easy answer unless you're very rich and can spend years in courts.

I wasn't going to suggest this, but it was my honest first thought as well. My second thought was "what did the husband do that's so bad?" Is he beating or abusing you? Or did he just say he only married you because you were pregnant?

[x9200]

I am married to a SG man as i was pregnant. Now that i know that my husband married me only because he wants the kid.

If this was the only reason I bet he would have found zillions of local incubators to fertilize not bearing the risk inherited to any foreigner wife (fleeing out SG).

[Thai Wife]

Thank you so much... i need time to think and get legal advise i guess...
he did not abuse me but he is planning alot to keep my child away from me. i am scared... i can do with no money but not my child.

[x9200]

Yeah, fleeing is not good. You will not get your hands on his assets. Big dilemma indeed.

[BedokAmerican]

I'm no legal expert, but here's my take:

Although he might not have physically abused you, he's definitely mentally abusing you.

If you haven't had the baby yet, get yourself and as many belongings as possible in your suitcase and fly to Thailand and have the baby there. It might be easier to buy a round trip ticket and not take the return flight to Singapore if the airline is going to hassle you about going 1-way.

If you've already had the baby, just flee and make NO CONTACT with him. Forget about collecting money or assets from a divorce. This guy sounds like trouble.

I'm serious about the "no contact" matter. I ran away from a manipulative live-in boyfriend many years ago (although no baby was involved) and had to move to another city. It was the best thing I ever did. Any contact from you will be seen as a good thing. Don't tell him you're going. When he comes home from work one day, you'll just be gone! Give him no warning. He'll send texts/SMS, letters, try to call, even make a trip to find you and beg that he'll change (he won't change). Ignore them all. He'll promise therapy and counseling sessions to make things work. Don't listen to him because he's lying. If he knows where your parents live in Thailand or if addresses are easily locatable by last name, stay with another relative so he can't find you. He'll eventually give up and find someone else to control.

It's not worth trying to fight your way through the Sg court system and risk losing your child.

[PNGMK]

I'm no legal expert, but here's my take:

Although he might not have physically abused you, he's definitely mentally abusing you.

If you haven't had the baby yet, get yourself and as many belongings as possible in your suitcase and fly to Thailand and have the baby there. It might be easier to buy a round trip ticket and not take the return flight to Singapore if the airline is going to hassle you about going 1-way.

If you've already had the baby, just flee and make NO CONTACT with him. Forget about collecting money or assets from a divorce. This guy sounds like trouble.

I'm serious about the "no contact" matter. I ran away from a manipulative live-in boyfriend many years ago (although no baby was involved) and had to move to another city. It was the best thing I ever did. Any contact from you will be seen as a good thing. Don't tell him you're going. When he comes home from work one day, you'll just be gone! Give him no warning. He'll send texts/SMS, letters, try to call, even make a trip to find you and beg that he'll change (he won't change). Ignore them all. He'll promise therapy and counseling sessions to make things work. Don't listen to him because he's lying. If he knows where your parents live in Thailand or if addresses are easily locatable by last name, stay with another relative so he can't find you. He'll eventually give up and find someone else to control.

It's not worth trying to fight your way through the Sg court system and risk losing your child.

+1 but she won't do it....codependency stinks.