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Considering Singapore - How is the Social life and dating?
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In my 20 years of experience in Singapore all I can add is that it is far easier to date a none Singaporean woman in Singapore than a true blue local gal. You may also find the local Indian / Malay and Eurasian gals a little less price sensitive to your material wealth compared to the Chinese Singaporean gals.
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To add to what has has been said about Singaporean women, living here for a few years has brought home to me how important it is, as a heterosexual man, to have opportunities for harmless flirtation, even if by way of nothing more than the occasional glance of casual interest from an attractive stranger - and Singapore is the only place where I receive practically none of these from single women. I'm happily married in my late thirties, but some eye-contact or other acknowledgment of my existence would be nice, to the level that it is normal and expected everywhere else, such as China, Viet Nam, and Australia. Admittedly I don't bother much about my appearance, and usually have long-ish uncombed hair with some stubble, but am youthful and good-looking in the eyes of Asian women elsewhere, keep in shape, and can talk well enough with women from other places - but not Singaporean women, who won't give me the time of day. I don't want anything more than a glance now and then, to let me know I'm a person in their eyes, but the only glances I receive are from older people, of the "get a haircut" variety.
Is this normal here, or could it be that I'm frequenting the wrong parts of the island? Is it such a materialistic culture, even compared with China, that a healthy young-ish man goes completely ignored unless he's obviously wealthy? My pessimism as to the treatment I expect from many locals probably does by now show in my face.
Is this normal here, or could it be that I'm frequenting the wrong parts of the island? Is it such a materialistic culture, even compared with China, that a healthy young-ish man goes completely ignored unless he's obviously wealthy? My pessimism as to the treatment I expect from many locals probably does by now show in my face.
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Are you dark skinned? The racism and bigotry towards certain skin colors and appearance types is outrageous in Singapore.somecleaningproducts wrote:To add to what has has been said about Singaporean women, living here for a few years has brought home to me how important it is, as a heterosexual man, to have opportunities for harmless flirtation, even if by way of nothing more than the occasional glance of casual interest from an attractive stranger - and Singapore is the only place where I receive practically none of these from single women. I'm happily married in my late thirties, but some eye-contact or other acknowledgment of my existence would be nice, to the level that it is normal and expected everywhere else, such as China, Viet Nam, and Australia. Admittedly I don't bother much about my appearance, and usually have long-ish uncombed hair with some stubble, but am youthful and good-looking in the eyes of Asian women elsewhere, keep in shape, and can talk well enough with women from other places - but not Singaporean women, who won't give me the time of day. I don't want anything more than a glance now and then, to let me know I'm a person in their eyes, but the only glances I receive are from older people, of the "get a haircut" variety.
Is this normal here, or could it be that I'm frequenting the wrong parts of the island? Is it such a materialistic culture, even compared with China, that a healthy young-ish man goes completely ignored unless he's obviously wealthy? My pessimism as to the treatment I expect from many locals probably does by now show in my face.
- sundaymorningstaple
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You can be as fit as a fiddle, and still be a slob. Nobody wants to be seen with a slob. Especially if you have nasal hair....
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers
It's understandable if materialistic culture takes a deep root in some of the Asian countries, but it's not only because of the current living expenses, but also (from my own experience) from the pressure of the previous generations (or should I include ancestors with financial problems as well?). But let's be fair. Not all of them will chase out the moneysomecleaningproducts wrote:To add to what has has been said about Singaporean women, living here for a few years has brought home to me how important it is, as a heterosexual man, to have opportunities for harmless flirtation, even if by way of nothing more than the occasional glance of casual interest from an attractive stranger - and Singapore is the only place where I receive practically none of these from single women. I'm happily married in my late thirties, but some eye-contact or other acknowledgment of my existence would be nice, to the level that it is normal and expected everywhere else, such as China, Viet Nam, and Australia. Admittedly I don't bother much about my appearance, and usually have long-ish uncombed hair with some stubble, but am youthful and good-looking in the eyes of Asian women elsewhere, keep in shape, and can talk well enough with women from other places - but not Singaporean women, who won't give me the time of day. I don't want anything more than a glance now and then, to let me know I'm a person in their eyes, but the only glances I receive are from older people, of the "get a haircut" variety.
Is this normal here, or could it be that I'm frequenting the wrong parts of the island? Is it such a materialistic culture, even compared with China, that a healthy young-ish man goes completely ignored unless he's obviously wealthy? My pessimism as to the treatment I expect from many locals probably does by now show in my face.

