worlds best (or worst) jokes thread!

[alittlerisky]

OK. I have a slightly bizarre of humour, so lets start a jokes thread. Lets try to keep it vaguely keen. And if it takes off, maybe the mods will consider making a sticky.

So...

science based joke:

THE UNIVERSAL INGREDIENTS: time, hydrogen.

Maths based pick up line:

I wish I was your problem set. Because I'd be really hard and you'd be doing me on your desk.


Cowboy(ish) joke:

A dog like into some wild west frontier town, bandage around his foot. Limps into the saloon, says to the barman "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw"


OK. I'll stop now.

[Steve1960]

A guy walks into a bar and asks for a beer. He downs it, looks into his pocket and asks for another beer. He downs that beer, looks into his pocket and asks for another.

The man does this a few more times until the bartender asks, "How come you ask for a beer, down it, then look in your pocket?"

The man says, "Because there is a picture of my wife in my pocket and I'm gonna keep drinking till she looks good enough for me to go home."

[alittlerisky]

I love guy walks into a bar jokes…


Guy walks into a bar. Looks around and notices that there are lumps of meat hanging from the ceiling on string. Says to the barman “What’s that all about?”

[alittlerisky]

there is a dearth of jokes here.

Anyway..

I went to the zoo yesterday. I wasn't impressed. They only had one animal exhibit and it was basically a small dog.

It was a shitzu.


*sorry

[rajagainstthemachine]

what do you call half a dozen indians with flu?

six sick sikhs (sic)