Wives who lunch - Is this normal or Expat only?

carteki · Post by **carteki** » Sat, 12 May 2012 6:20 pm

I've been traveling for work in another expat city and trying to connect some of the expats living here so that I have somewhere to go other than the hotel (safety is an issue so just going out by myself is not possible).

One of the ladies I connected with was a wife whose husband is working here and she invited me along to some of their events - but they all take place during office hours which means I can't attend them. It reminded me of when I first moved to Singapore and I joined the Saffer society to connect with people. The person who ran the society took offence that I thought in reality it should be called "the trailing wives of south african husbands who work club" because all their events happened during office hours. She thought that 1 pub night a month and 3 weekend functions a year were sufficient to encompass the needs of the members that worked, while averaging one function a week during office hours for those who didn't work.
I experienced the same in Qatar where there is a definite distinction between women who work and those who stay at home (taking into account in South Africa where both parents work is the norm). Even at joint functions there is little interaction between the 2 camps.
Having lived most of my life in an expat enviroment I don't know if this is how "normal" people live. I know that singles complain that marrieds don't hang out with them and know that once there are children you are lucky to see your friends (if you don't happen to have kids).

Post by **x9200** » Sat, 12 May 2012 6:50 pm

Sounds like a norm. My wife was being invited to this kind of functions at the time she was in transition to her full time job. Another common denominator was probably living more downtown to create some critical wifey mass for the club.

QRM · Post by **QRM** » Sat, 12 May 2012 7:03 pm

Not forgetting the husbands who lunch? Bunch of us stay at home dads also meet up. Office hours means the places are not crowded and you can have that smug I don't work look. , Though the bloke versions tend to do more adventure sort of lunches, Golf, bike, boat trip etc.

poodlek · Post by **poodlek** » Sat, 12 May 2012 7:48 pm

That's normal for here I think, but definitely not normal in Canada. I don't think I've met any women not of retirement age who willingly stay home unless it is to care for the kids, or they work from home. In either case they're usually too busy to meet up regularly for lunches.
I attended a couple of these events here before my son was born but I didn't really enjoy the company very much. It was ok to stave off utter boredom, but only just ok.

Post by **sundaymorningstaple** » Sat, 12 May 2012 8:26 pm

Yeah, We're much better company!

poodlek · Post by **poodlek** » Sun, 13 May 2012 12:45 am

sundaymorningstaple wrote:Yeah, We're much better company!

You really are!

carteki · Post by **carteki** » Sun, 13 May 2012 2:15 am

poodlek wrote:
sundaymorningstaple wrote:Yeah, We're much better company!
You really are!

+1

Asian_Geekette · Post by **Asian_Geekette** » Sat, 19 May 2012 11:07 pm

carteki wrote:
poodlek wrote:
sundaymorningstaple wrote:Yeah, We're much better company!
You really are!
+1

+1

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Wives who lunch - Is this normal or Expat only?

Wives who lunch - Is this normal or Expat only?

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