SINGAPORE EXPATS FORUM
Singapore Expat Forum and Message Board for Expats in Singapore & Expatriates Relocating to Singapore
How do I stop becoming a cranky old grouch of an old man?
-
- Manager
- Posts: 1582
- Joined: Wed, 04 Jul 2012 9:45 pm
How do I stop becoming a cranky old grouch of an old man?
I'm only 47. But I can quite easily see myself becoming the grouch of the neighborhood or condo., if I aren't already. I suspect, it's due to the inevitable decline in testosterone, coupled with a growing sense of mortality, alongside the few disappointments life has brought (a bitter divorce that makes it hard to see my son as much as I'd like). I'm somewhat spiritual (a BAC), I try to exercise, I have a good job (too much travel though) and we are not at all strained financially.
Firstly - why resist becoming the old grouch? It seems a time honored tradition for western men at least. Would I rather be the eastern Guru mystic in my old age?
Any ideas? Any other men struggling with this? I KNOW my mid life crisis is over - that resulted in massive affair, a new sports car etc... so I need not worry about that. But what about the next 30 to 40 years? Is it just grouch-ville from now on?
Firstly - why resist becoming the old grouch? It seems a time honored tradition for western men at least. Would I rather be the eastern Guru mystic in my old age?
Any ideas? Any other men struggling with this? I KNOW my mid life crisis is over - that resulted in massive affair, a new sports car etc... so I need not worry about that. But what about the next 30 to 40 years? Is it just grouch-ville from now on?
Now I'm called PNGMK
- sundaymorningstaple
- Moderator
- Posts: 39771
- Joined: Thu, 11 Nov 2004 1:26 pm
- Location: Retired on the Little Red Dot
Maybe you have passed your use-by day in Asia. I've said this periodically on my 7 years here on this board. I know I have, but I'm still fulfilling obligations here that require my physical presence, so at 65 I'm still a working stiff in Singapore. Add to that, I'm really starting to dread returning the the US thanks a great deal to the past dozen years of whats happening there. I'm between a rock & a hard place and at 65 it's not a good place to be. You can still have another career in virtually any area you want to go. You just need to "Just do it!" as Nike would say.
I changed careers at 48 by the way. I give up commercial oilfield diving and took up PR and became a Headhunter and HR / Finance Manager of a 200+ man SME here, albeit on local terms.
I changed careers at 48 by the way. I give up commercial oilfield diving and took up PR and became a Headhunter and HR / Finance Manager of a 200+ man SME here, albeit on local terms.
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers
-
- Manager
- Posts: 1582
- Joined: Wed, 04 Jul 2012 9:45 pm
I've changed careers several times.... from being EEE to the oilfield and somewhere in between a few other things. I don't think it's work that's the issue somehow. I need to find my dream, however like you I too have an obligation that keeps us in Singapore. And yes; there is a useby date for expats in Asia.
Now I'm called PNGMK
-
- Regular
- Posts: 84
- Joined: Fri, 27 Jan 2012 7:38 pm
- Location: Boon Keng
- ScoobyDoes
- Manager
- Posts: 1667
- Joined: Wed, 29 Nov 2006 6:42 pm
- Location: A More Lucky Spot
Re: How do I stop becoming a cranky old grouch of an old man
offshoreoildude wrote: Firstly - why resist becoming the old grouch? It seems a time honored tradition for western men at least. Would I rather be the eastern Guru mystic in my old age?
How to stop?
Mate, that boat already sailed.
'When Lewis Hamilton wins a race he has to thank Vodafone whereas in my day I used to chase the crumpet. I know which era I'd rather race in.'
SIR Stirling Moss OBE
SIR Stirling Moss OBE
-
- Manager
- Posts: 1582
- Joined: Wed, 04 Jul 2012 9:45 pm
- Strong Eagle
- Moderator
- Posts: 11504
- Joined: Sat, 10 Jul 2004 12:13 am
- Location: Off The Red Dot
- Contact:
Re: How do I stop becoming a cranky old grouch of an old man
You want to be a grouch? Don't resist. Go with the flow. If you ever get to the US, you'll be a Republican... whining (US), whinging (UK) about everything.offshoreoildude wrote:Firstly - why resist becoming the old grouch?
