Helper's kid visiting for 1 mo.-anyone else with experience?

[serioussandals]

We have said OK for our helper to have her prim. school aged kid visit for a month while we are here and also away. This is not a trust problem. I would like others who have allowed young family members to visit share any experience they have. We have two kids about the same age who are willing to share toys and are inclusive when they play. I am concerned more how it affects my helper's kid and their relationship.

[JR8]

My concern would be that a boundary is being crossed, and how it might impact your future relationship with your maid. How long have you had her for?

[ecureilx]

well, I know some of the maids, when their employer is 'gracious', allow them to have a family member, on visit, but that's not the norm, and especially when it is a kid.

How will you ensure the maid does her primary work ?

Why not give her time off when the kid is here, or, as anybody would suggest, send her on a vacation back home ?

if the objective is for the kid to visit Singapore, and only the kid and if you can manage, you should know the answer ..

I don't know how the kid can come over as an unaccompanied minor, unless another adult is bringing the kid, and a lot of asian countries dont allow minors to depart alone,heck, even grown ups have trouble passing immigration ... (unless your maid forgot to mention some other 'trivial stuff like who else is accompanying the kid .. ).

[movingtospore]

Can you send her home instead?

[carteki]

I guess my biggest concern would be how she will manage the kid while she's working. Discuss this with her and see if there is a solution that is suitable for both of you. Especially given the small living spaces that domestic workers have in Sg.
- Where will she and the kid sleep - if they don't have a separate room it might make it difficult
- What will the kid do while she is working? Can the kid amuse itself with minor supervision?
- Have you thought about health issues? If the kid arrives with a huge cold or cough or something - what will you do with your kids?
- How happy is she with you being able to tell the kid what / what not to do?

I think what you're doing is great, and also think you're being pragmatic in asking these questions so you're more preapared.

[Piazza]

I think I will see how long is the maid with me and do I trust her? Anyway, I used to have a helper from philippines, she too had wished her son could visit but she knew it that her home country might not even allow it in the first place and it's sounds like it's not easy to leave. Also the issue with the immigration here..I am not sure if you need a sponsor

[carteki]

This post has been resurected.... and a good time to ask the OP did you eventually allow it and what is your advice?

[QRM]

we did the same but our helpers kid came over with his granny and we covered the cost of a hotel for a month and flights, the rule was the helper had to do the full 9-5 day and was allowed to sleep in the hotel. She had the weekends and lunch off, kid and granny was not allowed to come over and stay at our house. All worked out well.

[ex-pat]

we did the same but our helpers kid came over with his granny and we covered the cost of a hotel for a month and flights, the rule was the helper had to do the full 9-5 day and was allowed to sleep in the hotel. She had the weekends and lunch off, kid and granny was not allowed to come over and stay at our house. All worked out well.

Fair enough, everybody happy.

You should be awarded the employer of the year!!!

[serioussandals]

I was the one who originally posted this and sorry for being absent - I had to make a decision quite soon.

It all worked out perfectly. She was here on a month's visa (mother had arranged for her to fly over with friends who were coming anyway and same back -luckily as the airline did not take care of her one bit). She could extend it for another 2-3 weeks and then went home.

Our helper had our third bedroom at the time, so space was no problem and they each had a bed, which I know is unusual. The daughter was 8, did not get sick, played a lot of video games on her mom's little netbook and played with my kids when they were free. It worked out so well that she came last year as well. Our helper was professional about her work and she did not ask off for more time than usual. She is a single mom and it had turned out that her nanny was abusive, so I'm glad we got her out of there and some counseling session through the Philippine Embassy.

I guess it boils down to how well you know your helper and can trust her and that you are clear. We made her get insurance for her daughter and so she was covered. She was sweet, shy with us adults, but playful with the kids and generally polite. The silver lining was that she had her buttons pushed by her daughter and could understand me as a mother better as she had never had to deal with her own for more than a couple of weeks.