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Interracial Couples--How Common?

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WanWanWan
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Interracial Couples--How Common?

Postby WanWanWan » Mon, 11 Feb 2013 10:57 am

My spouse and I are an interracial couple (Asian and Caucasian).

How common is this in Singapore? We're used to getting some pretty poor treatment at times over here. Comments about marrying for appearances/money, not being served in restaurants, real estate agents 'forgetting' to call back, and so on. It's one of those things that you don't notice until it happens to you every few days. And that's not counting the stares we get on a daily basis. Very unpleasant.

We once kissed (a light peck on the cheek) each other goodbye at the train station (we catch different trains to get to work) and a gesticulating man came up and berated us for being indecent, despite the fact that not quite two feet away a teenage couple were literally licking each others' faces and groping various body parts. This is not unusual for us and we're used to it over here in our so-called 'multicultural' country.

In Singapore, how common are mixed race couples? Do people stare? Do you get treated worse? Is it harder to find a place to rent? Again, since it's hard to notice these things unless they happen to you because you are in that position, I would especially appreciate any people in the same boat themselves giving any insights.

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Wd40
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Postby Wd40 » Mon, 11 Feb 2013 11:53 am

Mixed race couples are not very common, but there are quite a few. There will be occasional stares, whispering and judgemental comments, but dont worry its unlikely to get to the point of annoyance

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Postby zzm9980 » Mon, 11 Feb 2013 12:27 pm

I think Caucasian male/asian female is rather common here, I see quite a few. I fall in that category, and have almost no negative experiences due to it. I would say the opposite, it has gotten us better service and more (positive) attention. That could primarily be due to our mixed daughter though. I've seen people ignore their own children to fawn over her.

Now, another case I see a lot of is caucasian male/SE Asian female where the male is much older and out of shape, and the girl isn't particularly attractive but dresses like she's going to the bar with makeup and overly tight clothing. I could understand if that particular type of couple received negative attention due to the stereotypes (fair or not) how those types of relationships started and what they're all about.

Public displays of affection are pretty taboo in Singapore (and most of Asia). Judging by the birth rate, private displays also seem rather taboo.

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Postby WanWanWan » Mon, 11 Feb 2013 12:58 pm

zzm9980 wrote:I think Caucasian male/asian female is rather common here, I see quite a few. I fall in that category, and have almost no negative experiences due to it.


Great to know this--thanks. We are actually the less common type: Asian male/Caucasian female. So a lot of people think it's a money-based marriage, because 'what self-respecting white girl would stoop to marrying an ethnic' (we've had this said to us, yes). So there is no danger of people thinking we fall into the old unfit white male with young tightly-clothed asian female stereotype. Hopefully we'll still be alright.

It doesn't bother us much what people say and think about us. It's when we have complete strangers accost us with their stupid racist ideas that it gets inconvenient. And that's not mentioning how hard some official channels can get (although they are always ready with an excuse, despite it happening far too frequently to be human error or just chance).

We've travelled to China to visit family a few times, and are very much used to no public displays of affection, but thanks for the heads-up nonetheless.

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Mon, 11 Feb 2013 2:09 pm

WD40, again, posting without researching first.

In 2011, one in five marriages (19.8 per cent) was an inter-ethnic union. There were 5,388 such marriages last year, almost double the 2,814 in 2001.

This info taken from the bird cage liner using "number of mixed marriages in Singapore" in Google.

It was much different, however, when my wife and I got married 30 years ago, as the derogatory comments that were hurled at my wife were atrocious when we went to Tekka Market. Of course I didn't understand what was said and my wife refused to translate while we were there as she didn't want to see me get into a brawl where I'd be outnumbered 20K to one. ;-) I did, however, understand tone of voice though.

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Postby Wd40 » Mon, 11 Feb 2013 3:22 pm

Wow! Thats a big number, I certainly didnt expect it to be that high, may be because I didnt observe too many during my interactions here. If its a Malay and chinese couple, may be it wont even attract my attention as much as it would if there was an Indian or Caucasian in the mix. May be because both Chinese and Malay are oriental and similar enough, to not stand out as much.
Last edited by Wd40 on Mon, 11 Feb 2013 6:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby QRM » Mon, 11 Feb 2013 4:03 pm

I just flicked through my Facebook chums and out of 137 friends 39 are mixed raced couples.

