Maid wants night outs!

[JR8]

It's really very simple.

99.999% of the world's population do not have servants.

So... don't hire any.


Easy duh?

[x9200]

JR8, that would be in principle fine but unfortunately in Singapore people assume you have a l-in maid. If you have kids, especially, school age kids, and both parents are working than good luck solving puzzles with getting the kids out or in the school.

[JR8]

Ok, well then:

I'd suggest that it is,

a) a flawed assumption
and
b) domestic staff are human rather than robots.


... hey, mebbe it's just me. Who knows.

[x9200]

Where do you see in SAHM's posts that she treated her maid like she was a robot? *

*) on a side note, my experience at least with the part time maids is that they should be treated like robots = you have to program everything because apparently the function "common sense" is not implemented by any local manufacturer.

[nakatago]

the function "common sense" is not implemented by any local manufacturer.

All automata here have that bug. Or rather a major and glaring design flaw.

It's like:

Code: Select all

U16 CommonSense() 
{
     // code redacted
     // see revision history starting 1965
}

[JR8]

Where do you see in SAHM's posts that she treated her maid like she was a robot? *

*) on a side note, my experience at least with the part time maids is that they should be treated like robots = you have to program everything because apparently the function "common sense" is not implemented by any local manufacturer.

Going 'volcanic' on her maid simply because she was chatting on her mobile when 'master' called.

Being taken 'on holiday' [i.e. to provide 24/7 childcare], and having the cheek to want to go out.

I expect the maid feels the injustice, and for that she is now apparently being punished (yet further).

[x9200]

Going 'volcanic' on her maid simply because she was chatting on her mobile when 'master' called.

I understood it was more about talking on her mobile when she supposed to care after the baby and because the maid lied to her.

Being taken 'on holiday' [i.e. to provide 24/7 childcare], and having the cheek to want to go out.

It sounded to me more neutral. Just a messages that she accompanied them on holiday and had no opportunity for going out what p*d her off.
I expect the maid feels the injustice, and for that she is now apparently being punished (yet further).

I guess I am twisted in the opposite direction because I see them all around mainly talking on the phone while "taking care" of children or "walking" dogs in the basement CP while sitting on a bench or other suitable place. I assume their are at work. I would rather contribute the OP problems to the maid with the problem than OP with a wrong attitude towards the maids.

[SAHM]

Just to clarify ... On the holiday she had a 24/7 internet connection on an iphone which i had given to her to stay connected with her friends & family via fb or skype. Secondly everyday 8pm she goes to her room & we dnt call her for any work.
Thirdly after giving a few interviews she has understood tht she doesnt wanna quit my jib anymore. I have not decided anything yet though!

JR8- i know all maids are ob their phone when the employer is not around but its the lie & the confidence with which she lied bothered me more! Moreover i dnt think by allowing night outs she wont feel robotic!

[movingtospore]

JR8, that would be in principle fine but unfortunately in Singapore people assume you have a l-in maid. If you have kids, especially, school age kids, and both parents are working than good luck solving puzzles with getting the kids out or in the school.

+1 Exactly.

[movingtospore]

Thanks everyone. We did stopped her night outs. She aslo went on a holiday with us. She was definitely not happy as she could not go out at nights. And after coming back from the holiday she started showing too much tantrums & would argue for anything I would say. She also said 'i am not used to not going out at nights as her previous expat employers do allow tht'!! Really!! Not that it matters!!

Anyways, one day She was alone with my baby & was obviously on the phone throughout. When i called her on her HP she didnt answer the call ( which she used to do quite often & always had an excuse). This time she told me she was busy putting my baby to bed.. Which was a big lie as i had seen her on the camera chatting on the phone. So after I came back I confronted her. And the unexpected happened!! The volcano errupted & she told me she will continue to be on her phone even when she is with my baby no matter someone is at home or not! And from there things blew out of proportion! I tried to explain to her calmly that 'its not only about ph but also lies & pls dnt do tht'. She packed up her stuff & wanted to leave. I had to involve agency! And by next evening she was normal & told me she wants to stay back, but will confirm by Sunday. I dint want hwr anymore though. Today she ame back & confirmed that she would like to be transfered too.

I really trusted this lady & had never imagined that it will take this route. I feel this was her plan coz before going on the holiday also she had blackmailed me about quitting! I am happy that she is quitting as I hate negativity in the house. Now its v difficult for me to trust someone again! For the time being I donot plan to enagage another full time maid soon.

There are still good ones around. This one you had - if she insists on nights out my bet is she was working the bars as a lady of the evening as they say.

Look for someone older, who has been working with expat families and while - perhaps their family is leaving. The second maid we hired is wonderful. (first was like yours and we ended up firing her)

[ecureilx]

There are still good ones around. This one you had - if she insists on nights out my bet is she was working the bars as a lady of the evening as they say.

or most likely has a few friends who work for expats and like to hang around bars - not for monetary gains .. a fair number do that ..

Look for someone older, who has been working with expat families and while - perhaps their family is leaving. The second maid we hired is wonderful. (first was like yours and we ended up firing her)

my 2 cents ? old doesn't mean she will not like to hang around bars


Then again, it is unfair to tar all with the same brush ..

[rajagainstthemachine]

shes giving you some cock and bull story and you are falling for it.
you should tell her that you are canceling her visa if she doesn't follow your instructions.

[bluenose]

Cut her already small salary.....ours is leaving after we did not renew her contract...she started to get interviews and wants early termination after being told she will finish at the end of her contract.....i told her...I will cut her salary and not fire her as she wishes......scheming,conniving, untrustworthy person......

[strokeheard]

Just wanted to clarify this:

She cannot work anywhere else except yuor house. UNLESS, she is caring for and cleaning up after your children at another location (i.e. cleaning up a kids mess at a friends house)

Furthermore, I echo the feelings of the other posters. Get rid, you obviously don't trust her, if that is the case, then why do you want her in your house anymore? I allow my maid to visit her friend who is employed as a nurse here from time to time (normally on a holiday and is very irregular) but, I trust her and she has never shown me any reason to distrust her! I suppose this is the important factor, she knows her rules and regulations and she sticks by them implicitly.

Also, a 2 week holiday, if you don't trust her, I'd send her home if not with you. Otherwise, you could end up with an empty home when you get back!

In summary - get rid!

That is not a big problem. You need to clear with your policies. Just ask her not to stay outside in nights otherwise leave the job. It is not that big problem