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JoannaNYC
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Postby JoannaNYC » Mon, 12 Mar 2012 11:01 pm

All I want is to live quietly in a country with the person I love. I don't need or want to work and my partner will support us. This can be done and I will find a way to do it. I'm also a US citizen which should give me a step up as well.
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JR8
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Postby JR8 » Mon, 12 Mar 2012 11:05 pm

Your only hope is in trying to finesse the situation, as trying to bull-doze through it will categorically not work.

JoannaNYC
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Postby JoannaNYC » Mon, 12 Mar 2012 11:06 pm

I've done a lot of possible things. I have fought and worke for everything I have. I will do it for this an I will win. This will work. I have no desire to live with a rainbow flag aroun my head. I just want a quiet life with the person I love. If that takes a miracle to achieve, fine. I will fight for my rights and I will win.
J.N.

JoannaNYC
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Postby JoannaNYC » Mon, 12 Mar 2012 11:07 pm

I'm sure we aren't the only people with this issue. I'm sure a lot of people would benefit from what I'm trying to do.
J.N.

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sundaymorningstaple
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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Mon, 12 Mar 2012 11:13 pm

Don Quixote strikes again! :roll:

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Postby poodlek » Tue, 13 Mar 2012 12:02 am

Just a pragmatic question: why is it better for your partner to take this job in Singapore over staying in the USA? Can she not stay there with you? What about a third country?

One of the big reasons I'm here in Sg is because as a Canadian married to an American I ran into stumbling blocks getting a Green Card and there was little to no work in my husband's field in Canada. So we chose a third country. It seems to me you'd both be better off somewhere in Europe...but that's just my $0.02.

JoannaNYC
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Postby JoannaNYC » Tue, 13 Mar 2012 12:05 am

Zz
Last edited by JoannaNYC on Tue, 13 Mar 2012 9:07 am, edited 1 time in total.
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poodlek
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Postby poodlek » Tue, 13 Mar 2012 1:25 am

JoannaNYC wrote:It's a very good position. It's not really something you pass up. I support her career 100%. It's the best financial option. New York is my home city and she stayed here for me and it's my turn to give a little for her and she misses her home country.


I might add we went through 3 years of a long distance relationship before we could finally live together too. Your not getting to live in Singapore won't necessarily mean the end of your relationship. You're still young, if you're committed, you'll have many years together, and this Singapore posting may just be a small bump in the road. That's not to say you won't get in-but it may take more time than you think to change the attitudes here.

It's been said before, but I'll use different words. Tread carefully-chutzpah is not as highly regarded nor valued in Asia as it is in in the USA. There's this tricky thing known as "face" you'll need to navigate in order to achieve change.

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Postby zzm9980 » Tue, 13 Mar 2012 8:13 am

poodlek wrote:Just a pragmatic question: why is it better for your partner to take this job in Singapore over staying in the USA? Can she not stay there with you? What about a third country?

One of the big reasons I'm here in Sg is because as a Canadian married to an American I ran into stumbling blocks getting a Green Card and there was little to no work in my husband's field in Canada. So we chose a third country. It seems to me you'd both be better off somewhere in Europe...but that's just my $0.02.


This is one of the primary reasons I'm here also; my wife is Vietnamese and I'm American. US Immigration laws are even more backwards than Singaporean laws at times. Sure, our spouses will EVENTUALLY get in, but it can be years in some cases.

Luckily the work I do often sent me to Asia for months (how I met her), so moving here made economical sense.
Last edited by zzm9980 on Tue, 13 Mar 2012 8:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

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zzm9980
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Postby zzm9980 » Tue, 13 Mar 2012 8:15 am

JoannaNYC wrote:It's a very good position. It's not really something you pass up. I support her career 100%. It's the best financial option. New York is my home city and she stayed here for me and it's my turn to give a little for her and she misses her home country.


Well, I admire your determination and honestly wish you the best of luck. Please keep us updated, and don't dismiss SMS's advise too quickly. As much as setting a precedent would help similar people in your case in the future, you're more likely to get what you want by being subtle and treading carefully.

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Postby Mi Amigo » Tue, 13 Mar 2012 8:25 am

Joanna,

To follow on from zzm's comments above, some very wise advice has been provided here and you'd be well advised to take it on board. Your determination is genuinely admirable (and I mean that in a sincere, non-patronising way), but if you adopt an attitude like this, for example...

JoannaNYC wrote:I'm also a US citizen which should give me a step up as well.

... it will not help you in the long run.

poodlek's comments about 'face' are not trivial; I expect you already know about that from your partner and your previous visits here.

Again, good luck!
Be careful what you wish for

JoannaNYC
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Postby JoannaNYC » Tue, 13 Mar 2012 8:40 am

Thank you everyone. It's been eye-opening. I will keep you posted.


Thank You.
J.N.

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x9200
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Postby x9200 » Tue, 13 Mar 2012 12:23 pm

JoannaNYC wrote:I can work I just haven't found a lot of resources for mental health professionals. Apparently, that is hidden along with homosexuality.

Kind of, but it's getting better over recent years. You should be able to get a job but with your age you probably have zero experience and I am afraid this will very efficiently prevent you from getting any employment pass. Still why don't you try? Look for the state owned institutions, hospitals etc.

JoannaNYC
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Postby JoannaNYC » Tue, 13 Mar 2012 2:06 pm

Ive been employed here for two years. The country seems to be lacking in the psyhology department.
J.N.

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x9200
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Postby x9200 » Tue, 13 Mar 2012 2:53 pm

Not sure what is the psychology department and why do you need it to find a job. Two years is not much but at least you are not a fresh graduate.

What you need is to find an employer and this:
(after http://www.careercompass.gov.sg/Pages/O ... ctorID=106)

A Psychologist will require a recognised post-graduate degree in Psychology from the National University of Singapore (NUS), Nanyang Technological University (NTU), SIM University (UniSIM) or an accredited foreign tertiary institution.

A post-graduate degree in Applied Psychology and appropriate practical training are required to become a Registered Psychologist with the Singapore Psychological Society.


You may also want to read this:
http://www.mom.gov.sg/skills-training-a ... healthcare


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