OOT: when you mentioned "I receive are from older people, of the "get a haircut" variety", I couldn't resist but to think that you have dreadlocks. Sorry

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I'm white-skinned and my hair that's long and wavy isn't of the nasal variety; but I'd be too lazy to get dreadlocks, which perhaps sums up my problem. But in Western countries a slightly style-less chap, particularly if he looks a bit different or grungy, can be accepted by people from almost all walks of life - not so here, it seems, where exoticism and other attributes don't get you past the door unless you have money and obviously so. This leaves me feeling somewhat alienated in general, but I can't be the only one (ironically enough), and a fair number of foreigners must leave this place with a sour taste in the mouth. Singapore might not be unique in this regard, but I feel it's more than just a case of "horses for courses." It's probably normal for foreigners to be viewed almost entirely in terms of what they can do for the economy rather than as sources of knowledge, experience, and novel perspectives, but other places make up for that by showing newcomers some warmth and interest (to a point).
But I'm straying too far from the original topic (and I'm not completely down on the place).
But I'm straying too far from the original topic (and I'm not completely down on the place).
IMO, on the contrary, expats (the non transient/cheap foreign workers) tend to be "popular" in the eye of Asians (unless he/she believes that money keep themselves alive, not love).somecleaningproducts wrote:I'm white-skinned and my hair that's long and wavy isn't of the nasal variety; but I'd be too lazy to get dreadlocks, which perhaps sums up my problem. But in Western countries a slightly style-less chap, particularly if he looks a bit different or grungy, can be accepted by people from almost all walks of life - not so here, it seems, where exoticism and other attributes don't get you past the door unless you have money and obviously so. This leaves me feeling somewhat alienated in general, but I can't be the only one (ironically enough), and a fair number of foreigners must leave this place with a sour taste in the mouth. Singapore might not be unique in this regard, but I feel it's more than just a case of "horses for courses." It's probably normal for foreigners to be viewed almost entirely in terms of what they can do for the economy rather than as sources of knowledge, experience, and novel perspectives, but other places make up for that by showing newcomers some warmth and interest (to a point).
But I'm straying too far from the original topic (and I'm not completely down on the place).
*I apologize to the Eagles fans out there

Probably.
I wasn't going to, but I guess I will respond to this.
I'd actually have to concur with it.
But if I were the OP I wouldn't take it personal, I just think people here aren't wired for romance or romantic adventure, generally speaking. One of the first things I noticed was a lack of sexual sophistication, and I think that's the other half of the problem. Again, YMMV.
Oh, I got some alright, but nothing to write home about. If one were to actually write home about that.... And by saying that I'm really nothing special, it would happen to most sooner or later.
For what would be normal eyesight indications of interests, which works well in Western countries, here kiasu gets in the way in some cases, perhaps from not wanting to show interest and then be rejected, or having an overinflated sense of self and all that. I have seen many cases of this in clubs, the office, and through introductions, to others as well as to myself, with women looking for and/or in need of companionship.
Having said that I got picked up by nymphos on a few separate occasions so that's why I don't like to generalize.
Whatever the reason, it is just more toned down here. This place seems more geared to relationships as business arrangements where your balance sheet comes first, fun second.
Before settling down I dated a lot when I first got here, can't say it was all that good, but then again I was spoiled by the fun, abundance, and intellect of NY and Tokyo women. If that's not your experience on that point, well, that's just your experience and was not mine.
But even in Tokyo there is more of a challenge to eyesight-only relationship starters as that's not part of the culture and introductions are more important. Then again the woman I dated the longest, for many years (but am not saying exactly how long or I could get in the doghouse) I met because she smiled at me in an unmistakable gesture of invitation from across the room.
Good luck, report back with your progress.
I wasn't going to, but I guess I will respond to this.
I'd actually have to concur with it.
But if I were the OP I wouldn't take it personal, I just think people here aren't wired for romance or romantic adventure, generally speaking. One of the first things I noticed was a lack of sexual sophistication, and I think that's the other half of the problem. Again, YMMV.
Oh, I got some alright, but nothing to write home about. If one were to actually write home about that.... And by saying that I'm really nothing special, it would happen to most sooner or later.
For what would be normal eyesight indications of interests, which works well in Western countries, here kiasu gets in the way in some cases, perhaps from not wanting to show interest and then be rejected, or having an overinflated sense of self and all that. I have seen many cases of this in clubs, the office, and through introductions, to others as well as to myself, with women looking for and/or in need of companionship.
Having said that I got picked up by nymphos on a few separate occasions so that's why I don't like to generalize.
Whatever the reason, it is just more toned down here. This place seems more geared to relationships as business arrangements where your balance sheet comes first, fun second.
Before settling down I dated a lot when I first got here, can't say it was all that good, but then again I was spoiled by the fun, abundance, and intellect of NY and Tokyo women. If that's not your experience on that point, well, that's just your experience and was not mine.
But even in Tokyo there is more of a challenge to eyesight-only relationship starters as that's not part of the culture and introductions are more important. Then again the woman I dated the longest, for many years (but am not saying exactly how long or I could get in the doghouse) I met because she smiled at me in an unmistakable gesture of invitation from across the room.
Good luck, report back with your progress.
somecleaningproducts wrote:To add to what has has been said about Singaporean women, living here for a few years has brought home to me.....the occasional glance of casual interest from an attractive stranger - and Singapore is the only place where I receive practically none of these from single women....who won't give me the time of day.
Is this normal here...?
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