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Kiasu

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pault
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Kiasu

Postby pault » Wed, 18 Jul 2012 1:15 pm

hello everyone,

I wanted to share an experience I had the other day when in a shopping mall. My son was playing on a coin operated car and I went to try to get a dollar coin so it would work. I failed in this endeavour and on arriving back at the car found a woman with her two sons crawling all over the car and pushing my son out ! I was quite shocked at her and her children's lack of manners and made this clear though she just started talking on her mobile phone. It is no the first time I have encountered this attitude which I believe is known as kiasu (fear of losing) mentality but it really irritates me and is without doubt one of the worst aspects of living in Singapore which is otherwise a great place to settle. I have met many locals in Singapore and most of them are really wonderful people but when encountering this kiasu attitude it makes me wonder what drives this kind of attitude to life and others.

I have always been brought up to be polite and well mannered and try yo bring my son up this way. I also feel that I am fortunate in that I have a good job etc and never look down on people less forutnate than myself or think I am more important than anyone else simply because i may have more money but in Singapore I sense that the pursuit of wealth and material success is everything and may drive the kiasu attitude. Some of the best people I have met in singapore have been the taxi drivers , cleaners, security guards etc who have a great attitude despite a pretty tough life but not a kiasu bone in their body.

I worry for Singapore if this pursuit of wealth and material belongings (BMW, condo etc) becomes pervasive as it means the whole society becomes oriented around money and success which cannot be right. I know other countries suffer more and more from this as well but it seems a shame as Singapore particularly has so many great values and has overcome great hardship to become a small but wonderful nation.

I am interested to hear other thoughts and experiences on this.
thanks

paul

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Wed, 18 Jul 2012 1:27 pm

Just do a search using the excellent search function just under the profile link at the upper right side of the page. The topic has been done to death. Some things you cannot change. You learn to accept it, ignore it, or leave it. Welcome to Singapore and Singaporeans (generally speaking as not all are like that - I think I met one a couple of years ago who wasn't like that). :wink:

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Re: Kiasu

Postby x9200 » Wed, 18 Jul 2012 3:05 pm

pault wrote:hello everyone,

I wanted to share an experience I had the other day when in a shopping mall. My son was playing on a coin operated car and I went to try to get a dollar coin so it would work. I failed in this endeavour and on arriving back at the car found a woman with her two sons crawling all over the car and pushing my son out ! I was quite shocked at her and her children's lack of manners and made this clear though she just started talking on her mobile phone. It is no the first time I have encountered this attitude which I believe is known as kiasu (fear of losing) mentality but it really irritates me and is without doubt one of the worst aspects of living in Singapore which is otherwise a great place to settle. I have met many locals in Singapore and most of them are really wonderful people but when encountering this kiasu attitude it makes me wonder what drives this kind of attitude to life and others.


It's a standard behaviour. I have it even recorded. They did not dare to push my son but had no problem of any sorts to join him in the car or a boat or whatever. It is a bit difficult situation because any action would cause the other kid to be punished for the behavior of his or her parents but pushing the way in in expense of your son already moves it all to a different category.

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Postby v4jr4 » Wed, 18 Jul 2012 6:51 pm

Well, kiasu-ism is not an exclusive thing. I come from Indonesia, and I know some kiasu Indonesians as well. I will always think that this is Singapore, the gate for all people in the world. We can copy an accent, we can learn to behave, or learn something bad. But to make a direct link between Singaporean and kiasu-ism, imo, it's too "general".

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Postby v4jr4 » Wed, 18 Jul 2012 6:53 pm

sundaymorningstaple wrote:Just do a search using the excellent search function just under the profile link at the upper right side of the page. The topic has been done to death.


The word "kiasu" returns too many results :P

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Postby JR8 » Wed, 18 Jul 2012 7:48 pm

v4jr4 wrote: But to make a direct link between Singaporean and kiasu-ism, imo, it's too "general".



The only SGn cuisine restaurant I know of in the UK is called Kiasu. (Oh hang on that got closed for extreme breach of food hygiene regs, eg dish of sweet and sour sauce with added dead mouse).

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Wed, 18 Jul 2012 11:01 pm

v4jr4 wrote:
sundaymorningstaple wrote:Just do a search using the excellent search function just under the profile link at the upper right side of the page. The topic has been done to death.


The word "kiasu" returns too many results :P


I did say " The topic has been done to death." :lol:

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Re: Kiasu

Postby IOP » Thu, 19 Jul 2012 9:56 pm

pault wrote:hello everyone,

....
I worry for Singapore if this pursuit of wealth and material belongings (BMW, condo etc) becomes pervasive as it means the whole society becomes oriented around money and success which cannot be right. I know other countries suffer more and more from this as well but it seems a shame as Singapore particularly has so many great values and has overcome great hardship to become a small but wonderful nation.

I am interested to hear other thoughts and experiences on this.


Paul,

People may be polite just because it may give them more income.
Asia - lots of people, little natural resources. Hence, competition here means "life or death".
I'm considering to move out of Asia soon: I can't live in this culture for a long time and I don't like this climate.

i.e. consider not to blame, but to regret.

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Re: Kiasu

Postby v4jr4 » Thu, 19 Jul 2012 11:29 pm

IOP wrote:I'm considering to move out of Asia soon: I can't live in this culture for a long time and I don't like this climate.


Speaking of which, I still find Singapore is much better if I compare it with Jakarta :P

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Re: Kiasu

Postby ryce » Fri, 20 Jul 2012 12:10 am

pault wrote:makes me wonder what drives this kind of attitude to life and others.


PAP. not everyone are like that, but those who are are really annoying.

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Re: Kiasu

Postby sundaymorningstaple » Fri, 20 Jul 2012 6:50 am

ryce wrote:
pault wrote:makes me wonder what drives this kind of attitude to life and others.


PAP. not everyone are like that, but those who are are really annoying.


That's BS. Those in the Wayang Party are just as bad. It isn't the PAP it the inbreeding and depleted gene pool that's the problem.

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Postby bluenose » Fri, 20 Jul 2012 8:02 am

They breed greed here! :wink:

It is a country made up like a large company with all the backstabbers you have a large company....you have them in society here....driving, attitudes, greed.....anything to get above the next man.....even bullying the kids into carrying out education to a standard they are not capable of to the point of suicide.....

Either accept it and carry on or leave....
I try to be an example to my kids as too late to be an example to many other kids as they are already brainwashed beyond help :cry:

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Postby sensei_ » Fri, 20 Jul 2012 8:25 am

like ive said previously, singaporeans are a lost cause. the kisuism and general "me me me" attitude has taken over.

having said all that, there are nice people just the the majority tend to be general pricks, and after awhile you question yourself as to why are you trying to be a nice person

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Postby the lynx » Fri, 20 Jul 2012 9:09 am

sensei_ wrote:like ive said previously, singaporeans are a lost cause. the kisuism and general "me me me" attitude has taken over.

having said all that, there are nice people just the the majority tend to be general pricks, and after awhile you question yourself as to why are you trying to be a nice person


Yes the majority of them who are just plain DBs really have that ingrained in them but why stop being nice? These people are being DBs because they either learn not to be nice or already gave up being nice. So do not be part of them eventually.

No matter how much I hate them for that, I won't give up being nice generally. After all, not all of them are like that and who knows, you're helping the nice ones too :)

I may sound naive or idealist but general kindness and manners is not something you can bargain or barter on, it is an obligation, no matter what.

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Postby Saint » Fri, 20 Jul 2012 9:25 am

Oh great, yet another Singaporean bashing thread :roll:


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