Choices are simple. You can grow old... and at age 47, I judge you have reached this place prematurely... or you can grow to be an elder.
What's the difference? You grow old when you focus inwardly... on how the world treats you, instead of how you treat the world. The world can be viewed as a f*cked place, because, in many ways, it is exactly that. As a grouch, you can find 10,000 shining examples of why your position is justified.
But if you don't want to be a grouch, then the answer lies in how you choose to treat the world. How will you take your skills to make things better? How will you reveal about you that makes life better for others? What is your accountability to something other than yourself? It's hard to be a grouch when you are working towards making things better.
SMS posits that he is a grouch... but the reality is that he has chosen to participate in his life, and those around him... witness the many activities he is involved with in his community.
Me... I am a Warrior... I create community with others so that I can avoid being a grouch... because... grouches are inwardly focused.
http://forum.singaporeexpats.com/ftopic90518.html
-
- Manager
- Posts: 1988
- Joined: Sat, 20 Aug 2005 5:01 pm
Every now and then we all need a break from life, the daily grind. This year I took over a month's break from my husband and elementary age kids. I hired a babysitter to take care of them. I went back to live with my sister and did solo traveling in Asia. It does wonders for me and helps improve my relationships with those close to me, and the world in general. It allows me to re-orientate myself. Life is so much more than our immediate roles e.g. as a parent, care giver, spouse. There is so much out there, just waiting for our engagement. I enjoyed reading the following article.
http://sweepingzen.com/giving-til-it-doesnt-hurt
http://sweepingzen.com/giving-til-it-doesnt-hurt
Re: How do I stop becoming a cranky old grouch of an old man
I don't know about the others but for me, your residual image as they would say it in Matrix is of somebody 65-70 so I am really surprised you are that young. In that sense you have probably already achieved some level of grumpiness and other necessary qualities.offshoreoildude wrote:I'm only 47. But I can quite easily see myself becoming the grouch of the neighborhood or condo., if I aren't already. I suspect, it's due to the inevitable decline in testosterone, coupled with a growing sense of mortality, alongside the few disappointments life has brought (a bitter divorce that makes it hard to see my son as much as I'd like). I'm somewhat spiritual (a BAC), I try to exercise, I have a good job (too much travel though) and we are not at all strained financially.
Firstly - why resist becoming the old grouch? It seems a time honored tradition for western men at least. Would I rather be the eastern Guru mystic in my old age?
Why does it bother you to become a grouch?
-
- Manager
- Posts: 1582
- Joined: Wed, 04 Jul 2012 9:45 pm
Thankyou for your considered response. I did take a month off recently which has made some difference - I took my mother back to Europe where she hadn't been for over 50 years. I too have become far more philanthropic in my old age as well. I agree that life should be more than just our immediate roles.earthfriendly wrote:Every now and then we all need a break from life, the daily grind. This year I took over a month's break from my husband and elementary age kids. I hired a babysitter to take care of them. I went back to live with my sister and did solo traveling in Asia. It does wonders for me and helps improve my relationships with those close to me, and the world in general. It allows me to re-orientate myself. Life is so much more than our immediate roles e.g. as a parent, care giver, spouse. There is so much out there, just waiting for our engagement. I enjoyed reading the following article.
http://sweepingzen.com/giving-til-it-doesnt-hurt
Now I'm called PNGMK
Just saw this thread now and thought, hmmm, while some may have been tongue in cheek, there is something to this.
While I wouldn't consider myself a grouch, the necessity of using anger and confrontation over the years here to get the simplest things done or to make people stop and think before responding with the obvious has had an effect on me, and I don't like it and don't identify with it. I wasn't like this before I got here and I don't think it's an age thing.
SE has a point, and expounds upon his point constructively in his extra-curricular activities.
