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Work-related stress/depression

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Mr_M
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Work-related stress/depression

Postby Mr_M » Wed, 28 Nov 2012 2:45 pm

Does anyone else have a problem with this? From the moment I arrived in Singapore two-and-a-half years ago, I've experienced totally unprovoked hostility from some of my colleagues, who have made it clear that they resent the presence of 'angmohs' in the office. It was made worse when I received a minor promotion, and there is another white guy on my section who gets the same treatment and is also totally disillusioned.

It's petty, childish, playground stuff and I really should rise above it, but it's hard sometimes. I was transferred to a different section, which was like a breath of fresh air with lovely, nice colleagues, and had I stayed there I would be probably be preparing to sign a new contract and settle down in Singapore now. But I was moved back to my old section around seven months ago, when it became short-staffed, and since then it's just got worse. There are only two or three ring-leaders - local women around my age - but the rest follow them like sheep, and the atmosphere in the office is toxic. I was on anti-depressants before, and now I am depressed again. I have five months left on my contract, and I have to see that out to collect a bonus I am really counting on for my future plans. But it's very hard sometimes.

Because of this situation, I have very mixed feelings about Singapore. I try to see the good things about the place, but honestly, it's difficult. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

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Postby nakatago » Wed, 28 Nov 2012 3:10 pm

Though I'm not white, trust me, you're not alone. Some would say for you to stick it out if you like here it so much. Frankly, though, with the government annihilating the scores and leagues of foreigners, I can only reluctantly advise you to prepare an exit plan. Hostile colleagues, unfriendly host country, passive aggressive people at least for me outweigh the security, low income tax and what not.

But here's the thing: those types you described (along with a whole lot of others) don't pick up wit too well and also most likely miss sarcasm as well. Couple those with the utter lack of lateral thinking, you got some pretty creative getback coming. Don't get mad; get even.

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Re: Work-related stress/depression

Postby Asian_Geekette » Wed, 28 Nov 2012 3:17 pm

Mr_M wrote:It's petty, childish, playground stuff and I really should rise above it, but There are only two or three ring-leaders - local women around my age - but the rest follow them like sheep, and the atmosphere in the office is toxic.


Have you tried talking individually with these 3 ringleaders? Was there anything that you think you did that may have offended these 3 women?
My business is not to remake myself, but make the absolute best out of what God made. -Robert Browning

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Re: Work-related stress/depression

Postby nakatago » Wed, 28 Nov 2012 3:20 pm

Asian_Geekette wrote:
Mr_M wrote:It's petty, childish, playground stuff and I really should rise above it, but There are only two or three ring-leaders - local women around my age - but the rest follow them like sheep, and the atmosphere in the office is toxic.


Have you tried talking individually with these 3 ringleaders? Was there anything that you think you did that may have offended these 3 women?


Let me play devil's advocate here and ask if talking/rationality has ever worked with racists and 'bullies'? :twisted:

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Re: Work-related stress/depression

Postby Asian_Geekette » Wed, 28 Nov 2012 3:31 pm

nakatago wrote:
Asian_Geekette wrote:
Mr_M wrote:It's petty, childish, playground stuff and I really should rise above it, but There are only two or three ring-leaders - local women around my age - but the rest follow them like sheep, and the atmosphere in the office is toxic.


Have you tried talking individually with these 3 ringleaders? Was there anything that you think you did that may have offended these 3 women?


Let me play devil's advocate here and ask if talking/rationality has ever worked with racists and 'bullies'? :twisted:


Ok, nakatago... you play the devil's advocate. I'll just be the devil. ;)

Seriously, I hope others will also chime in and help give perspectives to the OP's issue. I also hope the OP will come back and post his responses.
My business is not to remake myself, but make the absolute best out of what God made. -Robert Browning

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Postby Darthcoder » Wed, 28 Nov 2012 3:37 pm

I'll be moving out soon because of office stress created by my new (female)boss (and no she doesnt seem to be a racist). The male boss I had till 2 months ago was so fkn cool and now this one wants to micromanage me to the limit :oops: so its goodbye I guess. Never been stressed about work but things have taken a turn for the worse this past 2 months, sigh :(. So in my case its not the colleagues and no racism too (I assume) but a woman boss :(

*Indian Nationality btw
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Postby Mr_M » Wed, 28 Nov 2012 3:50 pm

Thanks for the responses. I did try talking to the people concerned but was met with a wall of silence every time, which was frustrating. Sometimes they effectively sabotage my work by refusing to answer my questions about the job at hand.

I have of course asked sympathetic colleagues what the problem is, and they simply told me that "some people don't like angmohs". There seems to be a perception that we are overpaid and overvalued, which is simply not true.

