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BillyB
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Re: Yep

Postby BillyB » Wed, 17 Aug 2011 12:40 pm

x9200 wrote:
BillyB wrote:Personally, I'd only have kids when as a couple we're completely financially stable and emotionally (in the sense there is no longer the 'we, we, we, we' attitude to going out, travelling etc) ready so that we can devote ourselves completely to them. I certainly wouldn't subject them to moving every few years to chase a little more dollar, neither would I palm them off with a foreigner / maid before they are at least 4/5 and started school.

I'm not saying it's the right way, but it's a view that I strobgly believe in. The first 4/5 years are crucial in the development of a child so i believe they should be with at least one of the parents for the majority of that time. It's not feasible for everyone to do this, but you asked for my personal view.

We had waited till we were ready for near 7 years and figured out in one point that we were as much ready as it gets. Time is ticking. More-less settle down in Singapore. Surely it would be much better to take care of the kid till he is the said 4/5 but this would kill my wife's business and also have financial impact on our plans on the kid's future education. On the other hand, so many generations used nannies/maids/nurseries before and looks like pretty many people are far enough for any forms of acute social pathology. I believe it is important how the parents are engaged in the upbringing process and they still can do it with the maids pretty effectively. This goes well beyond the age of 4 and probably majority of the disasters tends to happen slightly later.
For the time being we found a pretty good local nanny and have her part time. She is also hired by another expat family so there is a real risk L-in maid may come to direct focus sooner or later.


It's a good point. I'm looking at it from an ideal perspective of course and, as we know, the best laid plans don't always work out. But that's my plan of action!

To clarify - maybe I did make a sweeping generalisation and it wasn't aimed at all, especially those with both parents working if that's a necessity. My beef on maids is aimed at those who don't work and think they are too busy to look after their kids because they lunch every day and have to be out in the evening wining and dining, and it's like the kids take a backseat in their lives.

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nakatago
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Re: Yep

Postby nakatago » Wed, 17 Aug 2011 1:13 pm

BillyB wrote: My beef on maids is aimed at those who don't work and think they are too busy to look after their kids because they lunch every day and have to be out in the evening whining and dining, and it's like the kids take a backseat in their lives.


FTFY

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BillyB
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Re: Yep

Postby BillyB » Wed, 17 Aug 2011 1:32 pm

nakatago wrote:
BillyB wrote: My beef on maids is aimed at those who don't work and think they are too busy to look after their kids because they lunch every day and have to be out in the evening whining and dining, and it's like the kids take a backseat in their lives.


FTFY


Funny, I did think of writing that too!!

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Postby Sonar » Wed, 17 Aug 2011 8:53 pm

Then I guess its really more a comment on bad parenting than on maids.

Actually I happen to agree with you. There are plenty of ways to be a bad parent, and one of them is definitely hiring a maid because you have the opportunity to live like a "rich" person.

I have heard of "the ladies who lunch". I don't know any, but I'm sure they are out there.

To be honest, I have more trouble understanding why couples with no kids have live-in maids.

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sundaymorningstaple
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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Wed, 17 Aug 2011 10:22 pm

The buy little dogs that make strange yapping noises and when they get tired of them, the either abandon them, or make the maid take care of them like they would have to do it the couple had the unfortunate accident an reproduced, giving the world even more myopic mental midgets.

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Postby Mary Hatch Bailey » Thu, 18 Aug 2011 8:03 am

Sonar wrote:To be honest, I have more trouble understanding why couples with no kids have live-in maids.


Because they have health issues and need an extra set of hands

Because they have pets and travel

Because they do a lot of entertaining

Because they can afford it and want one

:roll:

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BillyB
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Postby BillyB » Thu, 18 Aug 2011 12:10 pm

Mary Hatch Bailey wrote:
Sonar wrote:To be honest, I have more trouble understanding why couples with no kids have live-in maids.


Because they have health issues and need an extra set of hands

Because they have pets and travel

Because they do a lot of entertaining

Because they can afford it and want one

:roll:


Lucky pets! Mine make do with a cat sitter....

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nakatago
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Postby nakatago » Thu, 18 Aug 2011 12:15 pm

If only pets can be trained to mind the house or do some basic chores...

