Singapore Expats Forum

Passive-Aggressive Neighbors

Discuss about the latest news & interesting topics, real life experience or other out of topic discussions with locals & expatriates in Singapore.

User avatar
nakatago
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 8333
Joined: Tue, 01 Sep 2009
Location: Sister Margaret’s School for Wayward Children
Contact:

Passive-Aggressive Neighbors

Postby nakatago » Mon, 08 Aug 2011 1:26 pm

Try googling "Number of neighbour disputes hit high" with "Neighbours lack communication and increasingly intolerant: CMC."

As it turns out, we're not the only ones with passive-aggressive neighbors (click this for context) and the number is increasing. People can't seem to be bothered to approach their neighbors to settle things and would rather go out of their way to complain to government officials. Pretty amusing, actually, in a sad way. Also, check out the comment by "Steve." Sounds like someone's given in to xenophobia; probably another anonymous coward.

The police/authorities here probably should also make it an offense for wasting their time. :twisted:

User avatar
sundaymorningstaple
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 34786
Joined: Thu, 11 Nov 2004
Location: Still Fishing!
Contact:

Postby sundaymorningstaple » Mon, 08 Aug 2011 2:01 pm

Case 1: A family, who had just moved here from China, had resorted to mediation because they could not stand the smell of curry that their Singaporean Indian neighbours would often cook. The Indian family, who were mindful of their neighbour's aversion, had already taken to closing their doors and windows whenever they cooked the dish, but this was not enough.

"They said: 'Can you please do something? Can you don't cook curry? Can you don't eat curry?'," said Madam Marcellina Giam, a Community Mediation Centre mediator. But the Indian family stood firm. In the end, Mdm Giam got the Indian family to agree to cook curry only when the Chinese family was not home. In return, they wanted their Chinese neighbours to at least give their dish a try.


You will notice, it was the minority who had to change their ethnic eating habits. :-|

User avatar
nakatago
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 8333
Joined: Tue, 01 Sep 2009
Location: Sister Margaret’s School for Wayward Children
Contact:

Postby nakatago » Mon, 08 Aug 2011 2:08 pm

sundaymorningstaple wrote:
Case 1: A family, who had just moved here from China, had resorted to mediation because they could not stand the smell of curry that their Singaporean Indian neighbours would often cook. The Indian family, who were mindful of their neighbour's aversion, had already taken to closing their doors and windows whenever they cooked the dish, but this was not enough.

"They said: 'Can you please do something? Can you don't cook curry? Can you don't eat curry?'," said Madam Marcellina Giam, a Community Mediation Centre mediator. But the Indian family stood firm. In the end, Mdm Giam got the Indian family to agree to cook curry only when the Chinese family was not home. In return, they wanted their Chinese neighbours to at least give their dish a try.


You will notice, it was the minority who had to change their ethnic eating habits. :-|


Some commenters on the original article have the same sentiment.

therat
Reporter
Reporter
Posts: 518
Joined: Thu, 04 Sep 2008

Postby therat » Mon, 08 Aug 2011 3:00 pm

What I notice is local Singaporean give way to FOREIGNER

User avatar
nakatago
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 8333
Joined: Tue, 01 Sep 2009
Location: Sister Margaret’s School for Wayward Children
Contact:

Postby nakatago » Mon, 08 Aug 2011 3:14 pm

therat wrote:What I notice is local Singaporean give way to FOREIGNER


That was just one case; it may have been highlighted as some form of bias (or not). It could still cut both ways.

I'm sure we all have our stories to tell so let's not get into a "us vs them" debate.

User avatar
durain
Director
Director
Posts: 3666
Joined: Thu, 23 Aug 2007
Location: Location: Location: Location:

Postby durain » Mon, 08 Aug 2011 5:03 pm

morning glory and belachan can smell just as bad but so yummy... :D

curiousgeorge
Reporter
Reporter
Posts: 549
Joined: Thu, 03 Jan 2008
Location: Singapore

Postby curiousgeorge » Mon, 08 Aug 2011 7:38 pm

Shortly after I moved into my new apartment, I got a vist from security.

Apparently my new dining chairs are annoyingly audible in the flat below, I was asked if I could refrain from moving the chairs after 7pm as the flat below doesn't like it when watching TV. Fair enough.

So the next evening on my way home from work, I stopped off to apologise and show them the new felt pads I would be installing on each chair leg that very night, and to say that if there is any problem in the future, here is my number, please call and let me know. The man of the house dared to open the door only 3" and mumbled god-knows-what before shutting me out.

A few minutes later I got another visit from security, asking me don't bother the neighbours, if I have a problem to talk to them. :???:

So now I am sure to scrape the chairs non-stop every night I am home until 6.59pm ;)

User avatar
BillyB
Manager
Manager
Posts: 1807
Joined: Fri, 23 Jul 2010
Location: My laptop

Postby BillyB » Mon, 08 Aug 2011 9:35 pm

curiousgeorge wrote:Shortly after I moved into my new apartment, I got a vist from security.

