A moral maze: you be the judge

JR8 · Post by **JR8** » Fri, 07 Dec 2012 1:41 am

A Singaporean girl gets engaged to a European and moves to Europe. She lives with him for a year over. He buys her an enviable Tiffany diamond engagement ring and proposes atop the Empire State Building. They plan to get married in about six months time.

However, she runs off back to Singapore, and she keeps the ring.

p.s. Nope not me ... just a recently ex-couple I know, and I find the moral question and significance of the ring philosophically interesting.

the lynx · Post by **the lynx** » Fri, 07 Dec 2012 8:43 am

Voted Others, but since you want elaboration, here you go.

She's a witch with a capital B if she insists to keep the ring. No offence if she happens to be your close friend, relative etc but I strongly feel that the engagement ring should not be in her possession if the wedding is off, whether he cheated on her or not. That ring is meant to mark a commitment to be wed. Break that commitment, the ring is off and be sold.

Different story had the ring been a mere gift rather than an engagement ring.

On another thought, isn't this your second moral maze thread? You should start a series of that

Post by **nakatago** » Fri, 07 Dec 2012 9:01 am

It can only be justified if she has no sense of shame. I mean, what would she say if people say, "oh, that's a nice ring! Congratulations!"

carlsum1986 · Post by **carlsum1986** » Fri, 07 Dec 2012 11:18 am

it can be justified in many ways.....
there are a 1000 ways to justify it...
Just ask the wonderful ladies of Thailand as they are the best in the business....

offshoreoildude · Post by **offshoreoildude** » Fri, 07 Dec 2012 1:42 pm

This situation is actually covered in some countries by contract or tort law. In Australia I believe the woman can legally keep the ring; it's essentially a deposit for her wifely whoring duties that she retains if the contract is cancelled. All women are, essentially, worthless.

v4jr4 · Post by **v4jr4** » Fri, 07 Dec 2012 2:06 pm

We can apply a lot of scenarios that might happen. Here are my favorite versions:
1. Cold feet before marriage.
2. The "love" is "fading". One of them or both parties need additional space. I call it "Eat, Pray, Love" Before Final Countdown.
3. One of them is "hit" by gloomy past, incident, or something similar.

And about the ring, well, maybe she's in a rush.

zzm9980 · Post by **zzm9980** » Fri, 07 Dec 2012 2:13 pm

If the ring giver breaks it off either by action or word through no fault of the ring recipient, I believe it is their prerogative to keep it or return it.

v4jr4 · Post by **v4jr4** » Fri, 07 Dec 2012 2:38 pm

zzm9980 wrote:If the ring giver breaks it off either by action or word through no fault of the ring recipient, I believe it is their prerogative to keep it or return it.

As for the giver, this is one of the KNS moment.

offshoreoildude · Post by **offshoreoildude** » Fri, 07 Dec 2012 5:29 pm

Either way the fella dodged a bullet.

zzm9980 · Post by **zzm9980** » Fri, 07 Dec 2012 6:10 pm

offshoreoildude wrote:Either way the fella dodged a bullet.

+1
No doubt, worth every penny on that ring.

Cath C · Post by **Cath C** » Sat, 08 Dec 2012 1:59 pm

Hmmm... interesting. On one hand, it's a gift and gifts should be given in the spirit of unconditionality. On the other, it is a symbol of a conditional arrangement....

I think it's taking advantage of his generosity, but I'm curious - oneof theoptions in the poll was "if he cheated on her". Is that what happened? I could see how she might get angry about that, take the ring in retaliation and then regret it later.

JR8 · Post by **JR8** » Sat, 08 Dec 2012 9:50 pm

Cath C wrote:Hmmm... interesting. On one hand, it's a gift and gifts should be given in the spirit of unconditionality. On the other, it is a symbol of a conditional arrangement....

Exactly [sitting here nodding slowly], that is why it is not so straight-forward.

I think it's taking advantage of his generosity, but I'm curious - oneof theoptions in the poll was "if he cheated on her". Is that what happened? I could see how she might get angry about that, take the ring in retaliation and then regret it later.

Not that I'm aware of, and perhaps tellingly she has not suggested that that is the case either (i.e. she's managed to make a pariah of herself in several quarters, so if she feels she has justification I expect we'd have heard it). My hunch is she got cold feet (perhaps literally, it's been sub-zero all week) and is not mature enough* to make the transition from SPG with the $'d-up ang moh boyfriend, to Euro-housewife.

* Example#2, already posting photos of her 'new SGn boyfriend' on Facebook, where remaining Friends of her ex are sure to see them

p.s. don't know if it is a bug in Polls, or my browser (Opera), but I can't get anything from the 'View Results' button on the poll.

taxico · Post by **taxico** » Sat, 08 Dec 2012 10:25 pm

he's got The Memories.

screw the ring. no, wait, i mean her... wait... he can't. okay, he's got The Memories.

here's a capture;

accurate as of this post...

Post by **sundaymorningstaple** » Sat, 08 Dec 2012 10:53 pm

JR8, have you voted in your poll? Most polls will not let you see the results unless you have voted yourself. I haven't voted and I cannot see the results either (using Chrome).

JR8 · Post by **JR8** » Sun, 09 Dec 2012 2:57 am

sundaymorningstaple wrote:JR8, have you voted in your poll? Most polls will not let you see the results unless you have voted yourself. I haven't voted and I cannot see the results either (using Chrome).

Hi SMS,

No because I don't like to 'lead' a poll by voting myself. aka I understand the temptation to look at the results before voting oneself, but mathematically that really invalidates them. It's quite probable that I still haven't voted. After all, I was seeking others' opinions rather than my own.

But are you saying that by not voting, despite setting the poll, I cannot view the results? If so there is a simple test eh? What do you think?

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A moral maze: you be the judge

In your opinion would keeping the ring but not getting married be justified if:

A moral maze: you be the judge

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