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whats with the rudeness

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sherro74
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whats with the rudeness

Postby sherro74 » Thu, 02 May 2013 7:41 pm

Hi All,

Quick question as new to Singapore. Absolutely love it. Admittedly against my better judgement I ended up in Ridley Park, Tanglin near Dempsey. Great spot but surrounded by obscene wealth.

As someone new with a fresh pair of eyes, I have noticed something that is rather curious and wondered if it were me just expecting too much, or if indeed it is a reality.

Expat Singaporeans around Ridley Park are really quite rude ! My wife said hello to half a dozen people in the condo and they either looked down and completely ignored her or just looked at her. All British women and a kiwi.

Dont get it, never experienced it before, 24 years in UK and 13 years in Oz, takes all types but genuinely very friendly.

maybe it was a bad day, but I have noticed it aswell. its not like we are running up saying 'hi we are new here can we be your friend' far from it, just saying hello and being completely blanked, time and again.

Or will it be us in 12 months when the next wide eyed couple roll into town. haha, hope not...

HHHHmmmm

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Postby durain » Thu, 02 May 2013 8:43 pm

welcome to singapore! maybe some expat fear the competition? or maybe they are too rich to speak to you? some expat like to keep to their own circle.

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Postby BedokAmerican » Thu, 02 May 2013 9:32 pm

Sounds like you ran into a bunch of wannabes. If someone really is that wealthy, they're not going have to act wealthy.

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Postby HA » Thu, 02 May 2013 9:48 pm

I've also noted this behavior on and off esp. around the commute hours when everyone is probably stressed. But thankfully, people in my condo are still a smiling lot!

Don't let it frustrate you- take it easy and here is to you not becoming one of these in 12 months!

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Postby sensei_ » Thu, 02 May 2013 9:59 pm

better get used to it. these days when im in singapore i just turn off any sense of manners, common courtesy, respect, etc.

greetings usually get returned with cold stares, and this is coming from both locals and expats. common courtesy like holding the door doesnt exist here either, again, this is both by locals and expats.

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Postby HA » Thu, 02 May 2013 10:12 pm

sensei_ wrote:common courtesy like holding the door doesnt exist here either, again, this is both by locals and expats.


I beg to differ on this one. People around where I live do hold the door over 90% of the times. Yes, a small percentage of the population, but still exists.

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Thu, 02 May 2013 10:38 pm

I still hold the door open, especially in the lifts, much to the dismay of the locals in the lift. Same with letting cars come out of side street or driveways that enter Lornie Road during morning peak hours, again, much to the chagrin of the drivers behind me. Doesn't cost me anything but they get to lose a lot of face (in their minds only). I stilll carry my tray back to the cleaning area like I did 30+ years ago. Good manners are a part of the upbringing you had from birth. You don't lose it.

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Thu, 02 May 2013 10:41 pm

BUT! if yo block me coming out of the train, I bust your kneecaps or shins with a 14kg hardside samsonite briefcase. But I will apologize with the admonishment of "had you had a bit more courtesy to let people get OFF the train first, that wouldn't have happened. Maybe next time you will give way as you should." But most don't learn, until the get hit by the same briefcase at the same stop and the same time several times. :wink: :P

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Re: whats with the rudeness

Postby JR8 » Thu, 02 May 2013 11:29 pm

sherro74 wrote:Or will it be us in 12 months when the next wide eyed couple roll into town. haha, hope not...

HHHHmmmm


Got it in one. When you're a really seasoned ol' expat the absolutely last thing you want to deal with is gushing newbie-strangers. 'OMG don't you know I'm so above that, I'm so in-country I positively despise you new arrivals...

Next thing you'll be taking sweaters and down jackets with you when you go to a shopping centre.... because you've gone SO native you have a problem with air-con, which of course is only for newbies...


p.s. Yes there are some real a-hole snobby ex-pats in SG; but it is simpler just to sit back and enjoy laughing at them...


...and so on!

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Postby the lynx » Fri, 03 May 2013 8:47 am

sundaymorningstaple wrote:I still hold the door open, especially in the lifts, much to the dismay of the locals in the lift. Same with letting cars come out of side street or driveways that enter Lornie Road during morning peak hours, again, much to the chagrin of the drivers behind me. Doesn't cost me anything but they get to lose a lot of face (in their minds only). I stilll carry my tray back to the cleaning area like I did 30+ years ago. Good manners are a part of the upbringing you had from birth. You don't lose it.


sundaymorningstaple wrote:BUT! if yo block me coming out of the train, I bust your kneecaps or shins with a 14kg hardside samsonite briefcase. But I will apologize with the admonishment of "had you had a bit more courtesy to let people get OFF the train first, that wouldn't have happened. Maybe next time you will give way as you should." But most don't learn, until the get hit by the same briefcase at the same stop and the same time several times.



Brilliant!

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Postby Akimbo » Fri, 03 May 2013 11:21 am

sundaymorningstaple wrote:BUT! if yo block me coming out of the train, I bust your kneecaps or shins with a 14kg hardside samsonite briefcase. But I will apologize with the admonishment of "had you had a bit more courtesy to let people get OFF the train first, that wouldn't have happened. Maybe next time you will give way as you should." But most don't learn, until the get hit by the same briefcase at the same stop and the same time several times. :wink: :P


Mostly I see people tend to put their faces towards the exits, and everybody follow suit so as not to have some kind of awkwardness (which actually does happen to me from time to time, and the dude just doesn't feel it)

What I still don't get is why people don't check their behind when they arrive at a stop and then give way. I see that they just stand there like a statue...I had to tap and slightly raise my whispering voice as well as shove people to get out of my train...

And the worst offender that I almost always see, people of all shapes and sizes, young and old, coming into the train (whilst knowing that there are plenty of people queuing behind them to get in) would stop midway just to hold on the rails, even though there's plenty of space left in the middle of the compartment.

Most of the time, I stand in the MRT without holding on to anything, and it's pretty safe (unlike buses). I mean, if it's an older person (60-70+), that's understandable, but when they look like they are still healthy with a good sense of balance, really?
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Postby bgd » Fri, 03 May 2013 2:42 pm

I would guess it's the area. I find generally that both locals and expats are pretty friendly.

The only place I've ever had trouble is Cold Storage at Great World City. You'll never meet a more obnoxious bunch of expats. By lunchtime the usually friendly staff are surly and unhelpful due to the treatment they get. Someone suggested it might be due to all the Serviced Apartments in the area, basically a bunch of newly arrived self-important expats.

Haven't been back for years so it now maybe a very nice place to shop and the dross have moved to Ridley Park.

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Postby Barnsley » Fri, 03 May 2013 2:57 pm

sundaymorningstaple wrote:BUT! if yo block me coming out of the train, I bust your kneecaps or shins with a 14kg hardside samsonite briefcase. But I will apologize with the admonishment of "had you had a bit more courtesy to let people get OFF the train first, that wouldn't have happened. Maybe next time you will give way as you should." But most don't learn, until the get hit by the same briefcase at the same stop and the same time several times. :wink: :P


I just drop the shoulder or just stand in front of them and ask how you getting on if I cant get off!!
Life is short, paddle harder!!

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Fri, 03 May 2013 3:12 pm

Yeah, but if you think back to our gathering, I'm a little on the height challenged side and I'm not built like a 4x4 like Sergei! But that lowers my CoG and also means a lower arc on the briefcase means the shins or knees.

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Postby Global Player » Sat, 04 May 2013 4:38 pm

When I worked in Taiwan 10 years ago I attended an intercultural training. They told me holding the door for a Chinese lady could be seen as you want to make a move on her. LOL. Guess times have changed ;)


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