Pregnant GF

expatforum112 · Post by **expatforum112** » Thu, 26 Jan 2012 4:36 am

If my GF is pregnant and insists on having the baby while I do not, is there any legal liability on me.

I and her both are 23 years old

Both are foreigners

We took all protection but she says she is pregnant.
Appreciate if ppl can restrict their responses to only the legal liabilities, if any..

MOD NOTE: corrected title spelling (pedantic twitch, I know).

Post by **sundaymorningstaple** » Thu, 26 Jan 2012 7:00 am

Legally? Depends on whether or not you admit paternity.

Morally........ I think you already know the answer.

expatforum112 · Post by **expatforum112** » Thu, 26 Jan 2012 7:14 am

As in? One can be a biological father but not a legal one. How does it work in SG? I do not want an accident to shape our lives but for some reason the girl does not think along similar lines..

Post by **x9200** » Thu, 26 Jan 2012 7:30 am

expatforum112 wrote:If my GF is pregnant and insists on having the baby while I do not, is there any legal liability on me.

Yes. If you are the biological father or you legally accept the child as yours you are obliged by law to contribute to all the related expenses. If you are the father and deny this is your child your fatherhood can be easily confirmed or ruled out by DNA tests. Whether this is you who would need to deliver such proof and it is enough for her to point to you varies from country to country.

Barri · Post by **Barri** » Thu, 26 Jan 2012 8:58 am

Oh boy.

Contact her and your parents especially if you both are from a western country so you all can talk her out of it. Because this is quite a lot for a 23 year old. Tell her and your parents honestly that you feel desperate and that you are so afraid that you can't afford the babies life cost and that you imagined having a baby much much later when you where more settled.
And what if something happens to your girlfriend while you both are so far away from your family?

23 is indeed very young and yes you will have a legal obligation.

Talk about it how she sees life after a baby because going out, expensive clothes, body care and hanging with friends is then out of the window. Friends won't stay cause babies and such is not in their own agenda and gets in the way of partying.
Calculate how much it costs to care for a baby: diapers, milk formula, clothes, vaccinations etc and present her the monthly bill -can you and her really afford that?

Travailes · Post by **Travailes** » Thu, 26 Jan 2012 9:41 am

Barri wrote:
23 is indeed very young and yes you will have a legal obligation.

Talk about it how she sees life after a baby because going out, expensive clothes, body care and hanging with friends is then out of the window. Friends won't stay cause babies and such is not in their own agenda and gets in the way of partying.
Calculate how much it costs to care for a baby: diapers, milk formula, clothes, vaccinations etc and present her the monthly bill -can you and her really afford that?

What selfish nonsense and what shocking reasons for forcing your partner to consider an abortion. Just accept your responsibilities and enjoy your newborn. You'll be amazed how they enhance your lives for the better.

zzm9980 · Post by **zzm9980** » Thu, 26 Jan 2012 9:43 am

expatforum112 wrote:As in? One can be a biological father but not a legal one. How does it work in SG? I do not want an accident to shape our lives but for some reason the girl does not think along similar lines..

What country(ies) are you two from? I have never heard of anywhere where a biological father could get away with not being legally responsible once proven to be the father. Although I'm sure they exist.

nutnut · Post by **nutnut** » Thu, 26 Jan 2012 10:06 am

You do understand that all contraception is not 100% right?

If your GF doesn't agree with the abortion, then you are legally responsible for it. You should have discussed this possibility before hand if you feel so strongly and judged it from there. At the end of the day, it is both immoral and illegal to force your GF to have an abortion, however, it is not that you being forced into being a father, sounds like you probably won't be a father either way. This is a large turning point in your life, if you are not going to be together as a couple (it sounds as thought he relationship may already be beginning to break down) then think about it pragmatically.

nut

Post by **x9200** » Thu, 26 Jan 2012 10:18 am

expatforum112 wrote:As in? One can be a biological father but not a legal one.

Only under some specific country dependent circumstances like i.e. the mother marries someone and he accepts the child and you have no custody etc; or you are a sperm donor (in a legal sense, not de facto as you have already proven here)

How does it work in SG? I do not want an accident to shape our lives but for some reason the girl does not think along similar lines..

