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Should i Divorce Pls read and give me advice

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earthfriendly
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Postby earthfriendly » Tue, 01 Nov 2011 1:35 pm

Sawat, learning when to let go is an important skill to have. I recently have to let certain things go in my life. I am better for it and so are the people in my lives. I wish you and everyone the same. Finding the wisdom and courage to do so :).

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Postby poodlek » Tue, 01 Nov 2011 2:12 pm

She's told you it's over and she's with another man. She's not coming back to you, sO my advice to you is to pack up her stuff and take it to the salvation army on your way to file the divorce papers. Take a good long while to examine where along the way you gave up your self-respect in favour of keeping up this charade. Get out and do some yoga or tai chi or join a men's travel or adventure group and get your life back, and forget about her.

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sundaymorningstaple
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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Tue, 01 Nov 2011 4:01 pm

^^^^

Hail yes! +1

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poodlek
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Postby poodlek » Tue, 01 Nov 2011 4:53 pm

sundaymorningstaple wrote:^^^^

Hail yes! +1


tough love, baby. :D

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Postby sawat » Tue, 01 Nov 2011 6:22 pm

Thanks I made up my mine to divorce her. It hurts but that's the only way. She will come back. Should I wait for her to come and sign the paper or send to her? I must get everything ready. The day she's back I will let her sign and send her back. She still dosent know that I found out about her and his guy.

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JR8
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Postby JR8 » Tue, 01 Nov 2011 6:27 pm

sawat wrote:Thanks I made up my mine to divorce her. It hurts but that's the only way. She will come back. Should I wait for her to come and sign the paper or send to her? I must get everything ready. The day she's back I will let her sign and send her back. She still dosent know that I found out about her and his guy.


She's already asked you to send the papers to her, so send them.

If you're lucky she'll play ball and send them back.

p.s. forget about 'the other guy' and you knowing. YOUR marriage is over, focus on moving on now.

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ecureilx
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Postby ecureilx » Tue, 01 Nov 2011 6:27 pm

poodlek wrote:Get out and do some yoga or tai chi or join a men's travel or adventure group and get your life back, and forget about her.


Or find some good friends who will make sure you are returned back home, and head to the best Jose Cuervo and also some Sambouca, and go down in flames .. the world may look brighter after- the next day ..

Then learn to move on .. :( :(

that's the tough part

A trip to Himalayas or Tibet and the like, away from Civilisation will do wonders ..

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Postby sawat » Tue, 01 Nov 2011 6:59 pm

I want the thing to settle once and for all. If I send to her the thing might drag an I don't know what her friends might ask her to do. I pretty sure if I show her the photos she will sign the paper. If I have evidence of her affair is it easier?

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Postby JR8 » Tue, 01 Nov 2011 7:04 pm

sawat wrote:I want the thing to settle once and for all. If I send to her the thing might drag an I don't know what her friends might ask her to do. I pretty sure if I show her the photos she will sign the paper. If I have evidence of her affair is it easier?


You seem to be in denial. She's already asked you to send her the divorce papers.

Admit it, you only want her to visit SG again so you can try and win her back.

It's you that's dragging it out right now and not her...

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Postby sawat » Tue, 01 Nov 2011 7:16 pm

JR8 wrote:
sawat wrote:I want the thing to settle once and for all. If I send to her the thing might drag an I don't know what her friends might ask her to do. I pretty sure if I show her the photos she will sign the paper. If I have evidence of her affair is it easier?


You seem to be in denial. She's already asked you to send her the divorce papers.

Admit it, you only want her to visit SG again so you can try and win her back.

It's you that's dragging it out right now and not her...


Thanks JR for the reply. I really decided to divorce her. I try to give her a chance this morning. But she told me she can't leave to come see me. I know that she don't love me anymore. I just don't know if it's a good idea to send the papers to her or wait for her come back cos I find it easier. I really don't have the heart to give her things away. I know u guys will say I'm stupid but I still love her but I know I can't be with her I have to let her go. In order to forget everything and work harder to get back to my normal self. I still feel very sad. Now. The feeling sucks

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Postby poodlek » Tue, 01 Nov 2011 7:25 pm

sawat wrote:
JR8 wrote:
sawat wrote:I want the thing to settle once and for all. If I send to her the thing might drag an I don't know what her friends might ask her to do. I pretty sure if I show her the photos she will sign the paper. If I have evidence of her affair is it easier?


You seem to be in denial. She's already asked you to send her the divorce papers.

Admit it, you only want her to visit SG again so you can try and win her back.

It's you that's dragging it out right now and not her...


Thanks JR for the reply. I really decided to divorce her. I try to give her a chance this morning. But she told me she can't leave to come see me. I know that she don't love me anymore. I just don't know if it's a good idea to send the papers to her or wait for her come back cos I find it easier. I really don't have the heart to give her things away. I know u guys will say I'm stupid but I still love her but I know I can't be with her I have to let her go. In order to forget everything and work harder to get back to my normal self. I still feel very sad. Now. The feeling sucks


If she's not coming, she's not coming. You'll have to send the papers to her. Are you prepared for the possibility that she'll never come back to Singapore? Will you hold onto her stuff forever? In order for you to move on, you need to deal with those things. The sooner, the better, IMO.

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Tue, 01 Nov 2011 8:41 pm

Let me tell you something, son, (don't know how old your are but you don't sound too old (comparatively speaking), I been there, been to hell and back, not once but twice. :-(

It's never easy, you're never gonna find another, the world is coming to an end. Guess what. It's NOT easy, but, unless you listen to squirrel and turn to booze or head up into the mountains like a hermit, and you let yourself open up your heart (that's the hardest part), it will happen again. And again. And, if need be, possibly again. I'm on my third marriage. My first & second lasted 7 years each. My third? They say the third times a charm, and I think so, as we've been married over 28 years now and still going strong.

And don't turn to booze as it won't help a damn bit, I know, I tried it for 6 months after the 2nd one. Don't work, believe me. Face the facts and git 'er done, dude. Life goes on. The next one will be even better, that I can guarantee. Why? Because the next one will be scrutinized even more than the first one was! ;-) the bar keep rising each time.

Been there, done that.

sms

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Postby sawat » Tue, 01 Nov 2011 9:00 pm

Thanks Sunday Im 33. Not thinking on next one just take times to forget her I guess. Do you guys still keep the old photos or just delete them all.

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Postby JR8 » Tue, 01 Nov 2011 9:16 pm

The divorce I went through was rough. I never saw (and therefore could begin to accept) the position I was in until I spent two weeks apart from her after the terminal bust-up. Only then did I have a chance to breath, and consider. That's when the whole perversity of the situation I found myself in hit me hit me like a ton of bricks.

From there there was zero going back. Photos? No... throw it all away... move on. You're going to feel like there is no hope and you'll never love again but you will, but first you have to acknowledge, mourn and let go of what has already passed.

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Postby Strong Eagle » Tue, 01 Nov 2011 11:01 pm

The things a man will do for a little bit of p*ssy... amazing.


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