First wedding, then baby's full month?

Discuss about life in Singapore. Ask about cost of living, housing, travel, etiquette & lifestyle. Share experience & advice with Singaporeans & expat staying in Singapore.
Post Reply
User avatar
nutnut
Manager
Manager
Posts: 1854
Joined: Thu, 24 Nov 2011 10:20 am
Location: The Mainland....

Post by nutnut » Thu, 02 Aug 2012 5:56 pm

the lynx wrote:
thismyvoice wrote:Amount depends on the venue, event, etc.

For baby's full month/ first year celebration in HDB/condo, $50 if you are going alone and $80 to $100 if family is invited. The alternative is to bring a gift for the baby.
Interestingly, the parents this time requested 'no gift please'. I presume that the only option left is money...
Take nothing then! Ang Bao = Gift right? I hate how people only invite folk to things so they get money, it's really greedy in my opinion! I invited the people to my wedding and folk bought us gifts, but if they hadn't then I would have been equally as happy they arrived!
nutnut

User avatar
JR8
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 16516
Joined: Wed, 24 Mar 2010 12:43 pm
Location: K. Puki Manis

Post by JR8 » Thu, 02 Aug 2012 6:19 pm

nutnut wrote: Take nothing then! Ang Bao = Gift right? I hate how people only invite folk to things so they get money, it's really greedy in my opinion! I invited the people to my wedding and folk bought us gifts, but if they hadn't then I would have been equally as happy they arrived!
Maybe you haven't followed some of the gifts discussion topics on the www's of the SG wedding magazines. It is a really $-spinning opportunity for some. You'll see couples going into paroxysms of terror that their wedding is not going to turn enough of a profit for them.


Ripe for parody actually!

User avatar
joop
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 1116
Joined: Wed, 23 Jul 2003 8:51 pm
Location: Singapore
Contact:

No gifts and money is best

Post by joop » Thu, 02 Aug 2012 6:28 pm

nutnut wrote:
the lynx wrote:
thismyvoice wrote:Amount depends on the venue, event, etc.

For baby's full month/ first year celebration in HDB/condo, $50 if you are going alone and $80 to $100 if family is invited. The alternative is to bring a gift for the baby.
Interestingly, the parents this time requested 'no gift please'. I presume that the only option left is money...
Take nothing then! Ang Bao = Gift right? I hate how people only invite folk to things so they get money, it's really greedy in my opinion! I invited the people to my wedding and folk bought us gifts, but if they hadn't then I would have been equally as happy they arrived!
+1
Singapore Expats

Home | Classifieds | Condo | Forum | Property
Image

User avatar
nutnut
Manager
Manager
Posts: 1854
Joined: Thu, 24 Nov 2011 10:20 am
Location: The Mainland....

Post by nutnut » Thu, 02 Aug 2012 8:04 pm

JR8 wrote:
nutnut wrote: Take nothing then! Ang Bao = Gift right? I hate how people only invite folk to things so they get money, it's really greedy in my opinion! I invited the people to my wedding and folk bought us gifts, but if they hadn't then I would have been equally as happy they arrived!
Maybe you haven't followed some of the gifts discussion topics on the www's of the SG wedding magazines. It is a really $-spinning opportunity for some. You'll see couples going into paroxysms of terror that their wedding is not going to turn enough of a profit for them.


Ripe for parody actually!
Ad this is why I don't go!
nutnut

User avatar
JR8
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 16516
Joined: Wed, 24 Mar 2010 12:43 pm
Location: K. Puki Manis

Post by JR8 » Thu, 02 Aug 2012 8:25 pm

Just read it at the time of my own wedding to explore venue options. And found some of the threads beyond surreal, some really mind-boggling insights into naked greed, so much so they had genuine comedic value!

User avatar
the lynx
Governor
Governor
Posts: 5274
Joined: Thu, 09 Dec 2010 6:29 pm
Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location:

Post by the lynx » Thu, 02 Aug 2012 10:37 pm

As much as we can complain about the nasty greed when it comes to angpow-giving, one cannot deny that the act of giving angpows for occasions is already an integral part of Chinese culture. And to pick on that tradition is akin to insulting a Chinese custom. So one has to be careful about this iffy part.

I believe if one were to disagree to the implied rate for 'being present' inside angpow, the most peaceful thing one can do is just to decline the invitation when you RSVP (and probably come with a token sum in angpow or a gift to compensate for 'absence').

If one really wants to attend, just suck it up and pay the implied rate then.

