Interview goof up!

[Wd40]

This is not a joke. It really happened to me.

Yesterday night I had telephonic interview which was the final round for a position at AVP level in an investment bank.

The interviewer was a director level, really sound super genius. He was calling from NY. It was the worst ever interview performance for me and and he made feel miserable for those 1/2 an hour that it lasted.

He asked me questions that were not really directly related to my IT job. He asked me about Integration and Differentiation which I had studied in college 12-13 years back and another question he asked was "How do calculate 1+2+3+4+5...N". Needless to say I couldn't answer them and then he went on to ask me the most usual question "Where do you see yourself 5 years from now" and my answer was a VP, manage a team etc and then he told. "Bad answer, thats not how you answer, you must answer what you are going to do to become a VP, what are the skills you have to become the VP etc."

Now the worst was yet to come. After the scheduled 1/2 hour was over, he told me he had to attend another call and that he wants still talk to me so he will call me back after 1/2 an hour. It was already 9PM here and so I went to quickly grab my dinner and reflecting how bad the interview was.

The interviewer promptly called me back after 1/2 an hour and guess what his question was "Did you figure out how to calculate 1+2+3+3.." and I was like "No" and he replied "Thats why you were given the 1/2 an hour" and I was like

[nakatago]

Some people ask questions because they want to find out something.

Other people ask questions because they want to stump people and validate their feeling of superiority over others.

That said, calculus is indeed used in finance.

[PNGMK]

You could have googled that in 1 minute while talking to him.
However I do feel for you. If you want a position as a Quant you do need to be a quant.

The "in 5 years" question I answer as maverick... "not stuck in this bloody job working for this company!".

[Mi Amigo]

I hate smart Alec interviewers like that, who are normally just trying to catch the interviewee out and massage their own ego at the same time. Asking job relevant technical questions is obviously OK, but that can be done in a way that doesn't intimidate the interviewee. Probably better to not end up working for someone like that anyway IMO.

[PNGMK]

This will cheer you up - Bunnings is a huge H/W retailer in Australia.

~ BUNNINGS JOB APPLICATION ~

This is an actual job application that a 75-year-old pensioner submitted to Bunnings in Burleigh Heads. They hired him because he was so funny....

NAME:
Adam Landon Jones (Grumpy Bastard)

SEX:
Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITON:
Company's Chief Executive or Managing Director. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying in the first place - would I?

DESIRED SALARY:
$150,000 a year plus share options and a good redundancy package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION:
Yes.

LAST POSITON HELD:
Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY:
A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:
It was a crap job.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
Any.

PRFFERRPD HOURS:
1:30 - 3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:
Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:
If I had one, would I be here'?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?:
Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:
I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITON?:
I may already be a winner of the Reader's Digest Timeshare Free Holiday Offer, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?:
On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy Swedish supermodel with big tits and who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE?:
12 Kms

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:
Oh yes. absolutely.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After landing my new job as a Bunnings "Greeter" - a goodfind for many retirees, I lasted less than a day . . . . .
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting Bogan babe walked into the store with her two kids,yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said, pleasantly,
"Good morning and welcome to Bunnings."
I then said,"Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"

The woman stopped yelling long enough to say,
"No, they ain't effin twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7, why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just effin stupid?"

I replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Madam. I just couldn't believe someone shagged you twice.... Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Bunnings."

My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

[nakatago]

Probably better to not end up working for someone like that anyway IMO.

This.

[x9200]

A complicated situation. On one hand a humiliating question for this sort of position, on the other hand it looks it was justifiable to ask you this question.

[Wd40]

I am actually relieved that the interview process is over, although I am badly looking for a job and in Singapore and in my specific job area, its not easy to get opportunities like this. There are only 2 banks in Singapore, that really pay IT jobs well, in my specific area. One bank is I am currently working for and the other bank is the one I interviewed last night

I am quite neutral. Normally I look forward to being selected and offered a job and considering the situation I am in( my bank is winding down most IT jobs out of Singapore and its just a matter of time, currently it looks end the year or end of Q1 2014)I definitely cannot reject any offers.

So if I get this offer, I will most definitely take it. Just that after this interview, I wont feel terribly bad, if I dont get selected. Reason, what Mi Amigo mentioned earlier.

And thanks everybody for your comments, I am feeling much better already

[Strong Eagle]

The guy may be hard on you, and he was also giving you the opportunity to shine in difficult circumstances. I agree with OSOD... you could have googled both the calculus and the series computation, and given him an answer like, "Unfortunately, I've not had the opportunity to use my higher math training in my current position, but the essentials are still there... let me brush up and get back to you".

And I have to agree with the interviewer... responses about the future are best action oriented... and since companies are always about the dollars, you could say, "I see myself as being appointed VP because I streamlined the frammis process, thereby saving the company 432 bazillion dollars."

Chalk it up as lessons learned. I used to hire project managers who had to work for an extremely difficult client. Using a confederate, I'd deliberately bait them to see how they would react when confronted with a total asshole. The huffy and offended ones didn't get the job.

[x9200]

I would just respond I don't know, but if you give me few minutes I am going to figure it out. What happened is a failure to manage a very simple situation with two other failures indicating that you just don't care.

[zzm9980]

One of my former managers would give projects to people who he was on the fence about. Say someone who got a good referral but bombed the interview, since some just do interview poorly even if they'd be a great fit.

As you may guess, almost no one would ever do it. Rather simple (if you're in the field) stuff too. Like, "read this paper, and do what they did" and give someone a week. It make take a good three to four hours of work if you really had no clue what the paper was about, but if you could figure it out, he'd hire you. I believe he was told he couldn't do that anymore though, as it was of uncertain legality in California.

[Max Headroom]

I remember one that was similar, years ago. Had an interview with the HR dude who was going to decide if they were gonna hire me. As I walked into his office and greeted him, he didn't say a word, didn't look up from his desk at all, just kept noting stuff down, looking busy.

This went on for a minute, when finally he barely looks up and says drily: You come home after a long day and it's cold. You've got a single matchstick left, but you have a gas stove, a gas heater and a gas boiler - now, what are you going to light first? So I think of an answer that I can back up the moment he ambushes me with "Why that"? and I say, The gas heater.

His smug reply? Wrong, the first thing you're going to light is your matchstick .

The rest of the interview went just as badly; I never manager to regroup. In hindsight, I think they'd already found the bloke they needed by then and this chap was just passing time with me.

Frankly though, the best thing that happened to me was not getting hired by this guy.

[Mi Amigo]

^^^^ A highly technical medical term comes to mind for people like that.

[sundaymorningstaple]

^^^^ I didn't know thaaaaat was considered a medical term!

[PNGMK]

One of my former managers would give projects to people who he was on the fence about. Say someone who got a good referral but bombed the interview, since some just do interview poorly even if they'd be a great fit.

As you may guess, almost no one would ever do it. Rather simple (if you're in the field) stuff too. Like, "read this paper, and do what they did" and give someone a week. It make take a good three to four hours of work if you really had no clue what the paper was about, but if you could figure it out, he'd hire you. I believe he was told he couldn't do that anymore though, as it was of uncertain legality in California.

I've hired dozens of engineers. I always have them respond (by email) to a single page written test with 20 odd questions from all spheres of engineering. I don't care if they google every bloody answer - what I'm trying to do is see the quality of their written responses to every day situations we face as well as some examples of their math and engineering capabilities and their ability to research in areas outside their general realm of knowledge. Guess which one they stuff up most?:

"Round off to 4 significant digits the number 38.136234"

Understanding the significance of numbers and precision of measurement is a key requirement for anyone moving into the instrumentation field.