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by Lea » Tue, 14 Dec 2004 1:51 pm
Thank you for these words. I have spent a lot of time working on myself, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. But a series of traumatic events one after another have left me hardened and disillusioned. I espoused forgiveness often before... but over the past two years after so many disappointments and betrayals personally and professionally, i am spent! Doggone tired! Ive read books after books on anger, resentment and forgiving and my heart is hard and i find it so hard to reconcile with people who have hurt me.
I always was the first to ask for forgiveness and i was always to go and make up and to forgive even when forgiveness was not asked for. I think one of the things is that the guilty party should ASK for forgiveness and not just say"I'm sorry". Sorry for what? They should be specific about what they are sorry for, they should be aware of what they did. Its not for the wronged party to say u did this or that? Its important that the guilty person says what he or she did. Recently an old boyfriend sent me a message saying he was sorry. Not a word about, WHY he was sorry,just sorry. I had so much to tell him and so much to vent at him but i didnt, i just ignored his message. And there are so many other people who have hurt me and of course i have stopped being a victim, i no longer allow people to treat me badly but there ARE those remnants... unfinished business. Its up to them to realise that they have hurt me and if they dont and go to their deaths never apologising, thats fine with me.
[quote="wise"][align=center]Forgiveness, True Forgiveness.[/align]
In this world there are plenty of ways to make mistakes. You can trip over your own feet, or trip over someone elses. You can lie to people, or you can lie to yourself. You can hurt others, or you can agonize you. It would seem, any mistakes that one might make affect others, but are we aware of how they affect ourselves? It’s important to remember that one must forgive one’s self at times. Or else you may find yourself continuously beating yourself up for things that happened a long time ago. You may find that you have regrets.
When someone does something that you may perceive to be wrong, first notice the feelings that are created within you. Take a deep breath and watch the emotions. Notice anger, sadness, resentment... The reason you want to watch them is to understand why they exist. Once you understand why they are there, you no longer feel their persuasion. Then, communicate to the person why you perceive this ‘something’ as wrong, communicate the emotions created within you. Let them know how they have spit your being and created unbalance within you. Then, forgiveness.
A wise man once said, “I know I can really help people, I just can’t do it with myself.”