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need help - where can i complain about a school

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trekstor1
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need help - where can i complain about a school

Post by trekstor1 » Sat, 03 Dec 2011 2:55 pm

Need help - where can I file a complaint for my son school?
MOE?

My 6 1/2-year-old son just went through a terrible experience at school last week. He was sitting in the class, fiddling his finger. His teacher came to him and said "that looks like a gun" and dragged him down to the head master (where kids were ingrained with fearful image of being to the head master).

Not sure if this linked to another issue we had with school earlier, when the teacher pulled him up by the collar (from a sitting position on the floor) and hurt his neck. I made the complaint on the incident, but was told off that "your son must have done something that made the teacher angry..."

A 6 1/2-year-old boy can be stubborn ... which is normal for the age. But the recent threat on last Friday scared him out and make him stressed over the weekend.

I just moved here a few months ago, and not sure if there is a governing body that I can file my complaint to. At least for the filing purpose to ensure that if any incident happens, I can ask for further investigation from the governing organization.

Please help.
Last edited by trekstor1 on Sat, 03 Dec 2011 7:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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sundaymorningstaple
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Post by sundaymorningstaple » Sat, 03 Dec 2011 3:23 pm

So you are admitting you son is a handful, yeah? Maybe you should also think about getting him some professional help at the same time. If he is too stubborn he may well be disrupting the classroom and driving the teacher to distraction of their duties which is "all" of the students.

Just a thought. :-|
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers

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Post by Mad Scientist » Sat, 03 Dec 2011 5:08 pm

May I know where are you from OP ?
The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.Yahoo !!!

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Post by trekstor1 » Sat, 03 Dec 2011 6:59 pm

sundaymorningstaple wrote:So you are admitting you son is a handful, yeah? Maybe you should also think about getting him some professional help at the same time. If he is too stubborn he may well be disrupting the classroom and driving the teacher to distraction of their duties which is "all" of the students.

Just a thought. :-|
many thanks for your kind advice.
what i meant was 'a 6 1/2 yo boy' is normally stubborn...given the age
i would rate my son on slightly above average (6/10) for that.

'in the case that a kid happens to disrupt the class' - are you suggesting that the practice of 'physical abusion' and 'threatening the kid' is common and acceptable here in singapore?

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Post by sundaymorningstaple » Sat, 03 Dec 2011 8:31 pm

So, did you ever find out just what your child did the first time that so aggravated the teacher? Without knowing what exactly the child did, while it would not be an excuse to jerk the child off the floor, must have had a profound impact on the teacher. I'm curious what he could have done to precipitate that kind of reaction.

As it seems to have happened again in such a short space of time, i reckon it's possible the teacher has a vendetta against your boy, don't you? I mean, come on, 6.5 year old kids don't have the capability to be disruptive in class or throw temper tantrums in stores when they don't get their way. They just don't do those things.

We still don't know what kind of school the boy is in either. Is it a local school, International School, madrasa, what? Does you boy speak the language of instruction of the class he's in? If it's a private school, not sure what you can do short of calling the police or withdrawing him from the school until he can act like he's supposed to. If it a local school, you can go to the MOE and register a complaint. But if you do, be prepared to give a lot more information than you have here, else you might get even more inconsiderate responses like you got from the headmaster.
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers

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Post by JR8 » Sat, 03 Dec 2011 9:08 pm

The OP seems to have edited the thread so that it is now meaningless :roll:

There is no mention of what the child did the first time, what the headmaster did, or what the 'threat/s' were.

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Post by sundaymorningstaple » Sat, 03 Dec 2011 9:56 pm

Nah, the edit was minor, deflecting the fact that originally it alluded that their boy was stubborn. Now it's more generic so it makes my comment look funny. But yeah, still hasn't told us what "supposedly" happened that cause such untoward behaviour on the part of the teacher AND the head master.
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers

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Post by Mary Hatch Bailey » Sun, 04 Dec 2011 6:10 am

The teacher should be fired, his hands do not belong on your son in this context, handful or not. The school has a toxic culture if they tried to imply the teacher's over-reaction was a result of your child's behavior. Ask the headmaster who the supervisor is and proceed, but do so knowing you'll probably poison tis well and be labeled a troublemaker. Sad, but true.

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Post by sundaymorningstaple » Sun, 04 Dec 2011 10:58 am

So we should remember that when the boys are in the schoolyard beating the crap out of each other, the teachers should only say, in a calm voice, "please boys, break it up" cause they are not able to grab 'em by the scruff of the neck and drag 'em apart? One would have us believe that boys, with adrenalin rushing through their veins, would have the presence of mind to listen to anybody, authority or otherwise....... :-|
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers

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Post by nutnut » Sun, 04 Dec 2011 4:15 pm

A teacher should never be angry and apply violence to the situation. However, I have no issue with corporal punishment in school, as long as it is administered coolly and calmly.

Therefore, if the statement that the kid did "something to make the teacher angry" then it should be recorded and the punishment must be as per the rule book! Otherwise the teacher should be sacked, the teacher cannot apply aggression to a 6 year old kid.
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Post by sundaymorningstaple » Sun, 04 Dec 2011 4:36 pm

Unfortunately, we don't know it the teacher was angry or not. The little info we've actually received from the OP leads me to think of hysterics more than facts. It would seem that even the school authorities had no inkling of what happened either. Something in the equation is missing I do think.
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers

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Post by nutnut » Sun, 04 Dec 2011 4:55 pm

Agreed! School, Kid and possibly some blame from the parent. Although, teachers are in loco parentis when parents aren't there, and should be sufficient to tell them off properly!

