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Difficult to look for friends here

Events and gatherings for the 30's Club
Jkim
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Difficult to look for friends here

Postby Jkim » Thu, 12 Apr 2012 10:44 am

How come it is so difficult to look for friends here, is it becos I am too old......?????!!!!

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nutnut
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Postby nutnut » Thu, 12 Apr 2012 11:26 am

How old are you?

What kind of friendship are you hoping to find, what challenges are you facing? Do you have interests you can pursue as part of a club? a lot of people in Singapore make friends through clubs, work and where they live. Also, the forum is an obvious place to try and make friends, I have inadvertently made a couple of friends on this forum!

Is it maybe because you are trying to be polite about it? just outright ask people to do stuff with you.

Good luck, don't give up
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Jkim
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Hi

Postby Jkim » Thu, 12 Apr 2012 11:32 am

Thank you. I am already 36...
Somemore I am not so keen in joing the activities as I do not know anybody, pretty shy to attend it myself....
I hope to find friends for shopping, movies, music and coffee....

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the lynx
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Re: Hi

Postby the lynx » Thu, 12 Apr 2012 11:52 am

Jkim wrote:Thank you. I am already 36...
Somemore I am not so keen in joing the activities as I do not know anybody, pretty shy to attend it myself....
I hope to find friends for shopping, movies, music and coffee....


There lies your problem my friend.

It always have to begin with the first step. The first step is always the hardest but it is the quickest. Just get over it and you will start making friends.

Trust me. I have done that, and met great people! :D

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nutnut
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Postby nutnut » Thu, 12 Apr 2012 11:52 am

If you don't go do activities, then you won't make friends to go do activities with, they are already there doing it!

Just pull your finger out, you're 36 not 6 and stop being shy, it's not endearing, it's pathetic.

The problem is not "it's difficult to make friends here" the problem is "it's difficult to make friends anywhere unless you get off your backside and do it, that applies to anywhere in the world, your home country the same"

I hope you understand I am not trying to be nasty. I'm about the same age as you and I understand that if I don't get up off my seat and go attend clubs/activities that I am interested in and ask people to be my friend then I'll not have any, you really need to come out of your shell, otherwise, you can't really complain about it!

Do you drink? If so try the WNDC and FNDC on here, they have weekly meet ups, they may even want to go to the cinema and shopping with you!

Again, good luck, you're not in Kansas any more Dorothy. :) ;)
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Jkim
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Hi

Postby Jkim » Thu, 12 Apr 2012 11:55 am

Thank you for the advice, I will stretch myself and join some activities...

Thanks.

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nutnut
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Postby nutnut » Thu, 12 Apr 2012 12:03 pm

Great stuff, you won't regret it! :)
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Re: Hi

Postby Nailah » Wed, 16 May 2012 7:19 pm

Jkim wrote:Somemore I am not so keen in joing the activities as I do not know anybody, pretty shy to attend it myself....


um... don't go out how to meet people? O_o

.

dojob1234
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Re: Hi

Postby dojob1234 » Thu, 17 May 2012 9:26 am

Nailah wrote:
Jkim wrote:Somemore I am not so keen in joing the activities as I do not know anybody, pretty shy to attend it myself....


um... don't go out how to meet people? O_o

.


Probably TS wish to know people online first... Before arranging and attending gathering/meet up... Cause if you join activities without knowing a person first, may feel awkward or being left out... Hence at least if you know someone online, at least when go out, even though others or most have neglect you, still got the 'online' friend there whom you can chat with...

I do feel for her, as I do attend outing that was being 'cast out' last time... One from this forum, and few from other forum... I will not mention the organiser and which outing is it... Not because I don't want to chat with them or mix with them... But they just 'ignored' me sometimes... Or probably not much topic to chat about with them....

Hence since then, I will only attend gathering/meeting if those I know does join... And common which I does for now, that to know some online first, and then go for small group meet up, before deciding in if joining for bigger group outing... :)

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Postby Nailah » Thu, 17 May 2012 11:08 am

Hmm... not much topics to talk about? Ok so how did other people came up with topics for any conversation? They think them up no?

If you find nothing interesting to talk about, perhaps you need put a few interesting things in your life first? Half the time it may because our life is boring - and that makes us boring people... Perhaps try and read, watch videos, surf the net, whatever... get information such as current affairs. This way you will have some topics to start a conversation next time no?

If anyone is not interested in your topics, that doesn't mean the next person wouldn't be. It also doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or anyone. Just different interest that's all. The problem here is not “don’t know what topics

Jkim
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HI

Postby Jkim » Thu, 24 May 2012 8:23 am

HI,

Actually dojob1234 said what I feared the most, being cast out nad do not know what to say....

So far I havent really join any activity, trying to find one suitable...

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Re: HI

Postby SGslinger » Thu, 24 May 2012 11:46 am

Jkim wrote:Actually dojob1234 said what I feared the most, being cast out nad do not know what to say....

So far I havent really join any activity, trying to find one suitable...


OK, so we've heard your ear-shattering whine and been slapped in the face with your soul-crushing insecurity.

Now what exactly is it that you want from us?

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sundaymorningstaple
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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Thu, 24 May 2012 12:30 pm

That'll definitely scare'em off fer sure! :shock:

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Joeyfishcat
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Postby Joeyfishcat » Fri, 25 May 2012 12:27 am

C'mon now...! Not everyone can go to an event on their own surrounded by complete strangers and know exactly what to say to get a good conversation going.
It took me a while to feel comfortable going to (and hosting) these events. It's worth it though, as I've met nearly all my present friends and acquaintance via this forum! Some have long left Singapore and I'm still in touch with them.
Admittedly, I've also been to a few meet-ups that weren't so great (those have been in the minority, fortunately). But you have a choice and can leave if it doesn't feel right to you. Why get self-conscious about what they think if you're never going to bump into them again?
So chin-up! Get out and get mingling! You've got nothing to lose (see below). :)
Jo.
In order to make an omelette, you have to break a few eggs :D

Jkim
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Hi

Postby Jkim » Fri, 08 Jun 2012 12:50 pm

Thanks. I will definitely some of the gatherings..


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