I hear there was a meeting at work recently when neither myself nor the other white guy were present, and it became quite heated, with people openly asking questions about why the foreigners were coming in and being promoted before them. The reason - hard as it may be for them to accept - is that we are good at our jobs, which is more than can be said for many of my colleagues. I like to think I'm a nice guy and I've done everything I can to be pleasant and try to smooth things over, but there is a wall of hostility and resentment in the office and that makes it such an unpleasant place to work.

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Postby nakatago » Wed, 28 Nov 2012 3:51 pm

Darthcoder wrote:I'll be moving out soon because of office stress created by my new (female)boss (and no she doesnt seem to be a racist).


Just a biotch? :twisted:

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Re: Work-related stress/depression

Postby Sergei82 » Wed, 28 Nov 2012 4:00 pm

Mr_M wrote:Does anyone else have a problem with this? From the moment I arrived in Singapore two-and-a-half years ago, I've experienced totally unprovoked hostility from some of my colleagues, who have made it clear that they resent the presence of 'angmohs' in the office. It was made worse when I received a minor promotion, and there is another white guy on my section who gets the same treatment and is also totally disillusioned.

It's petty, childish, playground stuff and I really should rise above it, but it's hard sometimes. I was transferred to a different section, which was like a breath of fresh air with lovely, nice colleagues, and had I stayed there I would be probably be preparing to sign a new contract and settle down in Singapore now. But I was moved back to my old section around seven months ago, when it became short-staffed, and since then it's just got worse. There are only two or three ring-leaders - local women around my age - but the rest follow them like sheep, and the atmosphere in the office is toxic. I was on anti-depressants before, and now I am depressed again. I have five months left on my contract, and I have to see that out to collect a bonus I am really counting on for my future plans. But it's very hard sometimes.

Because of this situation, I have very mixed feelings about Singapore. I try to see the good things about the place, but honestly, it's difficult. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

Do you give damn? Screw them and mind your own business. Let them boil in that soup of their own resentment. Try to look happy to pour some gasoline into fire. They bully even themselves, being foreigner just makes it easier for them to justify their unreleased sexual energy (there are so many of them who are still virgins at age of 27-28-29, sometimes older).
Nobody can fire you unless your extremely underperform or outperform others. So until the contract is over, you're safe.

I know a number of Singaporeans who don't hate me. But if I start mixing them with others talking to them like "Why Singaporeans don't like foreigners so much?", they will of course.

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Postby Mr_M » Wed, 28 Nov 2012 4:01 pm

I should make it clear, by the way, that I work for a 100 per cent Singaporean company with all Singaporean bosses, so there is no way that we are being singled out for special treatment by compatriot managers or anything like that.

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Postby Darthcoder » Wed, 28 Nov 2012 4:09 pm

nakatago wrote:
Darthcoder wrote:I'll be moving out soon because of office stress created by my new (female)boss (and no she doesnt seem to be a racist).


Just a biotch? :twisted:


What you said. Dresses and looks like a man, is single and frustrated, never takes any leaves and works on weekends as well (I assume). Wants to make other's lives hell.

Just the trigger I needed to make up my mind and take the decision
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Postby Mr_M » Wed, 28 Nov 2012 4:11 pm

:)

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Postby Sergei82 » Wed, 28 Nov 2012 4:27 pm

Mr_M wrote:I should make it clear, by the way, that I work for a 100 per cent Singaporean company with all Singaporean bosses, so there is no way that we are being singled out for special treatment by compatriot managers or anything like that.


So what? Good! Or those women isolate you in the corridor and beat you up in a corner? You will never be offended unless you want to be offended yourself. I also can take about some Indians in my office. But I don't give crap - well-learned skill.

How old are you?

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Postby Mr_M » Wed, 28 Nov 2012 4:28 pm

I'm 35. And you're right, that is a well-learned skill. I should just learn to rise above the bullshit and not let it affect me.

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Postby Callput » Wed, 28 Nov 2012 4:52 pm

I think there is a deeper problem. The perception out there is that Ang Mohs are better at what they do compared to Asians and hence generally you find them as leads or managers.

But when an Ang Moh joins the lower rungs and hence directly competing with the Asians, in case of the OP he is clearly competing with locals in job that can be easily done by locals or cheaper Asians.

Now your team mates are upset that you are getting paid better while you are doing a job that an Asian can do. Hence you lose respect from the people around you.

Sad but true, when you are a white in Singapore, you forever carry that albatross around your neck of being percieved to be superior and when you are not, you get the backlash.

The only way around it is to get out of the job that Asians can do easily and find a niche for yourself or go back to Europe or wherever you came from.


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