Although, my kids (old) Kindergarten were pretty much terrible at discipline, they just let kids do whatever they wanted and when they over stepped the wide marks they set, they told them off with the "nice again chair" Namby Pamby pish!
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Post by Mary Hatch Bailey » Sun, 04 Dec 2011 7:47 pm

sundaymorningstaple wrote:So we should remember that when the boys are in the schoolyard beating the crap out of each other, the teachers should only say, in a calm voice, "please boys, break it up" cause they are not able to grab 'em by the scruff of the neck and drag 'em apart?
No, I said it was wrong "in this context." The situation the OP described does not warrant that type of over reaction from a paid professional dedicated to leading by example and nurturing children. The administration putting the blame on the child by saying he must have "done something that made the teacher angry" means it's a systemic problem not a one-off.

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Post by trekstor1 » Sun, 04 Dec 2011 8:10 pm

Many thanks for various comments.

Wonder if anyone know if there is an organization that I can make complaint to. What I want, just to have a record filed - just in case that there is continuing episode.

That's the advice I would like...

As many asked for the full detailed story, this is the more detailed version. (sorry that I didn't mean to trigger a long thread, I was just looking for help as I have only been here a few months)

As this could be a one-off case for one teacher and one student. Therefore, I would like to keep the school name untold. It is an International School.

Part 2 of the story: 'you make your finger shaping like a gun'

Last friday, there was a big episode going about 'you make your finger shaping like a gun'. With in short minutes, the boy was dragged down to see the head master.

The key to the story is (1) it was the teacher who mentioned 'gun' first, (2) the boy made no sound or aiming gesture. My son repeated what he did and I had it video clipped. According to him, he said that he was just fiddling with his finger; and he wasn't even thinking of anything - "I was just playing with my finger".

The consequence of the day was that the boy is completely terrified. To this school - according to their activities, such as make the signboard - going into the head master was given a very fearful perception to every kid - given the kid's world is so small and bounded to school. [sometimes, adults bound themselves to workplace as well - that's our world]

To scale this up to an adult story, it sounds to me like the feeling that you find yourself in the situation: waking up in the middle of the night, having DEA storming into your house, putting a bag of white stuff in your hands and accuse you being a drug dealer and take you into custody.

That's probably how terrified a 6.5 yo kid would feel going through such a dragging down 2 floors to the head master room in the middle of the class time.

Part 1 of the story: Grab the collar

This actually happened the month before. However, it could be my fault that I brought this up in the parent-teacher meeting session. This is because of the fact that, one night a few days before my meeting with the teacher, he mentioned the story again before going to bed that "why teacher hurt me; and when I told her that she hurt me...she didn't even say sorry" [as I taught him that if he accidentally hurt someone, e.g. bump into some one by accident, say 'sorry'].

The story on grabbing the collar started from all the kids lining up, while my son was slow in responding to the instruction. So the teacher came, grabbed the back of the collar and pulled him up to stand from a floor sitting position.

We always teach him to tell other adult(s) in the case that he is physically abused by an adult. So he did, first telling his teacher that "you hurt me" and then he told another teacher (teacher X) that his teacher hurt him. But he was ignored.

As his mind was still having the issue on after a month (and asking me that night), I decided (probably wrongly) to bring the point up with the teacher X directly. Disappointingly, the point was simply brushed off with "the boy must have done something irritating the teacher".

All in all, I hope that this terrible experience will just pass away - as sooner or later in life, we will find similar experience of some sort. So having it now at the age of 6.5 may be a little early, but he gotta learn toughness of life some day anyway.

On the other hand, I would like to be sure as well by having some report filing of the incident(s). Just in case something (similar case to the terrifying gun accusation) were to happen.

I don't dare to bring the subject back to school, as it could backfire at my son. The Part 2 could have caused by my mistake of mentioning the Part 1 of the story to the teacher. [Despite the fact that subject of Part 1 was shot down quickly with some ignorant attitude, the conversation between myself and the teacher on that day was fine. - In fact, I only felt the ignorant attitude afterwards when driving home. A bit slow then.]

Therefore, I would like to seek your kind advice because we will probably have to stick with this school at least a few more months before he completes his year and there is opening at another school.

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Post by sundaymorningstaple » Sun, 04 Dec 2011 8:58 pm

As it's a private school, I think the only thing you can do it take the child out of the school. As the child wasn't exactly abused. e.g., physically hit in either case, I'm not sure if any sort of "case" could be made in the legal sense, but that would be my next course of action, seeing an attorney to see what they say.

First, remove your child from school
Second, see an attorney if you feel that strongly about it.

Maybe other's here will have something else, but unless it's a government school, there is little the MOE can do, and as there wasn't any deliberate physical abuse, I'm not too sure that there is any legal recourse either. It sounds to me like the hurt was not deliberate, but collateral injury sustained when hauled up by his collar. I don't know. See an attorney.
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers

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