End of the world got you down? Don't fret; just because everything you love and hold dear will be taken away from you, it doesn't mean you can't have a good time. Here are just some tips that will ensure you will the best apocalypse ever.
* In case of a zombie apocalypse, remember to aim for the zombies' heads, preferable where the brain stem. This will guarantee to end their reanimation. If aiming for the head is not feasible, you can try to incapacitate them by going for their arms and legs.
* If you believe in aliens, there may be redemption for you though. If you can find yourself in the sleepy French of Bugarach in the Pyrenees, it is apparently one place on Earth that will be spared in any apocalypse. The village is a UFO sighting hotspot and many believe alien spacecraft may land on Pic de Bugarach mountain to evacuate people.
* If the singularity is nigh, remember that today's robots are not much of a threat. If the predator drones, however, somehow gain some form of sentience, run for the deepest, aircraft-impossible-to-penetrate hole you can find. Those hellfire missiles pack a wollop!
* It's a possible that a Superman-class being may go rogue and decide to kill everyone in sight. If said being, on a whim, decides to hear the world's leaders, make sure your local politician does not become some patronizing coward. That will not end well and may result in your island nation of being sunk into the ocean by an asteroid shower caused by said being.
* Some say that a solar flare may fire or that our sun (sol) may go nova. No need to worry about this folks. If this happens, everything will be too sudden for us to even react, much less feel any suffering. At all.
* Since it is the end of a baktun, it is highly likely that a Mayan or Aztec themed destruction of existence may arise. If you see the feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl in the skies, however, that may not be a bad thing. Everyone knows he's the White Tezcatlipoca and hence, the god of light (good), mercy (very good) and wind (not sure). If the black Tezcatlipoca rises (specifically from the north), however, then we're f***ed as he's the god of judgment, night, deceit, sorcery and the Earth.
So, remember, the end of times need not be a tear-filled, agony-ridden event. With a little know-how and some creativity, you too can enjoy the apocalypse.
Have a happy doomsday, everyone.
Got any other tips to enjoy the end of times? Sound off in the comments below.
