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BillyB
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Postby BillyB » Fri, 20 Jan 2012 10:19 am

Strong Eagle wrote:
beppi wrote:So, you are saying a "Life Coach" can make me see the shortcomings of my behaviour and teach me how to act in order to overcome them?
That would indeed be worth spending for.
Unfortunately my wife fails miserly in this (and then calls me "stubborn goat"). I don't see how somebody who knows me less can be more successful in this?


She's not trained... and never will be... sorry ladies.

You're not some sort of inscrutable stone monolith... unknowable... you are a human being that quickly reveals lots of things to the trained eye. Everything from your tells... your eye contact and movement, body movements, reactions to questions, what you do with your hands, body posture... to what you say and do in response to questions asked.


But... I'm not selling my coaching skills... I'll let the OP chime in.


Hey, Mr Eagle - have you watched the US series 'lie to me'? If not - you should do - I think it would be right up your street!

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Postby beppi » Fri, 20 Jan 2012 3:45 pm

So, are these "Life Coaches" giving guaranteed results (e.g. making me less stubborn)?
After all, they probably also want guaranteed money for their work.
I guess, though, they won't guarantee, since they themselves aren't sure enough of the value of their work.(*)

It's interesting to note that the OP has disappeared. Maybe he/she is also unsure?


(*) They will say this is because the other party might not cooperate, thus they cannot be sure. Similar to a handyman saying "I'm not sure if I can fix it, but if it's too difficult for me you still have to pay for my attempt!"

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Postby Strong Eagle » Fri, 20 Jan 2012 5:47 pm

beppi wrote:So, are these "Life Coaches" giving guaranteed results (e.g. making me less stubborn)?
After all, they probably also want guaranteed money for their work.
I guess, though, they won't guarantee, since they themselves aren't sure enough of the value of their work.(*)

It's interesting to note that the OP has disappeared. Maybe he/she is also unsure?


(*) They will say this is because the other party might not cooperate, thus they cannot be sure. Similar to a handyman saying "I'm not sure if I can fix it, but if it's too difficult for me you still have to pay for my attempt!"


They won't "make" you less stubborn. They can identify the situations in which you react by being stubborn. They can work with you to identify the negative consequences occurring as a result of your behavior. The can suggest behavior modification exercises to change your reactions and outlook to certain situations. But they cannot "make" you do anything.

They won't guarantee because you might not cooperate. I wouldn't. You've already displayed interest and skepticism, and possibly outright disbelief that a coach could do any good.

No, the only way coaching actually works is through the building of a trust relationship. You'd actually have to risk and engage in one or two meetings to see if your coach was someone you could trust and work with.

A good coach is going to force you to look at your foibles, at your black side, at your shadow, and your behaviors which you sometimes regret. If you are not willing to do this, if you fear what you might find upon deeper exploration, then probably a coach cannot do much for you.

"There are none so blind as those who will not see. The most deluded people are those who choose to ignore what they already know, or could know. (Italics added by me)

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Postby liv1978 » Sat, 21 Jan 2012 11:44 am

To clarify (... and I am sure), I coach young people, parents and teachers in many aspects of their lives; including stress and anger management, time and organisational issues, career/business coaching, motivation, healthy life choices, bullying, body image, management of positive relationships and the maintenance of a good work-life balance, amoungst other things.

The overarching theme to these topics is that the client WANTS to be coached and is not forced into a coaching relationship. They are willing but must also need to be commited, so no money is forced out of anyone's hand. Success can not be guaranteed without the client's hard work and effort. Only they can improve themselves. Imagine expecting a full guarantee from your personal trainer that you'll be a beach babe/hunk in 6 months without ever getting off the sofa! If I sense a client is not committed, I will let them know immediately and if that sentiment continues, will cease my service with them. I do expect success.

My role is to help guide the client into clarifying what they want to achieve, where they are now and what their furture aims are. I open up their mind to a range of possible methods to achieve their goal. This can be interesting as we all have preconceptions about ourselves, things that are or aren't really 'us', but these can be challenged and changed.

Outcomes and dates for achievements are clearly stipulated so the client is clear about what success is and they have to be open to the hard work that each step to success involves. Coaching helps people get out of their comfort zones. It can help clients see themselves as others see them and it can help them adjust and improve themselves to be better in the future and dispel things that are holding them back.

I also wanted to add there are many reasons why chatting through problems with a partner, friend or close colleague is not the same as coaching and will not be as effective. Firstly, as Strong Eagle wrote, these people are not qualified or trained. Secondly, these relationships come with a past history and underlying caveats, for example an unwillingness to show weakness or seem incompetent in front of a colleague or a fear from your partner that if you 'change' your life, their lifestyle or relationship with you might also (adversely) change. It can be more empowering to feel free to unburden to a trained professional than someone close to you.

