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Study: Most SGNs wntt help if they witness dom. violence

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zzm9980
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Study: Most SGNs wntt help if they witness dom. violence

Postby zzm9980 » Tue, 28 May 2013 6:40 pm

(Sorry for the choppy subject, there is a character limit)

http://blogs.wsj.com/searealtime/2013/0 ... ce-victims


[quote]Eight in 10 Singaporeans say they wouldn’t intervene if someone they knew– a friend, relative or neighbor – were being abused by a partner, a survey released Monday by a non-governmental organization found.

....

“There is probably this perception [in Singapore] that if it isn’t happening to me, then it is not my problem,â€Â

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Tue, 28 May 2013 8:36 pm

Typical unless they have their phone with them so they can upload to Stomp behind a moniker.

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Postby PNGMK » Tue, 28 May 2013 9:26 pm

IF you've ever diffused a DMV or other violent act you'll understand why.... I've diffused a few and suffered physical assault as a result. I will say this though - the SPF are quite good at handling DV in my experience. They usually separate the couple and often insist one leave the flat if violence is likely to continue.

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Postby JR8 » Tue, 28 May 2013 9:57 pm

As I suggested in an earlier topic. The weird thing here, is that people live physically closer (front doors open, children running around), but socially are much more distant.

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Postby Sergei82 » Wed, 29 May 2013 10:45 am

+1 to PNGMK. I will not intervene myself when, for example, I see a couple fighting and I would strongly advise you not to intervene as well (unless you want to become an enemy to both of them immediately).
I can explain the logic in this, but I know, most of people here understand everything themselves.

The issue is different: why is it domestic violence is such a widespread thing in Singapore?
But I guess, this was discussed many times as well.

P.S.: I knew one American guy while I was living in Seoul. He saw a Korean lady being beaten violently by her boyfriend at Itaewon - with screams and blood. He (American guy) stepped in and beat the Korean guy in order to protect the lady. Somebody around called the police. Police came, the lady reported to them that it is the American guy was beating her, her Korean boyfriend tried to step in, but was beaten as well. Needless to say, the guy needed to leave Korea soon.

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Postby bgd » Wed, 29 May 2013 10:56 am

I would be surprised if they even noticed it. They don't seem to notice anything else outside of their bubble.

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Postby the lynx » Wed, 29 May 2013 11:05 am

Sergei82 wrote:+1 to PNGMK. I will not intervene myself when, for example, I see a couple fighting and I would strongly advise you not to intervene as well (unless you want to become an enemy to both of them immediately).
I can explain the logic in this, but I know, most of people here understand everything themselves.

The issue is different: why is it domestic violence is such a widespread thing in Singapore?
But I guess, this was discussed many times as well.

P.S.: I knew one American guy while I was living in Seoul. He saw a Korean lady being beaten violently by her boyfriend at Itaewon - with screams and blood. He (American guy) stepped in and beat the Korean guy in order to protect the lady. Somebody around called the police. Police came, the lady reported to them that it is the American guy was beating her, her Korean boyfriend tried to step in, but was beaten as well. Needless to say, the guy needed to leave Korea soon.


Why does one has to raise the fists to defend the victim? Can't just one do with restrain instead? Beating up the culprit really blurs the boundary and any Good Samaritan can get the finger pointed at himself instead.

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Postby nutnut » Wed, 29 May 2013 11:18 am

I'm with Sergei and OSOD, I wouldn't step in.

I have a friend who interrupted a spat where a guy was beating a woman in the street, whilst struggling with the guy, he took a stilletto to the head numerous times and ended up in hospital for a few weeks.

If a friend or family member was in a stushy with their partner then I may restrain one of them though.
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Postby Wd40 » Wed, 29 May 2013 11:30 am

This is not just a Singaporean thing. Its is cultural thing in most of Asia. When something like this happens people dimiss it as a "personal" or "family" matter.

