Wedding Hong Bao guidelines 2018

bradtok · Post by **bradtok** » Thu, 12 Sep 2013 1:02 pm

Sorry, but I'm not so familiar with the customs as I just moved here. The earlier post seems to give the impression that there is a certain level of expectation.

I just got invited to a Chinese Banquet so the link really helps. Thanks so much!

taxico · Post by **taxico** » Tue, 17 Dec 2013 1:16 pm

the lynx wrote:If only someone can come up with the guideline for funeral money (also known as "white gold" or "bai jing" in Chinese)...

depends on how close the deceased's family is to you.

i usually give $50 for people i don't really know and $100 for people i know well and $75 in-between.

knock on wood.

uscate · Post by **uscate** » Tue, 07 Jan 2014 7:51 pm

We've been invited to a wedding at Raffles Hotel….If I'm reading the Ang Bao article correctly, we give $168 to the host. Is this per person? Since the host is the bride's father, does that mean it's customary to reimburse the host for the cost of your portion of the wedding festivities? Of course we'll also want to give a gift to the bride and groom - should we also follow the Ang Bao guidelines for this gift as well?

Not trying to put too fine a point on this, but I want to be sure I don't commit some social faux pas….

Thanks -

the lynx · Post by **the lynx** » Wed, 08 Jan 2014 8:43 am

uscate wrote:We've been invited to a wedding at Raffles Hotel….If I'm reading the Ang Bao article correctly, we give $168 to the host. Is this per person? Since the host is the bride's father, does that mean it's customary to reimburse the host for the cost of your portion of the wedding festivities? Of course we'll also want to give a gift to the bride and groom - should we also follow the Ang Bao guidelines for this gift as well?

Not trying to put too fine a point on this, but I want to be sure I don't commit some social faux pas….

Thanks -

From what I've learned, regardless of who in the wedding couple's families personally invited you, you should give the red envelope. And yes that $168 is per person. If you're already giving the red envelope(s), gifts are not necessary but they will definitely appreciate it very much if you add a gift on top of the red envelopes

Save the gifting part for a real Western wedding.

PrimroseHill · Post by **PrimroseHill** » Wed, 08 Jan 2014 9:09 am

A colleague of mine directed me to this last year. We were invited to a few of husband's colleague's wedding.
We hardly know them, they are work colleagues after all. It was a chinese banquet at a 5star hotel and that meant each of us had to cough up $300 per person. What a stinger

How about renewal of the vows?

uscate · Post by **uscate** » Wed, 08 Jan 2014 9:29 am

Thank you Lynx - I really appreciate the feedback. We'll definitely fill up the red envelope, but I do find it odd that a gift to the bride and groom is not considered "necessary" as well. Will just go ahead and do that also, in keeping with our Western ways….

ecureilx · Post by **ecureilx** » Wed, 08 Jan 2014 10:04 am

Many many years ago, I was invited for a wedding, held in Orchard Mandarin, and since my work took me to Malaysia, and I declined the invite like a month before the invite ..

When I came back, the bride sort of was mad I couldn't make it .. and then blurted out that she ran a big loss at the wedding .. and I should how some how made it for the wedding .. etc. etc. .. lesson learnt ..

Now I decline wedding invites sooner, if I suspect it maybe beyond my pocket or .. I am not confirmed. better to say Not attending than to have a seat blocked and then not paying for your bum's parking place

and .. in the news ..

http://tinyurl.com/kyxfytz

Post by **sundaymorningstaple** » Wed, 08 Jan 2014 12:46 pm

It was 110K on FB for the same couple.

BradClark · Post by **BradClark** » Wed, 15 Jan 2014 4:28 pm

I'm ok with giving the red bag at the wedding, but if the family is from China Mainland you're going to be getting tons of invites. Not just to weddings but every other occasion they can think of.

Post by **sundaymorningstaple** » Sun, 19 Jan 2014 7:57 pm

Timely update with some Chinese New Year Ang Bao rates if you are involved with this.....

nanana · Post by **nanana** » Thu, 24 Jul 2014 11:18 pm

Chanced upon this topic. Whatabout for Malay wedding in Singapore? What should you give? It's my first ever Malay wedding to attend. The bride is my new colleague. Not that close. But still have to be nice to attend her wedding.
Any suggestions?

the lynx · Post by **the lynx** » Fri, 25 Jul 2014 8:42 am

nanana wrote:Chanced upon this topic. Whatabout for Malay wedding in Singapore? What should you give? It's my first ever Malay wedding to attend. The bride is my new colleague. Not that close. But still have to be nice to attend her wedding.
Any suggestions?

The URL I posted in the first post in this thread has Malay wedding section. But in general, if it is at HDB void deck, minimum SGD20 per head. If in a CC, SGD50. If in a restaurant or hotel, follow the Chinese wedding guidelines based on hotel rates.

wasabigeek · Post by **wasabigeek** » Tue, 26 May 2015 4:11 pm

Is there a similar site / guide for less traditional venues? Like Hort Park or Alkaff Mansion.

JR8 · Post by **JR8** » Tue, 26 May 2015 5:17 pm

I found the whole thing, of obliging your guests to pay for the event you're 'kindly' inviting them to pretty weird, and even cynical. Our invites clearly stated 'No gifts thank you' [or similar].
I suppose it's a cultural shift, here in Asia you get married and are then ever-after beholden to your family/circle: Whereas in the West you get married, (often) expressly to move out and get away from them.

---- A gift in a truer (Confucianist) sense would be money in an envelope that had no name on it. Giving of yourself, and wanting nothing back. Giving, giving!!

Nah, but it never works like that does it.... It is a '''gift''' always expecting an equal return, hence it's no gift at all.

JimmyOng · Post by **JimmyOng** » Thu, 25 Jun 2015 1:08 pm

JR8 wrote:I found the whole thing, of obliging your guests to pay for the event you're 'kindly' inviting them to pretty weird, and even cynical. Our invites clearly stated 'No gifts thank you' [or similar].
I suppose it's a cultural shift, here in Asia you get married and are then ever-after beholden to your family/circle: Whereas in the West you get married, (often) expressly to move out and get away from them.

---- A gift in a truer (Confucianist) sense would be money in an envelope that had no name on it. Giving of yourself, and wanting nothing back. Giving, giving!!
Nah, but it never works like that does it.... It is a '''gift''' always expecting an equal return, hence it's no gift at all.

That's a good idea actually, but i am not sure if it'll catch on in Singapore.

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