I answer to nutnut's question about how do you know how to find a good life coach and how do you ascertain if they know what they're doing, well, ask people you know and value for recommendations and check potential Coaches' experience and qualifications, would be my advice. It is also worth checking if a potential Coach is accredited with the 'International Coaching Federation', a world-wide organisation that sets standards etc. As Strong Eagle said, you might need to shop around a little, have a few meetings with Coaches (first consultations are often free) and assess whether you have a rapport or not. It is important to have trust in them and what they can do for you, so if you feel uncertain, don't pursue it.

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Postby teck21 » Sat, 21 Jan 2012 4:17 pm

I used to be extremely sceptical of life or any sort of character coaching, and I still am. But I can see how it may be useful to some.

I used to think Robert Kiyosaki's Rich Dad, Poor Dad was a lot of fluff. empty inspirational talk designed simply to part the reader from his or her money. But I notice it has had some effect on friends who never ever previously thought about things like enhancing their wealth etc. And reading books like these are a form of life coaching as well.

I liken it to quitting smoking. Most people who successfully quit do it on their own. They go cold turkey, or cut down till they can do without, but that doesn't stop people from making a good living out of helping people to quit.

At the end of the day, if person trying to quit isn't fully committed, nothing will work. So I think it works for some, does nothing for most, because imo most people who try something like this are simply looking for an excuse to say 'I tried'.

So I think life coaching could serve a purpose for some, and there is a probably a market for this kind of service. How to tap it is a different matter.

I'm sure there already are people doing this, or something like this (Does Adam Khoo count? He once suggested that property agents could all make a lot more money by moving into the good class bungalow segment) and making big money.

That said, I think anyone who is able to think critically for himself or herself, who can recognize shortcomings that need rectification in order to move on certainly has no need for a life coach.

Can give it a go. Parents here do not hold back on spending money on their kids. The more money they spend, the happier they are because it feeds their vanity by proxy. That's where the money is.

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Postby ksl » Wed, 25 Jan 2012 5:10 pm

Liv1978 If you have what it takes go for it! The world is your Oyster with pearls in it. Though you need to target your audience more specifically, Life Coaching sounds more like an American Scam. I would much prefer Inspirational coaching myself. :lol:

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Postby JR8 » Wed, 25 Jan 2012 5:53 pm

ksl wrote: Life Coaching sounds more like an American Scam. I would much prefer Inspirational coaching myself. :lol:



The Americans definitely have a penchant for self-improvment and giving and receiving wisdom (think of the self-indulgent and rather vulgar 'Lessons in life', or 'Things I'd wish I'd have known at 21' books that parents write for their children, or the round-robin e-mails of inspirational pearls of wisdom).

I think Americans have more of a yearning to be told they're fallen, and need help to get back on the right track. Don't know about Asians but I think with Brits the tendency is to grin and make do. So yes to my ears, the term 'life coaching' comes over as immediately quite condescending.

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Postby movingtospore » Mon, 30 Jan 2012 1:58 pm

Have to agree with JR8, this is a very American phenom that often doesn't play well elsewhere. More cycnically minded Brits, Aussies and Canucks will just laugh at it, and French and other Europeans won't have a clue what you're talking about, I bet. But, get yourself on the in with some of the American MNCs set up here and you could do well. Could tap into a never-ending stream of business as they try to coach their local staff to be more American. Or coach their American managers on how to stop insulting the locals. LOL. Or, convince the locals that your services will help them get their kids into a good primary school and/or uni eventually. Good luck...

If you're talking genuine counselling...there are counselling outfits here that serve the expat community that presumably do well or wouldn't stick around.

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Postby nakatago » Mon, 30 Jan 2012 2:02 pm

movingtospore wrote:coach their American managers on how to stop insulting the locals. LOL. Or, convince the locals that your services will help them get their kids into a good primary school and/or uni eventually.


Ha-ha!

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Postby QRM » Mon, 30 Jan 2012 4:24 pm

Its creeping in everywhere I took my sprog to a driving range, they were trying to say that hitting white ball is the perfect way to learn life enriching values.

WTF soon taking a piss would be a great time for life coaching and self reflection, its the same old BS join a cult of like minded individuals part with your cash for donation etc.

I suppose these days as the world population becomes more educated and sceptical religion can now really only dupe those in third world countries.