I will bear in mind to add something to the effect of "No angpow or gift, please. Your presence means much more to us" when I send invitations out for my own events. I'm not gonna stoop that low.

Note: I'm just telling the above to myself :P :P :P

User avatar
JR8
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 16516
Joined: Wed, 24 Mar 2010 12:43 pm
Location: K. Puki Manis

Post by JR8 » Thu, 02 Aug 2012 11:21 pm

the lynx wrote:As much as we can complain about the nasty greed when it comes to angpow-giving, one cannot deny that the act of giving angpows for occasions is already an integral part of Chinese culture.

Yep, I didn't suggest otherwise, but then so is stoning people to death in Saudi Arabia (:P).

And to pick on that tradition is akin to insulting a Chinese custom. So one has to be careful about this iffy part.

I'm not insulting it, I am just suggesting that in my opinion it is about as 'Show me the money!' as you can get. Consider it from the western perspective where most people would write up a wedding-list of gifts with which to set up their first home.

I believe if one were to disagree to the implied rate for 'being present' inside angpow, the most peaceful thing one can do is just to decline the invitation when you RSVP (and probably come with a token sum in angpow or a gift to compensate for 'absence').

But I never mentioned 'disagree' and the accepted rate. I was referring to brides-to-be in agonised contortions of what kind of profit they were going to turn on the day. It really seems like a blunt financial exercise. The flip side - and hence likely the foundation of my own perspective - is say like my parents who still have wedding gifts (physical ones) they received over 50 years ago and still enjoy them on a daily basis, and remember who gave them to them as well.


If one really wants to attend, just suck it up and pay the implied rate then.

I will bear in mind to add something to the effect of "No angpow or gift, please. Your presence means much more to us" when I send invitations out for my own events. I'm not gonna stoop that low.

Note: I'm just telling the above to myself :P :P :P

Come on, no need to be quite that accomodating! :wink:

User avatar
the lynx
Governor
Governor
Posts: 5274
Joined: Thu, 09 Dec 2010 6:29 pm
Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location:

Post by the lynx » Fri, 03 Aug 2012 8:44 am

JR8 wrote:
the lynx wrote:As much as we can complain about the nasty greed when it comes to angpow-giving, one cannot deny that the act of giving angpows for occasions is already an integral part of Chinese culture.

Yep, I didn't suggest otherwise, but then so is stoning people to death in Saudi Arabia (:P).

And to pick on that tradition is akin to insulting a Chinese custom. So one has to be careful about this iffy part.

I'm not insulting it, I am just suggesting that in my opinion it is about as 'Show me the money!' as you can get. Consider it from the western perspective where most people would write up a wedding-list of gifts with which to set up their first home.

I believe if one were to disagree to the implied rate for 'being present' inside angpow, the most peaceful thing one can do is just to decline the invitation when you RSVP (and probably come with a token sum in angpow or a gift to compensate for 'absence').

But I never mentioned 'disagree' and the accepted rate. I was referring to brides-to-be in agonised contortions of what kind of profit they were going to turn on the day. It really seems like a blunt financial exercise. The flip side - and hence likely the foundation of my own perspective - is say like my parents who still have wedding gifts (physical ones) they received over 50 years ago and still enjoy them on a daily basis, and remember who gave them to them as well.


If one really wants to attend, just suck it up and pay the implied rate then.

I will bear in mind to add something to the effect of "No angpow or gift, please. Your presence means much more to us" when I send invitations out for my own events. I'm not gonna stoop that low.

Note: I'm just telling the above to myself :P :P :P

Come on, no need to be quite that accomodating! :wink:
No JR8, I'm serious. It is like advising myself.

And I actually honestly and personally have issues with people who turn a supposedly wonderful occasion into a game of greed and 'face'. These people who smear the angpow tradition really disgust me. But the greed game itself has somehow unfortunately been canonised in so I believe the angpow tradition itself has become a lost cause to save. :(

And a tradition is still a tradition.

User avatar
zzm9980
Governor
Governor
Posts: 6865
Joined: Wed, 06 Jul 2011 1:35 pm
Location: Once more unto the breach

Post by zzm9980 » Fri, 03 Aug 2012 8:51 am

v4jr4 wrote:
the lynx wrote:
thismyvoice wrote:Amount depends on the venue, event, etc.

For baby's full month/ first year celebration in HDB/condo, $50 if you are going alone and $80 to $100 if family is invited. The alternative is to bring a gift for the baby.
Interestingly, the parents this time requested 'no gift please'. I presume that the only option left is money...
How about gold necklace/bracelet?
How does a gold necklace/bracelet get an exemption from the "no gift please" clause? And if you're going to give such a gift of even nominal quality, it's going to cost a lot more than the hong bao, so why not just give $$$?