Also like Sergei, pointed out, there is a high chance that the women suffering will not openly admit to it, to "protect" her husband. So if you go an try to interrupt, there is a high chance that both the man and women tell you "buzz off, this is between us"

I understand this is completely opposite to the west. Although not same, but somewhat related, in Asia, its very common for parents to beat up their children to discipline them, but in the west, I understand, you can get into big trouble for doing this. There was very famous case of Indian family losing the custody of their kid because they beat him up in Norway.

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Postby katbh » Wed, 29 May 2013 11:55 am

Basically Singapore is a sexist society. Such sexism can lead to violence against women as women are perceived as inferior to some extent. The same study stated that (i think it was 20%+) of men believed that if a woman was raped she must have been 'asking for it'. This was the gist of the study. And although I will get shot down here, I agree. In the west, such statements are seen for the foolishness that they are.

Singapore girls still see 'housewife' as their main longterm career option. A few years being a banker, or lawyer or what ever, and then marry have 1 child and become a house wife.

Whilst being a homemaker should not be seen as a lesser career, it should only be one CHOICE of any career open to a girl. Not the prime career. In the west, middle class society is moving more to a dual sharing role in home care and child care. Whilst in Singapore (and Japan - as reported in the New Paper on the same date) society still assumes that women's primary role will be as a homemaker.

My child reports that many of her local class mates and teachers say that women are getting too feminist and aggressive and many of the boys say that the girls need to get married so that they are 'controlled' and will be more 'feminine'. This comes from the mouths of bright students in a selective secondary school here - both boys and girls. It even comes from at least one of the teachers - and curiously enough she is a woman.

The government in the past has found it convenient to support these 'norms' as it has meant that the labour market is not flooded with extra people looking for a job. But now that there is a labour shortage, the government now says that they need to get more women and retirees back into the work force - the two groups that the government previously actively discouraged from seeking work. Machiavelli lives on. No doubt they will flip back when the workforce is again saturated.
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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Wed, 29 May 2013 12:16 pm

One must remember that Singapore is still a patriarchal Asian society and this is still pretty much ingrained into the local psychic.

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Postby Sergei82 » Wed, 29 May 2013 12:17 pm

Now everybody will speak about what worries him/her most, but not on the topic!
The point was: a couple is fighting, should I step in?

Answer: no. On psychological level a quarrel is a form of sex - same hormones are being secreted in the body, same physiological reactions, even similar phases (couples with no sexual problems quarrel rarely if at all). So if you step in, you will have reaction similar to what you would have if you interruted somebody's intercourse.

The only related point in katbh's post is: yes, local girls willingly allow treating themselves like that, while Caucasian ones can kick asses themselves! That is why there are not too many Asian man+Caucasian woman couples here.

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Postby bgd » Wed, 29 May 2013 12:28 pm

katbh wrote:… women are getting too feminist and aggressive ….


I have to agree with this, but in the west. :D

I have found the Asian attitude quite refreshing and very similar to that of Eastern European women.

I’ll duck for cover now!! :cool:

katbh wrote:
The government in the past has found it convenient to support these 'norms' as it has meant that the labour market is not flooded with extra people looking for a job. But now that there is a labour shortage, the government now says that they need to get more women and retirees back into the work force - the two groups that the government previously actively discouraged from seeking work. Machiavelli lives on. No doubt they will flip back when the workforce is again saturated.


Good old social engineering. Guess they now regret the sterilisation programme in the 1970s and early '80s too.

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Postby zzm9980 » Wed, 29 May 2013 3:39 pm

See, I must be the odd-ball. I wouldn't mind my own business. I would try to break it up and/or call the police. I would not just ignore it. Breaking it up does not mean trying to beat down the guy (or girl) as some of the previous examples in this thread.

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Postby katbh » Wed, 29 May 2013 3:43 pm

Yep, sometimes just a verbal interruption is enough for them to know that they are being observed and that others are aware of what is going on.
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