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Postby Brah » Mon, 11 Feb 2013 4:24 pm

sundaymorningstaple wrote:It was much different, however, when my wife and I got married 30 years ago, as the derogatory comments that were hurled at my wife were atrocious when we went to Tekka Market. Of course I didn't understand what was said and my wife refused to translate while we were there as she didn't want to see me get into a brawl where I'd be outnumbered 20K to one. ;-) I did, however, understand tone of voice though.

I'm so glad I can't understand what they're saying, there's no way I would not lash back twice as hard.

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Mon, 11 Feb 2013 4:31 pm

Brah, my wife knows that about me as well, that's why she'd never tell me while there. But some of the stuff she was called is beyond belief.

Today, though it's much different.

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Wd40
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Postby Wd40 » Mon, 11 Feb 2013 4:39 pm

Yikes! Somebody has badly edited my post. Please put back what was there originally followed by your comment.

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sundaymorningstaple
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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Mon, 11 Feb 2013 4:43 pm

SH*T!

That was me. Sorry, no idea how that happened. Well, I do, actually, I must have hit the edit button instead of the quote button (both are side by side for moderators) and not realized it.

Crap. The bots haven't picked it up either (Yahoo or Google) as the exchange is was too fast. Damn. Sorry Rev. I surely didn't mean it, as I actually thought I quoted a part of your text not realizing I actually was edited your post.

Anyway I've moved my comments out. If you can go back and edit you post to add back the missing bits, feel free to do so as the bots didn't pick it up in time.
Last edited by sundaymorningstaple on Mon, 11 Feb 2013 4:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Mon, 11 Feb 2013 4:47 pm

Wd40 wrote:Wow! Thats a big number, I certainly didnt expect it to be that high, may be because I didnt observe too many during my interactions here.



Which just helps support the claim that India Indians refuse to assimilate with the locals. and tend to make little enclaves where they try to make little Indias of their own kind. Also noted previously by another poster regarding certain condo complexes being predominantly made up of Indian tenants. ;-)

Sorry Rev, but you left yourself wide open that time. :-D

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Postby JR8 » Mon, 11 Feb 2013 5:31 pm

Yep, and another one here too :)

I get some back-chat too, esp on the MRT or in public lifts. I won't identify our races or that of the people who think my SGn wife won't understand their verbal abuse.

I've got to recognising some of the key-words (foreign language) that are said at times literally right behind my back.

I learned three or four jaw-droppingly short but sharp retorts in the applicable language. Though I have never resorted to using one.

Normally I just let it wash over me. But, if they are playing to an audience and/or spitting with hate, I'll turn around, nodding, and smiling, and stare at the person concerned [a visual 'Really?']. This is ample to make them wish to disappear through the 'floorboards', especially if done in front of others/locals who will share the joke with you. Public humiliation is a powerful thing for most people in SG.


p.s. I'm not trying to create an impression that this is frequent or a big-deal, as it's not. The above is simply how I deal with it when it happens.

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Postby JR8 » Mon, 11 Feb 2013 5:36 pm

Wd40 wrote:Wow! Thats a big number, I certainly didnt expect it to be that high, may be because I didnt observe too many during my interactions here.


WD40 originally wrote:
'Wow! Thats a big number, I certainly didnt expect it to be that high, may be because I didnt observe too many during my interactions here. If its a Malay and chinese couple, may be it wont even attract my attention as much as it would if there was an Indian or Caucasian in the mix. May be because both Chinese and Malay are oriental and similar enough, to not stand out as much'.



HTH ;)

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Re: Interracial Couples--How Common?

Postby x9200 » Mon, 11 Feb 2013 6:15 pm

WanWanWan wrote:We're used to getting some pretty poor treatment at times over here. Comments about marrying for appearances/money, not being served in restaurants, real estate agents 'forgetting' to call back, and so on. It's one of those things that you don't notice until it happens to you every few days. And that's not counting the stares we get on a daily basis. Very unpleasant.

What you described above sounds very much like a standard service quality in Singapore. How long are you here?


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