There's nothing I hate more than gifts of low quality/tacky jewelry. Wtf is the recipient supposed to do with it? Wear it and look like a fool, or let it waste space in a drawer? /rant finish :x

User avatar
JR8
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 16516
Joined: Wed, 24 Mar 2010 12:43 pm
Location: K. Puki Manis

Post by JR8 » Fri, 03 Aug 2012 8:53 am

Tell us what yer really feel, it's ok :o



[ :wink: ]

User avatar
the lynx
Governor
Governor
Posts: 5274
Joined: Thu, 09 Dec 2010 6:29 pm
Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location:

Post by the lynx » Fri, 03 Aug 2012 8:59 am

zzm9980 wrote:
v4jr4 wrote:
the lynx wrote: Interestingly, the parents this time requested 'no gift please'. I presume that the only option left is money...
How about gold necklace/bracelet?
How does a gold necklace/bracelet get an exemption from the "no gift please" clause? And if you're going to give such a gift of even nominal quality, it's going to cost a lot more than the hong bao, so why not just give $$$?

There's nothing I hate more than gifts of low quality/tacky jewelry. Wtf is the recipient supposed to do with it? Wear it and look like a fool, or let it waste space in a drawer? /rant finish :x
When I was a teenager, I often get tacky gifts from boys, especially teddy bears and distasteful jewellery (or loosely called 'accessories'). I'd have appreciated if they're handmade. But seriously, I'd rather them giving me practical gifts like bookmarks (since I didn't trust them to know what I read anyway), or even simple cards/letters (because the probability of me keeping them was way higher than those teddy bears).

So what did I do? I donated those tacky gifts to orphanage every year I did spring cleaning in my room.

User avatar
JR8
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 16516
Joined: Wed, 24 Mar 2010 12:43 pm
Location: K. Puki Manis

Post by JR8 » Fri, 03 Aug 2012 9:05 am

the lynx wrote: So what did I do? I donated those tacky gifts to orphanage every year I did spring cleaning in my room.

My my, a lady with many admirers it seems! :wink:

User avatar
nakatago
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 8348
Joined: Tue, 01 Sep 2009 11:23 pm
Location: Sister Margaret’s School for Wayward Children

Post by nakatago » Fri, 03 Aug 2012 9:26 am

Gotta write this down; may pitch it to network television in Korea or Taiwan. Anyone know a shoujo mangaka?
"A quokka is what would happen if there was an anime about kangaroos."

User avatar
zzm9980
Governor
Governor
Posts: 6865
Joined: Wed, 06 Jul 2011 1:35 pm
Location: Once more unto the breach

Post by zzm9980 » Fri, 03 Aug 2012 9:37 am

nakatago wrote:Gotta write this down; may pitch it to network television in Korea or Taiwan. Anyone know a shoujo mangaka?
Send it to Taiwan, and get this guy to play my part:

Image
(from M-Riders, some show on yoyo tv. yes, that's an owl on his shoulder)
Last edited by zzm9980 on Fri, 03 Aug 2012 9:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
zzm9980
Governor
Governor
Posts: 6865
Joined: Wed, 06 Jul 2011 1:35 pm
Location: Once more unto the breach

Post by zzm9980 » Fri, 03 Aug 2012 9:38 am

the lynx wrote:
zzm9980 wrote:
v4jr4 wrote: How about gold necklace/bracelet?
How does a gold necklace/bracelet get an exemption from the "no gift please" clause? And if you're going to give such a gift of even nominal quality, it's going to cost a lot more than the hong bao, so why not just give $$$?

There's nothing I hate more than gifts of low quality/tacky jewelry. Wtf is the recipient supposed to do with it? Wear it and look like a fool, or let it waste space in a drawer? /rant finish :x
When I was a teenager, I often get tacky gifts from boys, especially teddy bears and distasteful jewellery (or loosely called 'accessories'). I'd have appreciated if they're handmade. But seriously, I'd rather them giving me practical gifts like bookmarks (since I didn't trust them to know what I read anyway), or even simple cards/letters (because the probability of me keeping them was way higher than those teddy bears).

So what did I do? I donated those tacky gifts to orphanage every year I did spring cleaning in my room.
And this is why I give everyone Amazon gift credit. At least in the US, if you can't find something on Amazon you want, you don't deserve a gift.

Post Reply
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to “Staying, Living in Singapore”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 18 guests