Maid wants night outs!

[SAHM]

I have engaged a maid for the past 6months & am generally happy with her. She is good with my baby & knows her work.

I pay her more than the market rate & 4 Sundays off.

The problem is that almost 2 Sundays in a month she doesn't want to return back at night & would SMS me saying that she wants to stay back at her sister's employer's house. Initially I didn't mind coz she gave me lots of emotional stories there. But now it's getting a bit beyond my tolerance level. So I decided to put my foot down & told her no more night outs! so she came back & asked me permission for 2 sunday night outs as she says some expats are engaging her for baby sitting & as part time maid. She keeps telling me that my previous employer also allowed night outs & keeps insisting on it. I am not sure if ppl really need baby sitting on Sunday nights! Moreover I have never met her sister ( and if I tell her that I wanna meet her sis, she always has an excuse). I am really confused.. Should I still retain her or just transfer her.
P.S- we want to take her along for our holidays in Dec & hence need to arrange her visa, so when I told her that I will be doing that... She sd she will get back to me in a day's time. Not sure what's cooking there.
Any suggestions will be helpful

[sundaymorningstaple]

If she is here on an WP she is not allowed to work anywhere EXCEPT your house. If caught she will be deported and you will be fined and banned from having a domestic worker. Sounds like she is moonlighting as a hooker to me. I'd say it is time to get rid of her.

[JR8]

I second what SMS says. I was going to say 'but you know this already don't you'... but apparently you do not.

[the lynx]

I have engaged a maid for the past 6months & am generally happy with her. She is good with my baby & knows her work.

I pay her more than the market rate & 4 Sundays off.

The problem is that almost 2 Sundays in a month she doesn't want to return back at night & would SMS me saying that she wants to stay back at her sister's employer's house. Initially I didn't mind coz she gave me lots of emotional stories there. But now it's getting a bit beyond my tolerance level. So I decided to put my foot down & told her no more night outs! so she came back & asked me permission for 2 sunday night outs as she says some expats are engaging her for baby sitting & as part time maid. She keeps telling me that my previous employer also allowed night outs & keeps insisting on it. I am not sure if ppl really need baby sitting on Sunday nights! Moreover I have never met her sister ( and if I tell her that I wanna meet her sis, she always has an excuse). I am really confused.. Should I still retain her or just transfer her.
P.S- we want to take her along for our holidays in Dec & hence need to arrange her visa, so when I told her that I will be doing that... She sd she will get back to me in a day's time. Not sure what's cooking there.
Any suggestions will be helpful

She is NOT supposed to do any other work for any other household except yours and YOURS alone.

Better get rid of her. Something smells fishy and if I were you, I don't want that near my baby.

[offshoreoildude]

10:1 she has a boyfriend. If she ends up pregnant you have a problem.

[sundaymorningstaple]

10:1 she has a boyfriend. If she ends up pregnant you have a problem.

Even if she doesn't end up pregnant, if she has a boyfriend, you could end up with your house cleaned out.

[nutnut]

Just wanted to clarify this:

She cannot work anywhere else except yuor house. UNLESS, she is caring for and cleaning up after your children at another location (i.e. cleaning up a kids mess at a friends house)

Furthermore, I echo the feelings of the other posters. Get rid, you obviously don't trust her, if that is the case, then why do you want her in your house anymore? I allow my maid to visit her friend who is employed as a nurse here from time to time (normally on a holiday and is very irregular) but, I trust her and she has never shown me any reason to distrust her! I suppose this is the important factor, she knows her rules and regulations and she sticks by them implicitly.

Also, a 2 week holiday, if you don't trust her, I'd send her home if not with you. Otherwise, you could end up with an empty home when you get back!

In summary - get rid!

[movingtospore]

We had one of those...initially we were suckers due to being newbies here. It seems harsh but if you have any inkling that something fishy is going on she needs to go.

[BillyB]

Does Singapore employment law allow maids to be chained up? Worth looking into........

