Foreigners Divorce in Singapore!

[JayCee]

You keep talking about what your rights are, and what the law says and all this other stuff, it shows what your priorities in your marriage are.

If you truly want to be with him you can just sign the agreement and he'll bring you to the states so you can be together as a family, which you claim you want. Saying that you won't feel like you're in a proper marriage and all this other stuff simply because you can't get half his stuff if/when you divorce doesn't look like YOU'RE very devoted either.

I'd advise you to stop digging as you're just making yourself look more and more like a green card hungry golddigger, if you truly want to be with him then you have that avenue open to you, it's up to you whether you let these so-called 'Rights' that you're so obsessed with stop that

[earthfriendly]

OP you keep harping about your rights. Wives have rights and so do the husbands. The 7 years that you invest in the relation, I don't see it as wasted. I also have a very long term ex boyfriend. Even though the relationship did not come to a fruition, it had given me many wonderful memories and enriched my life. Nobody put a gun to my head, I got into the relationship on my own accord. I take responsibility for it.

[x9200]

It is a bit have the cake and eat the cake situation. OP is unhappy and I don't really think her husband will ever change the way she will be happy. I am also surprised how much effort she puts here for the legal part.
OP: I guess everybody understands that you have the rights but I guess for many this is just not what is the marriage about. If I were you we had already be divorced for blackmailing me with the post nups stuff.

[Wind In My Hair]

If I were you we had already be divorced for blackmailing me with the post nups stuff.

Do I understand correctly that you agree with the OP that she is being blackmailed into signing the post nup?

I used to find the idea of pre/post nup very unromantic, but as I grow older I lean more and more towards very separate financial accounting, and think it fair that each gets to keep their pre-marital assets, including the income generated by these assets. What each chooses to contribute to the marriage from this income is entirely up to her. But in the event of a divorce, I want to know that what was mine is still mine.

But I know some people who view the very suggestion of a pre or post nup as a lack of something important in the relationship (trust? unity? commitment?) and perhaps OP belongs to this more traditional group. It doesn't necessarily mean she is a gold digger.

[sundaymorningstaple]

Kinda takes the meaning out of marriage don't it. Why marry in the first place then? It's like you are getting married with the anticipation of getting a divorce later on. If you have that much doubt going into the marriage, why bother? Just cohabitant and operate it like a Joint Venture, where each brings something to the Venture but retains ownership of it, and the profits of those things during the venture are jointly held, but the assets still belong to the individual member of the venture. Kinda takes the joy and reasons out of the union doesn't it.

[x9200]

If I were you we had already be divorced for blackmailing me with the post nups stuff.

Do I understand correctly that you agree with the OP that she is being blackmailed into signing the post nup?

As for what I understood from her posts - yes.

I used to find the idea of pre/post nup very unromantic, but as I grow older I lean more and more towards very separate financial accounting, and think it fair that each gets to keep their pre-marital assets, including the income generated by these assets. What each chooses to contribute to the marriage from this income is entirely up to her. But in the event of a divorce, I want to know that what was mine is still mine.

But I know some people who view the very suggestion of a pre or post nup as a lack of something important in the relationship (trust? unity? commitment?) and perhaps OP belongs to this more traditional group. It doesn't necessarily mean she is a gold digger.

I belong to that group too but this is kind of aside. I simply found unfair to let her join her husband under such condition. Sorry, this is a blackmail for me and assuming her intentions are honest, the worst type, using somebody's love and emotions.

[ksl]

Personally from her words it appears to be blackmail, however he his a lawyer, he should know better and be fair.

Even if she signs the post nup, not pre nup, she is still entitled to a fair share of the 7 years they have been togeather.

To consider her situation has hopeless in a court of law, would be a understatement. The law ensures fairness in most cases, and would look at the post nup, has what it stands for under the situation it is obviosly blackmail for her to sign it just to come to the US, to any judge!

I would just sign it if i was in love with the person, however after 7 years apart and under the circumstances, it does sound so much more like frustration, that the pot of gold is getting out of reach.

The guy obviously cares for his child, otherwise he wouldn't be sending any cash, though she makes him out to be the devil.

Two stories always and I'm afraid i have been ripped off twice in my life, and i'm not a rich person at all.

She shouldn't be afraid of signing the post nupe, just additional note of accepting a share of the 7 years. After all while she's been looking after his child, he's been able to build whatever he's built, and probably had a good time in the making. I think it's fair as he still appears to want her to come to the US too.

Experience tells many, that if importing a wife, ensure you safeguard your assets, as most are only after improving their life styles, not a great deal to do with love but a lot to do with survival.

[earthfriendly]

50 % of marriages end in divorces. And people don't enter into marriages hoping to get a divorce. You can't tell the future. And divorces can bankrupt you. A financial article on wealth preservation list divorces as a big no-no. It is easy to see why prenups are becoming more common.

I will not marry a person who wants a prenup.
- no faith in his own judgment to pick the right partner
- he is insecure in his ability to make it work
- lack of trust in other human and relationship.
- guarded personality

Despite the odds, there are still many good apples out there. You just have to learn to pick the right one. Being in a marriage is possibly the most intimate union you will ever have with another person in your entire life. I am willing to place my trust, love and effort in the relationship. If the other person can't do the same for me, what for?

If he can't even trust his own judgment, why should I put my trust in him?

[sundaymorningstaple]

And divorces can bankrupt you.

And divorces coupled with hurricanes can bankrupt you even faster. I can attest to that! 1972 was a very bad year!