I've read all the stickied threads and a great many of the 'please help' posts. Apologies if I appear paranoid, but I now realise how absolutely critical it is that I (we) get this right. Sorry also for how long this is, but I've tried to organise my post so that it is easy to comment on sections of it. Constructive comments on any or all of my questions will be gratefully received!
The Story
I am Singaporean. Singapore is home and I do not want to give up my citizenship. My husband has PR. I am pregnant and our son will be born in Singapore. We will move to my husband's home country when our son is about 4 months old. We do not know whether the move is permanent or if we will resettle in SG at some point.
My husband's country does not care whether or not our son takes his father's nationality, NS liability is based on his father's ethnicity. Our son will need to serve NS if we live there / if he wants to live there. This means he will potentially be liable for a double dose of NS.
This is not about taking the 'good bits' of being Singaporean and shirking the corresponding duty to serve. As mentioned, our son will leave SG as an infant and will not enjoy any socio-economic benefits unless we resettle here. If we return to SG our son will definitely serve NS here. We just want to plan ahead, keeping our son's options open.
Goals
1. I keep my citizenship.
2. The whole family is free to visit Singapore regularly while we live abroad.
3. My husband and I are free to return to live in Singapore without the worry that our son will not be able to visit/live/work here or that we will get in trouble for being parents of an NS defaulter.
3. We don't prematurely take away our son's SG citizenship before he is mature enough to decide for himself.
4. Our son will serve NS once, in the country that he chooses (that will of course be a "guided choice"!

The Plan So Far, and Questions
(This plan is for the worst case scenario, ie. we do not resettle in Singapore before he turns 21.)
1. Our son will be an SG citizen by birth, but we will not apply for a SG passport or IC for him. He will have dual nationality, we will get the Right of Entry stamp in his foreign passport. We will immediately inform ICA when we move away. He will never attend local school. We will not claim Baby Bonus.
2. When he nears age 13, we will file his intention to renounce citizenship with ICA and Mindef.
- Any negative implications of doing this if he decides in the future to serve NS here and retain his SG citizenship? Will it go down in his record that he once had the intention to renounce?
- Would you advise enclosing a letter explaining our circumstances and telling them we are doing this preemptively but may not actually need to renounce?
3. At 13, apply for his Exit Permit.
- Are there any known problems renewing EP for subsequent 1 year 364 day periods until the child reaches 16.5?
4. At 16.5, register him for NS. Apply for a deferment until age 21 pending renunciation.
- Will we get a letter prompting us to register or are we expected to self-report?
- If he decides to do NS, must/should he decide before he turns 18 (or whatever normal enlistment age is)?
- Is there a procedure to withdraw the intention to renounce?
- Assuming he has not enjoyed any socio-economic benefits so far, can we assume he will be granted this deferment, or is there still a significant chance that it can be turned down for unstated reasons?
5. Renounce son's citizenship at 21, if he decides to do so.
- If we have followed all the "proper" steps so far, how crucial is it for my husband and me to also renounce our PR/citizenship?
Alternative: renouncing before 21?
Here it is said there is the possibility of renouncing before the age of 11 if no socio-economic benefit was gained and the child has another nationality.
- Is this still possible if the child is born in SG and therefore an SG citizen by birth?
- If this is done successfully, do you think the child is then in the same position as a child born outside SG who never took SG citizenship? IE. Future application for PR/EP/LTSVP is truly on merit basis as if he is just another foreigner?