Thanks for the apology, it's received with thanks. In regards to your situation, it will be difficult, don't expect to be greeted with open arms by the country, it could be the case they are interested in having you here, although, it could be difficult to bring your husband in, so bear that in mind. No one on the forum is (as far as I know) aligned to the government so much that we can offer you absolute advice, the collective knowledge has been built over years of experience in many different job sectors and personal positions as well as our reading and contributing to the forum here, so be understanding that there will be a minority of those willing to contribute who are in the same situation, but, you may just get it.
As SMS says, almost all the regulars are a hardened bunch, we have seen the fleeting newcomers demanding information, soliciting for private messages to find out additional information and seen people come - take - and leave without giving back, also deleting original posts so people in similar situations don't even have the chance to benefit from their findings.
No one is paid to give you advice, nor are they obliged to do so by any authority other than their own kindness. You would do well to keep this in mind when asking questions, it may explain what you are currently seeing in response to your sharp messages, we don't know you, all we see is what you write in the forum, we don't owe you (or anyone else new) anything, if you weren't here then we would just function as we are, but, we are helpful people who give to people who ask politely.
You know what they say, ask a silly question, expect a silly answer! We can have a twisted sense of humour (some of us) sometimes.
Oh and in regards to homophobia, I agree with SMS, I think you won't find anyone homophobic on this forum, we are all (mainly) intelligent folk, homophobia tends to be the trait of stupid people. You should get over yourself, you can't be so sensitive in Singapore, there will be locals who will be a lot more blunt than anyone here and if you can't deal with it then maybe this ain't the right place for you.