These people have to evolve and change in the modern world hence all this life coaching, its all the same, this time the church is replaced by a driving range, boot camp, office etc. the pastors no longer wear robes but polo shirts with catchy logos, and the every present donation box is now all handled online. The big man on the cloud is replaced with the mystical holy grail of the "Hole in one" or living the perfect life.
Last edited by QRM on Mon, 30 Jan 2012 5:39 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Postby Strong Eagle » Mon, 30 Jan 2012 4:26 pm

QRM wrote:Its creeping in everywhere I took my sprog to a driving range, they were trying to say that hitting white ball is the perfect way to learn life enriching values.

WTF soon taking a piss would be a great time for life coaching and self reflection, its the same old BS join a cult of like minded individuals part with your cash for donation etc.

I suppose these days as the world population becomes more educated and sceptical religion can now really only dupe those in third world countries.

These people have too evolve and change in the modern world hence all this life coaching, its all the same, this time the church is replaced by a driving range, boot camp, office etc. the pastors no longer ware robes but polo shirts with catchy logos, and the every present donation box is now all handled online. The big man on the cloud is replaced with the mystical holy grail of the "Hole in one" or living the perfect life.


Wow! Who pissed in your Wheaties?

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Postby beppi » Mon, 30 Jan 2012 4:55 pm

movingtospore wrote:More cycnically minded Brits, Aussies and Canucks will just laugh at it, and French and other Europeans won't have a clue what you're talking about, I bet.

The last time I checked, Canada was part of America (North America to be specific). I don't think it has changed continent in the last few weeks ...

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Postby poodlek » Mon, 30 Jan 2012 7:27 pm

beppi wrote:
movingtospore wrote:More cycnically minded Brits, Aussies and Canucks will just laugh at it, and French and other Europeans won't have a clue what you're talking about, I bet.

The last time I checked, Canada was part of America (North America to be specific). I don't think it has changed continent in the last few weeks ...


I dare you to tell the next Canadian you meet that he's actually American :-| You're likely to get jerseyed.

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Postby ksl » Mon, 30 Jan 2012 8:11 pm

QRM wrote:Its creeping in everywhere I took my sprog to a driving range, they were trying to say that hitting white ball is the perfect way to learn life enriching values.

WTF soon taking a piss would be a great time for life coaching and self reflection, its the same old BS join a cult of like minded individuals part with your cash for donation etc.

I suppose these days as the world population becomes more educated and sceptical religion can now really only dupe those in third world countries.

These people have to evolve and change in the modern world hence all this life coaching, its all the same, this time the church is replaced by a driving range, boot camp, office etc. the pastors no longer wear robes but polo shirts with catchy logos, and the every present donation box is now all handled online. The big man on the cloud is replaced with the mystical holy grail of the "Hole in one" or living the perfect life.
:lol: It's ideal for those that don't get hands on experience, they get a piece of paper that says I attended a life coaching course and covered everything there is to know the academic way. Mmmm MBA's without expeience comes to mind :???: It's like asking how many people know how to change a flat tyre correctly, not many in Singapore i can tell you that, quite a lucrative market here for any kind of coaching.

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Postby poodlek » Mon, 30 Jan 2012 8:46 pm

QRM wrote:Its creeping in everywhere I took my sprog to a driving range, they were trying to say that hitting white ball is the perfect way to learn life enriching values.

WTF soon taking a piss would be a great time for life coaching and self reflection, its the same old BS join a cult of like minded individuals part with your cash for donation etc.

I suppose these days as the world population becomes more educated and sceptical religion can now really only dupe those in third world countries.

These people have to evolve and change in the modern world hence all this life coaching, its all the same, this time the church is replaced by a driving range, boot camp, office etc. the pastors no longer wear robes but polo shirts with catchy logos, and the every present donation box is now all handled online. The big man on the cloud is replaced with the mystical holy grail of the "Hole in one" or living the perfect life.


I agree that there is a falseness to a lot of the hyped-up programs/gurus in the self-help industry that makes it difficult to take any of it seriously. But as with the dieting industry, there are fads, and then there are programs (lifestyle choices??) that actually work. It is up to the individual to evaluate them and decide if they are trustworthy.

For many people, the degree of their success in their careers and relationships depend on their attitudes and mindsets, which are not always easy to change without the help of an unbiased observer (which is why your wife couldn't do it for you, she's too close to you). This person could be a counsellor of some sort, like a psychologist or a priest, but if you're not mentally ill or religious, why would you seek them out?
Some people are quite satisfied with the level of their success and don't seek growth or change of any sort. Still others are just cynics ;-)

To answer the OPs question, I think that Life Coaching would be extremely popular here in Singapore, as I see that many folks here are keen to dump their money into buzzword bandying seminars like those offered by Peak Potentials and Excellerated Business Schools. Someone like you who potentially has much (more?) value to offer over the long term could do well I think.


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