This is what i am trying to explain to you, go out do what you normally do each day without worry, if you become entrapped in your sins, that is something you have to live with, i doubt you can change, even if you are together if it's the urge you get to be with someone else, you are not the only one that suffers this problem, conduct your life has you would normally, that is not to restrict you if you are promiscuous, has that normally doesn't change until you grow out of it, the same for the guy alsosggirl79 wrote:Compared to those couple who are seeing each other everyday, this is a torture for me and for anyone. I guess it boils down to individual on the limit. If you are talking/communication everyday, fine. If neither have the time to even talk for 1 min per day even in same timezone, this is kind of weird and frustrating.x9200 wrote:2000 miles away, once a month or two and you dare to complain!?sggirl79 wrote:Sometimes it is so tough to go on since me and my bf in different loations and we hardly see each other. Probably only once a month or once every two months. If he is not traveling out from China, he will be 1624 miles away, right now he on business trip, 2018 miles away.
Just hoping to find some consolation/support from anyone who are currently in/been through LDR. Nobody will understand how it feels unless they have been through the same before.
We were 12000 miles away for 1.5y and managed.
Anyway i am not complaining here, what's there to complain when it is my choice?
Just want to get advice on how to keep myself going strong emotionally while waiting for him to relocate to SG.
The point of love is love, not jealousy and no one is perfect. If it is becoming difficult for you, you need to ask yourself why?
It may appear that you have made the wrong choice or have doubts, only you can know yourself...and don't even imagine that you know your partner, unless you have super natural powers.
But don't use, your worry as a tool to manipulate his feelings, he's also suffering the same fate for you, but going on with his daily routine if he's any sense, (people in love generally lack sense by the way, only maturity and experience may help)
Women well, they get their men but mostly change due to hormone balance and take marriage for granted, only god knows how difficult and frustrating it is to love in a sexless marriage, as love and sex can be far from each other.
Though if one is inexperienced you wouldn't actually know, would you?
The reason i say this is that I had an affair once with a divorcee, she had been married for 15 years, and she started to cry when we made music. I felt so bad, and asked what was wrong, and she said she never realised that she could enjoy sex much and for 15 years, she had not experienced the same.
Her ex husband did his thing and that was it so it's all about many variables when one meets personally I'm quite open and straight to the point, as i see it pointless if one is not happy in the sack, though one can still love it's difficult to go without the sex! Individual privacy is everything, trust or not trust, shouldn't be a problem, when all that matters is love for each other.
If you are suffering these kind of conflicts, while separated you need to come to terms with it, without punishing yourself, honesty is important on both sides. It's only when one has played the field that rage and jealousy creeps in has it is a sacrifice of living, and while separated you are dead.
I have always said do what you want to do when i am away, I'm not asking you to wait for me.
In my first marriage I was a soldier, i had no choice but to be separated many times on long postings, though my wife couldn't handle it, even with 2 children to keep her busy, Though it was a combination of things that she made her choice to leave, the first was the stress of active service and watching it on TV, the second was she had no life of her own while away, 3rdly she was young mid 20's and missed the life that every woman in there 20's was enjoying.
I personally stayed single 23 years after my first marriage, and failed to give other relationships a chance, I would always lay my cards on the table and say this is how it is from now on, has trust was difficult for me, in the end I became indifferent and at ease with the idea of being separated life is a gamble anyway. So now i get criticised for not being jealous, that's okay has i don't worry about it.
In the end you get old and lonely, has the nightlife isn't appealing any longer. So my advice would be to just enjoy your life and let him do the same, if you love each other it will all turn out just fine, no need to torture yourselves, but let privacy remain that way.
Emotions are the problem, you need to learn to handle them, the best way you can, maybe go out more meditate and love yourself is very important, if you don't love yourself, how can you expect others to love you, confidence is everything dear, go out of your way and socialise more.