Thank

[Kushy]

Thank

[zzm9980]

I don't have good advice, except to see an attorney.

Where are you originally from? What about your wife? Is she also PR?

She always go out drinking and coming back morning . 6-7am 2-3per week

Any idea where or with who? Does she work? You think she's doing something illegal (I do) or would otherwise make her unsuited to be a mother?

[Kushy]

I don't have good advice, except to see an attorney.

Where are you originally from? What about your wife? Is she also PR?

She always go out drinking and coming back morning . 6-7am 2-3per week

Any idea where or with who? Does she work? You think she's doing something illegal (I do) or would otherwise make her unsuited to be a mother?

Thank you for reply.
I went to see lawer already and told me difficult case
Cos father will take care and control.
She is working at home and singaporean.
I found out, she went out disco lady bar.
Also she hv bf.

[farlene]

Hi Kushy,

I'm sorry to hear about your situation.

I hope I can be of some help.

how unfit is she as a mother? she may go out, have a bf and have drinks etc etc but that does not make her an unfit mother? How does she act when she's with your child? does she spend time with your child? bring your child out??

You say she scolds your child, does she ever hit your child? to the point where the child has to be brought into the hospital? If it's only verbal, it could be her way of discipline? (I could be very wrong please don't jump me... )

who maintains the child? Buys clothes, food, pays for education, medical bills etc etc. if she doesn't want you to have sole custody, care & control of the child you both could opt for joint custody. if it's all you, i suggest you keep all receipts/invoices and bring it with you when you see your lawyer.

are u 2 separated? you may live in the same flat / house but maintain 2 separate households i.e. you do your own thing and she does her own thing. Alot of people do this now, just make sure you do everything to maintain the child since it's the welfare of the child that is of upmost importance.

It looks like divorce may not be an issue here it's more the issue of custody, please correct me if i'm wrong.

If you can provide sufficient evidence against her to show that she's an unreasonable and unfit mother (i.e. not doing anything to maintain your child, you can do alot of things with the help of a GOOD lawyer and it's not difficult when you have a very GOOD lawyer.

Not all GOOD lawyers in SG are expensive.

Please do not hesitate to PM if you need a list of good family law lawyers. I would gladly help you out.

Far

[Kushy]

Thank you for warm advice

Still hvn't separate yet.
Cos i scar if i left this house, I hope not, she's targert will change to child.
Just why hvn't take action yet.
Money issue also have. Last time was joint account, she made hide money from our joint account (100k). So now I made new account.

Normally maid were take care my daughter. When I came back from work
She will come to me and like a stick together with me. Weekend I will bring out for shopping, zoo, science centre, bird park, and more.
And I will bring to tuition after go lunch, marketing.
Normally, she coming back morning and sleep until night.
She told me she do check her homework sometime bring her to library, more.
Because she work in home. She told "I always with her"
I can't say anything.
And I found she went to counseling with lawyer last week, so maybe she take action!?

[farlene]

Hi Kushy,

I'm just trying to help.

like i said, you don't have to move out of your flat to be separated.
perhaps seeing a lawyer would be best. the lawyer can explain the concept of 2 separate households better.

Since your wife has gone to see a lawyer, i suggest you do the same thing.

Please bring with you all evidence of all payments that you've made and are continuing to make.

Best of luck.

Farlene

[Kushy]

Hi
now I very tired and crazy. I'm looking for room to separete.
I feel no point to stay here, she hide everything. Like passport, birth certificate, receipt, bankbook, cheque, and more.

Yes, your suggest is collect, because one day she came back morning she told me, "how much you want? daughter will with me, sure I want" I told her
"u said don't want, I already record what you said" then she become crazy
Abuse, and violence. I also record it. Maybe I feel I got PTSD. I don't understand BPD people's action.
I think, lawyer will send letter soon.
My all evidence are only reference.
Not strong enough, agreement is power.
What to do?

[farlene]

I'm sorry to hear that...

please go see a lawyer and bring ALL evidence on her, for the sake of your child & of course your sanity. only the lawyer will know what you have on her will come in handy.

[Kushy]

Hi
It's okay. Because this is law. No choice.
But I feel not fair. And very sad

[sundaymorningstaple]

As one who has been married 3x, divorced twice and bankrupted after the first one, I can tell you this. Do what ever is necessary as soon as possible regardless of how sad or unfair you feel. Otherwise, you will be in even worse shape. Guaranteed.

In the words of Nike - Just do it!

[ecureilx]

I think, lawyer will send letter soon.
My all evidence are only reference.
Not strong enough, agreement is power.
What to do?

Having witnessed some divorce proceedings here, let me assure you, that, divorces are not granted so fast

You and your spouse will be called for few rounds of mediation before the judge accepts any lawyer's instructions

I was in one instance when the judge banished the lawyers, and cleared the room for the two parties + the judge only ..

as sundaymorningstaple says, prepare well

A friend who was working night shifts, fell asleep on the wheel, and his wife, years later, when she filed for divorce, implied that he was drunk on the wheel .. luckily my friend had located the police report that gave him a clean bill of health, re: alcohol, and that won him a lot of leeway ..

It can be scary, if you are not prepared ..

[Vaucluse]