PART VIII
MAINTENANCE OF WIFE AND CHILDREN
Duty of parents to maintain children
68. Except where an agreement or order of court otherwise provides, it shall be the duty of a parent to maintain or contribute to the maintenance of his or her children, whether they are in his or her custody or the custody of any other person, and whether they are legitimate or illegitimate, either by providing them with such accommodation, clothing, food and education as may be reasonable having regard to his or her means and station in life or by paying the cost thereof.

(Women's Charter)

Post by **nakatago** » Thu, 26 Jan 2012 10:19 am

It would seem that OP won't be coming back...

...being branded a douchebag dad and all.

@OP: if you're reading this, own up to it. Be a man. You must do the right thing. Accept responsibility for your actions.

ecureilx · Post by **ecureilx** » Thu, 26 Jan 2012 10:25 am

nakatago wrote:It would seem that OP won't be coming back...

...being branded a douchebag dad and all.

@OP: if you're reading this, own up to it. Be a man. You must do the right thing. Accept responsibility for your actions.

+1 Says me

Or the child is better off not knowing such a douchebag as a father ..

Barri · Post by **Barri** » Thu, 26 Jan 2012 11:24 am

Travailes wrote:
Barri wrote:
23 is indeed very young and yes you will have a legal obligation.

Talk about it how she sees life after a baby because going out, expensive clothes, body care and hanging with friends is then out of the window. Friends won't stay cause babies and such is not in their own agenda and gets in the way of partying.
Calculate how much it costs to care for a baby: diapers, milk formula, clothes, vaccinations etc and present her the monthly bill -can you and her really afford that?
What selfish nonsense and what shocking reasons for forcing your partner to consider an abortion. Just accept your responsibilities and enjoy your newborn. You'll be amazed how they enhance your lives for the better.

Selfish nonsense?
Yes I gave selfish reasons! You know why? That is because they are 23!
In my part of the world that means they are barely adult and not really fit and riped enough to start a family.
But like you said they must just go ahead and get the baby and be unhappy together. Their child will love having a crying immature mommy who can't afford her life expenses and growing up without a father in her life since he is too immature to bear it all.
But he the planet is so unpopulated that we really need more?!??
Sorry for assuming these where "educated people" who wait normally until they are 30+ or something before beginning with children.

Post by **sundaymorningstaple** » Thu, 26 Jan 2012 11:46 am

Sorry for assuming these where "educated people" who wait normally until they are 30+ or something before beginning with children.

Barri, I'm not sure what country you are from but my cohort almost all had their offspring between the ages of 20~28. We were the largest cohort in all history, the baby boomers. Didn't hurt us a damned bit. And, I don't think we were all uneducated either. In fact, there is a good reason with today's economy, to have the children earlier and out of the house or working sooner so as to not be unemployed 50 years old's trying to pay for your children's college educations.

Post by **x9200** » Thu, 26 Jan 2012 12:12 pm

Barri wrote:Yes I gave selfish reasons! You know why? That is because they are 23!
In my part of the world that means they are barely adult and not really fit and riped enough to start a family.
But like you said they must just go ahead and get the baby and be unhappy together. Their child will love having a crying immature mommy who can't afford her life expenses and growing up without a father in her life since he is too immature to bear it all.
But he the planet is so unpopulated that we really need more?!??
Sorry for assuming these where "educated people" who wait normally until they are 30+ or something before beginning with children.

I don't think it is all that simple. Assuming her intentions are honest she wants this child. Forcing her into abortion may have profound impact on her emotional development not to mention possible physical side effects if too late and something goes wrong. You made also a lot of assumptions about their ability to sustain themselves financially as a family. Probably you have no solid ground for these assumptions.

expatforum112 · Post by **expatforum112** » Thu, 26 Jan 2012 12:21 pm

Guys, am not forcing my GF to do anything. I have always maintained that it is her decision but it is also essential that I told her what my thoughts were .

For the record, we have been together only for a few months and we were still just getting to know phase. I was just curious to know how things work as you may realize all this took me by surprise. Im not some one who just sleeps around and so this came as a big surprise that inspite of using all the protection and having been together for such short time, this might happen.

Nevertheless, thanks for the responses. Frankly did not expect so many in such a short time.

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