How to manage a new maid who argues a lot

[hsparkle259]

Hi - We have got a new house maid (first timer) as i am pregnant. The maid is from Sri Lanka as we wanted some one who can learn how to cook. She has been with us for around 2 months and she has picked up a few things about indian cooking. So no problem there but we have noted that she argues alot with me, everytime I try to tell her what to do she replies back immediately with some excuses. Also the agent had told us she have babysitting experience but she does not like to take care of my 6 year old daughter , I am just worried if she will be willing to take care of the newborns?

We would like to hear if anyone had similar experiences and suggest us what to do next, should we continue with her or should we get a new one.

Thanks for your comments in advance.

[offshoreoildude]

Beat her.

[nutnut]

If you cannot work with her, then you should return her to the agency and employ one who can work with you. May I suggest that you take a Filipino maid, they tend to be favoured by expats, their English is very good and many friends tell us how they have found Filipinos best.

Obviously, physical violence or mental tourture are not acceptable and I would not condone such a thing. Some locals find it acceptable, hence OSOD's response.

[hsparkle259]

Hi nut nut, your advice is useful , we can get a phillipino maid but since I am in my last trimester of pregnancy, I needed someone who can cook for our family, and it would again take time to adjust and train the new maid which I doubt if I can do at the moment. Also we called up agent who told us he don't have new profiles at present, think he is just avoiding us, so just stuck up with this helper

[midnightvisitor]

The signs are so worrying, you should return her asap. Don't wanna risk the new born for sure. We have maid here and they're quite nice. Maybe look for a reputable agent, or through friends. word of mouth is better sometimes.

[x9200]

Hi nut nut, your advice is useful , we can get a phillipino maid but since I am in my last trimester of pregnancy, I needed someone who can cook for our family, and it would again take time to adjust and train the new maid which I doubt if I can do at the moment. Also we called up agent who told us he don't have new profiles at present, think he is just avoiding us, so just stuck up with this helper

Get rid of her or you will be likely regretting it. Very. You will always be better off with someone you could trust and is willing to work even if not yet qualified than with someone you would need to fight battles to do the simplest things right especially with a newborn aboard.

[offshoreoildude]

Learn to live without a maid.

[carlsum1986]

Learn to live without a maid.

someone is on a grouchy streak....

[x9200]

I would have suggested the same but she has a 6yo daughter and unknown support level from her husband and other family so it seemed unfair just based on the given info.

[offshoreoildude]

Learn to live without a maid.

someone is on a grouchy streak....

Screw the OP. She sounds like the kind of person who shouldn't have a maid but live in Australia where she has to do everything herself.

[nutnut]

OSOD, you cannot decide whether the OP needs a maid or not, if they can afford to employ staff here or in Australia or anywhere else for that matter, they can do so legally.

Likewise, with any staff, you should sack them if they don't perform well. Simples.

[offshoreoildude]

Maids here are just a little step above being slaves. They're pretty close to being indentured labour. The maid levy is an tax on their wages and as such they are the most heavily taxed sector in Singapore (over 50%). Good on the OP's maid for giving her owner shit. There should be more of them doing it.

[nutnut]

So, the ones that choose to be here and work here, are they slaves? what about those who sell tissues at hawker centres and curry Puffs at MRT stations.

Surely it depends on the employer and how the staff are treated? Often the money goes to the families and is far in advance of what the worker could earn in their home country with a professional degree.

[v4jr4]

Sometimes, it depends. I've read and watched several unfortunate maids (some of them are even killed by the employer), in which, I can only say "Sh*t happens." If the employer shows a little bit of weakness, again, it depends on the helper. To screw, or not to screw. Not only in Singapore.

PS: the news about unfortunate maids are pretty common in Jakarta. I can say that Singapore is pretty friendly compared to Middle East.

[movingtospore]

OP, I would be very cautious about leaving newborns with any maid in Singapore. But in particular the (usually) really poorly educated ones from Sri Lanka, Indonesia, Cambodia, etc. There are too many stories in Singapore of children dying in the maid's care. At best the helpers in SP are equipped to be babysitters - for short durations. They are not caregivers.

As one of the others said, the Filipinos tend to be better educated and their English is much better.

In any scenario - this person will be living in your home. So need to find someone you can have a compatible working relationship with and be honest with yourself about the types of people you like and don't like - rather than making it her fault. If you don't like how she talks back etc fair enough - but I think it's more fair to her to allow her to transfer to another employer, and find someone else that's a better fit.