We could consider getting a sub-group of the Eagles, a sort of Men Of A Certain Age group, together.
While I wouldn't consider myself a grouch, the necessity of using anger and confrontation over the years here to get the simplest things done or to make people stop and think before responding with the obvious has had an effect on me, and I don't like it and don't identify with it. I wasn't like this before I got here and I don't think it's an age thing.
SE has a point, and expounds upon his point constructively in his extra-curricular activities.
We could consider getting a sub-group of the Eagles, a sort of Men Of A Certain Age group, together.
Brah: >>>We could consider getting a sub-group of the Eagles, a sort of Men Of A Certain Age group, together.
A SGn version of Last of the Summer Wine*
(*The longest running sitcom in the world, centred on the antics of 3 retirees permanently at a loose end. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Last_of_the_summer_wine)
A SGn version of Last of the Summer Wine*

(*The longest running sitcom in the world, centred on the antics of 3 retirees permanently at a loose end. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Last_of_the_summer_wine)
- sundaymorningstaple
- Moderator
- Posts: 39771
- Joined: Thu, 11 Nov 2004 1:26 pm
- Location: Retired on the Little Red Dot
- nakatago
- Moderator
- Posts: 8358
- Joined: Tue, 01 Sep 2009 11:23 pm
- Location: Sister Margaret’s School for Wayward Children
So, are we gonna pitch this to a network? Is that aspiring TV writer Scot still around?JR8 wrote:Brah: >>>We could consider getting a sub-group of the Eagles, a sort of Men Of A Certain Age group, together.
A SGn version of Last of the Summer Wine*![]()
(*The longest running sitcom in the world, centred on the antics of 3 retirees permanently at a loose end. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Last_of_the_summer_wine)
"A quokka is what would happen if there was an anime about kangaroos."
-
- Reporter
- Posts: 699
- Joined: Thu, 23 Jul 2009 2:14 am
Tho' I am not that old (yet) I also find myself turning into someone I often don't like since I moved here. It's true - the constant daily battles just to get stuff done in SP startsto shape how you interact with the world. And not in a good way. I am trying to seek out people, places and things that I actually like in SP. It's not easy, but it helps. I would love to be able to flee the place 4x year but that's just not possible - so, try to take a deep breath and make the best of it.Brah wrote:Just saw this thread now and thought, hmmm, while some may have been tongue in cheek, there is something to this.
While I wouldn't consider myself a grouch, the necessity of using anger and confrontation over the years here to get the simplest things done or to make people stop and think before responding with the obvious has had an effect on me, and I don't like it and don't identify with it. I wasn't like this before I got here and I don't think it's an age thing.
SE has a point, and expounds upon his point constructively in his extra-curricular activities.
We could consider getting a sub-group of the Eagles, a sort of Men Of A Certain Age group, together.
-
- Similar Topics
- Replies
- Views
- Last post
-
- 0 Replies
- 2072 Views
-
Last post by Pal
Thu, 13 Sep 2018 8:31 am
-
-
Being Singapore born is becoming extinct...holding at 60% now
by PNGMK » Fri, 28 Sep 2018 11:58 pm » in PR, Citizenship, Passes & Visas for Foreigners - 2 Replies
- 2016 Views
-
Last post by PNGMK
Sun, 30 Sep 2018 7:53 pm
-
-
- 2 Replies
- 1196 Views
-
Last post by Lisafuller
Sat, 12 Jun 2021 9:42 pm
-
-
Can I request ICA to stop mistress entering to Singapore?
by foradv » Fri, 18 Jan 2019 2:41 pm » in Staying, Living in Singapore - 2 Replies
- 5494 Views
-
Last post by PNGMK
Fri, 18 Jan 2019 8:59 pm
-
-
-
Need help for one-stop property management service
by NicoleYoong » Mon, 20 Jan 2020 12:51 pm » in Property Talk, Housing & Rental - 0 Replies
- 1113 Views
-
Last post by NicoleYoong
Mon, 20 Jan 2020 12:51 pm
-
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 21 guests