[sundaymorningstaple]

S&M? You kinky devil, you!

[emicoti-sg]

Hi,
I think your helper is clearly taking advantage of you!!
First, she is NOT ALLOWED to work for any extra part-time or babysitting outside your house. Do not forget: if she get caught, you are responsible!
Each family has their own rules, but then again, she tells you she's going to her sister-in-law or friends' house. How do you know? Two of my friends had helpers who were going out to babysit much older children on Orchard, if you know what I mean...
My advise is: do not let her sleep the night out as it's not allowed (remind her the contract she signed with you). Tell her firmly that "nights out" are over and you do not want to talk about it anymore. If after you made your point she still comes to you and ask you again, then you might consider transferring her. Think about what she might be doing when you are not around... Do you really want to get into trouble because of your helper?

[SAHM]

Thanks everyone. We did stopped her night outs. She aslo went on a holiday with us. She was definitely not happy as she could not go out at nights. And after coming back from the holiday she started showing too much tantrums & would argue for anything I would say. She also said 'i am not used to not going out at nights as her previous expat employers do allow tht'!! Really!! Not that it matters!!

Anyways, one day She was alone with my baby & was obviously on the phone throughout. When i called her on her HP she didnt answer the call ( which she used to do quite often & always had an excuse). This time she told me she was busy putting my baby to bed.. Which was a big lie as i had seen her on the camera chatting on the phone. So after I came back I confronted her. And the unexpected happened!! The volcano errupted & she told me she will continue to be on her phone even when she is with my baby no matter someone is at home or not! And from there things blew out of proportion! I tried to explain to her calmly that 'its not only about ph but also lies & pls dnt do tht'. She packed up her stuff & wanted to leave. I had to involve agency! And by next evening she was normal & told me she wants to stay back, but will confirm by Sunday. I dint want hwr anymore though. Today she ame back & confirmed that she would like to be transfered too.

I really trusted this lady & had never imagined that it will take this route. I feel this was her plan coz before going on the holiday also she had blackmailed me about quitting! I am happy that she is quitting as I hate negativity in the house. Now its v difficult for me to trust someone again! For the time being I donot plan to enagage another full time maid soon.

[ecureilx]

... I dint want hwr anymore though. Today she ame back & confirmed that she would like to be transfered too.

many an employer, when they know the maid just played along for time, until the agent got a transfer employer, or an employer who fits her needs, will insist on cancelling the permit and repatriating the maid back home ....

it all depends upon how forgiving you are .. or how unsuspecting the next employer is ..

and any talk of cancelling the permit will show the true colours of the agency, if they are playing along with the maid or being true and fair - if they go on offensive to stop you from cancellation, most likely, they see the $ and not the hassle / headache you been through ..

[SAHM]

Finally she owned up & wants me to give a positive review to her next employer! Wow!

Reason of quitting- needs extra income through part time & night outs! And she knows I am not allowing that. It seems some expats are ok with it (sinecre request pls stop encouraging your maids from doing illegal activities).

Sometimes we know that something is just not right but keep on fighting with ourselves!

Anyways, i am not engaging a full time helper soon. These updates were just to share my experience.

[x9200]

I really trusted this lady & had never imagined that it will take this route. I feel this was her plan coz before going on the holiday also she had blackmailed me about quitting! I am happy that she is quitting as I hate negativity in the house. Now its v difficult for me to trust someone again! For the time being I donot plan to enagage another full time maid soon.

Expats, especially Western tends to have rather polarized view about the maids and see them mainly as victims of various form of abuse. They tend to forget that the ever popular cliche "maids are humans" means also something different so don't be surprised. We don't have a l-in maid but judging how difficult is to get a trustful and reliable part time maid I don't see any reason why it should be easy with the living in ones. It's in the human nature that people are opportunistic and abusive and the courtesy is often perceived as weakness that can and should be explored. Good luck with your next onbe.