....oh, wait.

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BillyB
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Postby BillyB » Thu, 18 Aug 2011 12:19 pm

nakatago wrote:If only pets can be trained to mind the house or do some basic chores...

....oh, wait.


Lol!! He's got some swallowing skills - did you see the size of the fish he gulped down!

Do you reckon he could learn how to set a recording schedule on Starhub?

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Postby JayCee » Thu, 18 Aug 2011 12:35 pm

Mary Hatch Bailey wrote:
Sonar wrote:To be honest, I have more trouble understanding why couples with no kids have live-in maids.


Because they have health issues and need an extra set of hands

Because they have pets and travel

Because they do a lot of entertaining

Because they can afford it and want one

:roll:


The final 2 points are what BillyB was talking about. Surely if people have kids they should be prepared to make a sacrifice or two and actually spend some time with the said offspring? If "entertaining" is more important than being a parent to some people, well that's just sad
I HAVE MASTERS!

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x9200
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Postby x9200 » Thu, 18 Aug 2011 12:59 pm

JayCee wrote:
Mary Hatch Bailey wrote:
Sonar wrote:To be honest, I have more trouble understanding why couples with no kids have live-in maids.


Because they have health issues and need an extra set of hands

Because they have pets and travel

Because they do a lot of entertaining

Because they can afford it and want one

:roll:


The final 2 points are what BillyB was talking about. Surely if people have kids they should be prepared to make a sacrifice or two and actually spend some time with the said offspring? If "entertaining" is more important than being a parent to some people, well that's just sad

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Postby JayCee » Thu, 18 Aug 2011 1:24 pm

x9200 wrote:
JayCee wrote:
Mary Hatch Bailey wrote:
Sonar wrote:To be honest, I have more trouble understanding why couples with no kids have live-in maids.


Because they have health issues and need an extra set of hands

Because they have pets and travel

Because they do a lot of entertaining

Because they can afford it and want one

:roll:


The final 2 points are what BillyB was talking about. Surely if people have kids they should be prepared to make a sacrifice or two and actually spend some time with the said offspring? If "entertaining" is more important than being a parent to some people, well that's just sad


Oops.

Still tend to agree with Sonar's sentiments though. It's funny how 99% of the planet seem to do alright without live-in help, yet in Singapore it would appear to be deemed as an essential part of life by a large number of people, especially the expat (stepford) wives brigade
I HAVE MASTERS!

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x9200
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Postby x9200 » Thu, 18 Aug 2011 1:39 pm

I think it is not that bad. It only appears so. The wives brigade is somehow visually annoying and stick out from the crowd - at least I notice them this way in places like CS.

It would be interesting to know the income distribution for the foreigners in SG together with maids/no maids, kids, and the employment status.

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Postby intime0 » Thu, 18 Aug 2011 2:03 pm

We all make adjustments and sacrifices as we see fit.

There will NEVER be a time in my life (as a homeschooling mom of 5) where I will be able to have help with cleaning, cooking and laundry. YOU BET I'm taking it.

Our home in America was 1/4 the size it is now.

We don't pay for our home or car.

So yep, we have a little extra money, that we wont have at home, and a lot of extra room.

I say, why NOT? And why would anyone care anyway, as long as you are treating them the way your employer treats you? In fact, I can't remember the last time my husband got a day off because he had a birthday.

Maybe some people spend that money on vacations, or eating out, or on a new, expensive car.

Me? I LOVE the help!!! I actually have time to read now. I have read so many books...it's wonderful.

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Thu, 18 Aug 2011 2:53 pm

JayCee wrote:
x9200 wrote:
JayCee wrote:
Mary Hatch Bailey wrote:
Sonar wrote:To be honest, I have more trouble understanding why couples with no kids have live-in maids.


Because they have health issues and need an extra set of hands

Because they have pets and travel

Because they do a lot of entertaining

Because they can afford it and want one

:roll:


The final 2 points are what BillyB was talking about. Surely if people have kids they should be prepared to make a sacrifice or two and actually spend some time with the said offspring? If "entertaining" is more important than being a parent to some people, well that's just sad


Oops.


Oops.........

......just can't resist! Your masters is showing! :lol:


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