Apparently my new dining chairs are annoyingly audible in the flat below, I was asked if I could refrain from moving the chairs after 7pm as the flat below doesn't like it when watching TV. Fair enough.

So the next evening on my way home from work, I stopped off to apologise and show them the new felt pads I would be installing on each chair leg that very night, and to say that if there is any problem in the future, here is my number, please call and let me know. The man of the house dared to open the door only 3" and mumbled god-knows-what before shutting me out.

A few minutes later I got another visit from security, asking me don't bother the neighbours, if I have a problem to talk to them. :???:

So now I am sure to scrape the chairs non-stop every night I am home until 6.59pm ;)


I'd also buy a box of nails, a hammer, a big plank of old wood and practice your DIY skills just to p*ss them off even more.....

User avatar
nakatago
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 8333
Joined: Tue, 01 Sep 2009
Location: Sister Margaret’s School for Wayward Children
Contact:

Postby nakatago » Sat, 13 Aug 2011 3:19 pm

About the curry in the original article, I just found this jaunty little ditty: http://youtu.be/QWvgIr_YawI

@curiousgeorge: I know a place where you can get tap dance lessons (DISCLAIMER: I gain no benefit if I recommend them, woof-woof).

Tigerslayer
Chatter
Chatter
Posts: 153
Joined: Sat, 16 Apr 2011

Postby Tigerslayer » Sat, 13 Aug 2011 4:09 pm

Following on from the youtube link I love this Facebook reaction event :lol:

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=254441147918239

User avatar
nakatago
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 8333
Joined: Tue, 01 Sep 2009
Location: Sister Margaret’s School for Wayward Children
Contact:

Postby nakatago » Sat, 13 Aug 2011 4:21 pm

Tigerslayer wrote:Following on from the youtube link I love this Facebook reaction event :lol:

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=254441147918239


I am incensed at this!

They didn't post a recipe. What if I don't know how to cook curry?!?

/sarcasm

User avatar
ksl
Governor
Governor
Posts: 6005
Joined: Mon, 19 Jul 2004
Location: Singapore
Contact:

Postby ksl » Sat, 13 Aug 2011 5:54 pm

Solutions to the problems.

Be prepared for the machete attack, when language is a problem, as the frustration and misunderstanding can be intolerable :lol:
http://www.amazon.com/SAS-Survival-Hand ... 309&sr=8-3

User avatar
Splatted
Reporter
Reporter
Posts: 892
Joined: Sun, 11 Jul 2004

Postby Splatted » Sun, 14 Aug 2011 11:34 am

BillyB wrote:
curiousgeorge wrote:Shortly after I moved into my new apartment, I got a vist from security.

Apparently my new dining chairs are annoyingly audible in the flat below, I was asked if I could refrain from moving the chairs after 7pm as the flat below doesn't like it when watching TV. Fair enough.

So the next evening on my way home from work, I stopped off to apologise and show them the new felt pads I would be installing on each chair leg that very night, and to say that if there is any problem in the future, here is my number, please call and let me know. The man of the house dared to open the door only 3" and mumbled god-knows-what before shutting me out.

A few minutes later I got another visit from security, asking me don't bother the neighbours, if I have a problem to talk to them. :???:

So now I am sure to scrape the chairs non-stop every night I am home until 6.59pm ;)


I'd also buy a box of nails, a hammer, a big plank of old wood and practice your DIY skills just to p*ss them off even more.....


or accidently drop some coins.... daily

User avatar
Brah
Manager
Manager
Posts: 1956
Joined: Sat, 18 Dec 2010

Postby Brah » Sun, 14 Aug 2011 11:44 am

We've had that problem with former neighbors above us, and always try to respect those below us, so I think what you did was good and is really what, where I come from at least, any normal decent human would or should do.

It shouldn't be negated however by what you put in your last sentence - you started out taking the High Road, I personally think it's best to stay on it and not stoop to the level of those who choose the other path.


I know, you said it in jest...

curiousgeorge wrote:Shortly after I moved into my new apartment, I got a vist from security.

Apparently my new dining chairs are annoyingly audible in the flat below, I was asked if I could refrain from moving the chairs after 7pm as the flat below doesn't like it when watching TV. Fair enough.

So the next evening on my way home from work, I stopped off to apologise and show them the new felt pads I would be installing on each chair leg that very night, and to say that if there is any problem in the future, here is my number, please call and let me know. The man of the house dared to open the door only 3" and mumbled god-knows-what before shutting me out.

A few minutes later I got another visit from security, asking me don't bother the neighbours, if I have a problem to talk to them. :???:

So now I am sure to scrape the chairs non-stop every night I am home until 6.59pm ;)

User avatar
JR8
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 16514
Joined: Wed, 24 Mar 2010
Location: K. Puki Manis

Postby JR8 » Sun, 14 Aug 2011 3:36 pm

Splatted wrote:or accidently drop some coins.... daily


Bouncing a golf-ball on the floor is like Chinese water torture.


Return to “General Discussions”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest