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Helper issue

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daneland
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Helper issue

Postby daneland » Sun, 01 May 2011 9:53 pm

My helper recently asked that she be allowed to sleep over at a relatives house on her day off. I told her no since I want to ensure she is safe. I do not know her relatives and I am responsible for paying for any medical attention she may need. If she is missing for two days (when there is a public holiday for example, I would have no way of ensuring she is safe). Please note that I allow her every Sunday as well as public holidays off and her curfew is relatively late (10 pm). Is it normal that helpers are allowed to sleep away from their employer's house? My helper was extremely upset.

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ksl
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Re: Helper issue

Postby ksl » Tue, 03 May 2011 9:01 am

daneland wrote:My helper recently asked that she be allowed to sleep over at a relatives house on her day off. I told her no since I want to ensure she is safe. I do not know her relatives and I am responsible for paying for any medical attention she may need. If she is missing for two days (when there is a public holiday for example, I would have no way of ensuring she is safe). Please note that I allow her every Sunday as well as public holidays off and her curfew is relatively late (10 pm). Is it normal that helpers are allowed to sleep away from their employer's house? My helper was extremely upset.


No it is not normal to allow the maid to overnight. You are fully responsible for her welfare legally! There are many maids that never get a day off, she is very fortunate to have a good family, do not let her manipulate you, because many will.

Normal is one day off a month...I'm afraid it's mostly expats, that are pretty soft with their maids, which appears not to be so good for them, especially when you leave, as they will only want to be employed by expats. This is not a bad thing, but it leads to the maids manipulating their employers if they can get away with it. It really does make it more and more difficult to control if you start relaxing too much.

Be warned you have totally full responsibility here for her welfare, and it can cost you an arm and a leg financially, if anything should happen, like pregnancy, accident and such.

You are her boss not her friend, take control remind her of her duties, locals are very reluctant to allow a maid freedom, for the same reasons you are now having.

Too much familiarity breeds contempt, remember you are not in your home Country, Singapore will throw the book at you and you could possibly end up in court or jail you, for irrisponsible behavior.

Think if she was to work on the streets of Geylang, where she can make a months wage in a night and was picked up for it! Or Orchad Towers!

Letting her out until 10pm at night is asking for trouble, It's very risky if she gets into bad company, locals would be appalled, at your relaxed behavior.

I can tell you only last week a Singaporean business family had 2 maids, that have been with them 1 year, one day the boss came home early and asked where one of the maids, as they are not allowed to leave the premises, their duties are to look after two elderly parents in their late 80's.

Anyway she had gone out shopping without permission.

Immediate dismissal and returned to the agency. All the maids are aware of agent contract rules and have been briefed by agents on how to behave. Agents are very strict, hence the reason to take care of how much freedom you allow her!
You should also read your insurance cover, and find out about your own liabilities! Good luck If you tighten up on her freedom and she plays up, return her to the agency, or just tell her you are cancelling her work permit.

She's taking you for a ride, if you ask me. Er de Danske?

If you decide to change maids later let me know, maybe i can inform a maid that I have known a couple of years.

She is wanting a position for $550 and will work 6.5 days and only takes 1 or 2 hrs on a sunday to visit the shopping mall, is about all she requests.
Dedicated to be close to the phone 7 days a week. Though she does have over 3 years experience here too and is mature 38.
She is supporting her auntie & uncle that raised her plus two kids 9 and 16 and is in the process of building her home, it is built just not finished.
Last edited by ksl on Tue, 03 May 2011 9:57 am, edited 3 times in total.

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JR8
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Postby JR8 » Tue, 03 May 2011 9:18 am

+1

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Re: Helper issue

Postby ecureilx » Tue, 03 May 2011 10:01 am

ksl wrote:Think if she was to work on the streets of Geylang, where she can make a months wage in a night and was picked up for it! Or Orchad Towers!


Not only do I agree with that, but also know dozens and dozens who do it .. for money, or otherwise ..

Letting her out until 10pm at night is asking for trouble, It's very risky if she gets into bad company, locals would be appalled, at your relaxed behavior.


That's not done .. as long as the maid is not into drinking, a 10 PM curfew is not too much .. and it helps, to maintain the morale ..

Immediate dismissal and returned to the agency. All the maids are aware of agent contract rules and have been briefed by agents on how to behave. Agents are very strict, hence the reason to take care of how much freedom you allow her!
You should also read your insurance cover, and find out about your own liabilities! Good luck If you tighten up on her freedom and she plays up, return her to the agency, or just tell her you are cancelling her work permit.


Yes .. despite those who jump in and yell for the rights of workers, after all, I wish I had a boss who was so lenient to me .. but, too bad. As long as I am paid, my boss expects me to deliver ..

+1

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Re: Helper issue

Postby Mary Hatch Bailey » Tue, 03 May 2011 10:34 am

ksl wrote:Normal is one day off a month...I'm afraid it's mostly expats, that are pretty soft with their maids

Please substitute 'soft' with 'fair'.

as they will only want to be employed by expats.

Can you imagine the gall of wanting better employers? The nerve of some people...


Letting her out until 10pm at night is asking for trouble, It's very risky if she gets into bad company,

Yes, and since she obviously has no moral standards or common sense it is up to you to not just employ her, but be her parental figure as well. It's a wonder MOM doesn't make you sign provisional adoption papers along with a employment contract.

locals would be appalled, at your relaxed behavior.

Then you must be doing something right! Congratulations! Carry on!


Anyway she had gone out shopping without permission.

No! That must have been why all those police cars were outside the Giant... Too bad there wasn't anyone else left at the house... Oh wait ~ there was.

Good luck If you tighten up on her freedom and she plays up, return her to the agency, or just tell her you are cancelling her work permit.

Yes, they are expendable after all... Always more poor, girls to take advantage of.

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Re: Helper issue

Postby ecureilx » Tue, 03 May 2011 10:58 am

Mary Hatch Bailey wrote:Yes, they are expendable after all... Always more poor, girls to take advantage of.


Ma'am, my 2 cents .. before I wind my neck in ..

Not everybody has a lot of money to go through the pain of paying for all the trouble (not that all maids are trouble- but ..not everybody gets the winning maid) .. when a maid scoots off .. and not everybody can afford to close an eye and say "ah never mind, what is 10,000 $ - it is peanuts .. " and not everybody can afford to pay the 100,000 $ plus for the hospitalisation fee, as an employer found out as his liability when his maid had a fallout with her BF and decided to jump out of the window ..

And as an ex-employer of maids, I can say, life is not fair, but then again, I was, and am still not rich to throw money away for all kinds of complications .. like my maid who was caught in OT .. and the other one who disappeared for a romantic weekend in Malaysia ..

You should file a human rights violation case against the Singapore govt, for placing such strict rules for employers, when it comes for maids and the safety of maids .. :D

I know, I should have been more kind, and not have employed a maid, in the first place, and my thinking that my employing a maid and providing her a better life, which made one less person in this unfair world go hungry along with her family was the big mistake .. apart from the fact that I could have managed without the maid .. and that employing a maid was a 'little' luxury I could afford at that time ..

I became the unfair boss, for employing the maid .. yah, it was very unfair to fork out the 1,000 $ plus, every month, and the fair deal would have been to save that money .. and let her + her family + kids all go hungry living out on squalor .. back in her home town ..

over and out ..

PS: do you want to donate some money to TWC2 - so they can help out the needy maids ???

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Re: Helper issue

Postby JR8 » Tue, 03 May 2011 11:13 am

Mary Hatch Bailey wrote:
ksl wrote:Normal is one day off a month...I'm afraid it's mostly expats, that are pretty soft with their maids

Please substitute 'soft' with 'fair'.

as they will only want to be employed by expats.

Can you imagine the gall of wanting better employers? The nerve of some people...


Letting her out until 10pm at night is asking for trouble, It's very risky if she gets into bad company,

Yes, and since she obviously has no moral standards or common sense it is up to you to not just employ her, but be her parental figure as well. It's a wonder MOM doesn't make you sign provisional adoption papers along with a employment contract.

locals would be appalled, at your relaxed behavior.

Then you must be doing something right! Congratulations! Carry on!


Anyway she had gone out shopping without permission.

No! That must have been why all those police cars were outside the Giant... Too bad there wasn't anyone else left at the house... Oh wait ~ there was.

Good luck If you tighten up on her freedom and she plays up, return her to the agency, or just tell her you are cancelling her work permit.

Yes, they are expendable after all... Always more poor, girls to take advantage of.


Do you speak to your maids in the same manner?

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Re: Helper issue

Postby Mary Hatch Bailey » Tue, 03 May 2011 11:17 am

ecureilx wrote:
Mary Hatch Bailey wrote:Yes, they are expendable after all... Always more poor, girls to take advantage of.


Ma'am, my 2 cents .. before I wind my neck in ..

Not everybody has a lot of money to go through the pain of paying for all the trouble


Why is this about money... again... ?

Here's the point, and here's
























you.

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Re: Helper issue

Postby ecureilx » Tue, 03 May 2011 11:33 am

Mary Hatch Bailey wrote:Why is this about money... again... ?


Money aint' nothing .. yep ..

And the OP was must be wondering what kind of hornet's nest he stirred up ..









was it your maid who was doing the topless dancing at the Naughty Girl, Last Sunday at 11 PM ?? :D :D

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Postby Mary Hatch Bailey » Tue, 03 May 2011 12:20 pm

Whoever said 'money ain't nothing' must have had Asbergers. Money is indeed something, I just think it is not the basis of every argument.

Being kind to your maid doesn't cost a cent.

As far as what my maid was doing at 11pm on Sunday, well I think you should ask her since it is entirely her business and none of mine ~ and unless she breaks the law, no one else's.

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Postby ecureilx » Tue, 03 May 2011 3:29 pm

Mary Hatch Bailey wrote:Being kind to your maid doesn't cost a cent.


Yes, I was too kind .. :D Until I was left in total disarray + threatened with a lawsuit ..

As far as what my maid was doing at 11pm on Sunday, well I think you should ask her since it is entirely her business and none of mine ~ and unless she breaks the law, no one else's.


Yes, got it .. just be ready to fork out the fine ++ if the cops come knocking when she gets caught for her topless antics .. :D :D

(no ma'am, I don't know your maid, and don't wanna know your maid .. and don't think I would want to know her anyway ..

my comment was made tongue in cheek, and yes, there are maids who go the whole nine-yards to win a bottle of whiskey in tea dances .. and a lot more .. )

over and out ..

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Postby Mary Hatch Bailey » Tue, 03 May 2011 4:20 pm

You weren't left in 'total disarray + threatened with a lawsuit' because you were too kind, it was because the person you employed did something wrong.

And yes, some maids do bad things. Quite a revelation, that. It doesn't justify overzealous supervision or poor treatment for all though, as you seem to suggest.

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Postby ecureilx » Tue, 03 May 2011 6:03 pm

Mary Hatch Bailey wrote:You weren't left in 'total disarray + threatened with a lawsuit' because you were too kind, it was because the person you employed did something wrong.


Not one, but the three, in one way or other .. and no, I didn't pick them out from the K bars - they were referred by agents .. and well ..

And yes, some maids do bad things. Quite a revelation, that. It doesn't justify overzealous supervision or poor treatment for all though, as you seem to suggest.


No ma'am, I don't recommend poor treatment, and don't condone ill treatment of maids (my volunteering for their welfare for years is proof enough I guess)

I think I lost my message somewhere ..

Have a great day ..

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Postby batgirl_cdn » Sat, 18 Jun 2011 9:39 am

daneland, you could always ask to meet her relatives. Our helper sleeps over at her relative's or friend's house a few times a year, usually during Christmas or another public holiday. I've discussed with my helper that her time off is her time off to do what she pleases, but she cannot do anything that would get us into trouble with the authorities. She's been very respectful and responsible. We've met many of her friends and relatives and she often shows us pictures of herself and friends having a nice time on off-days, at Botanic Garden or Sentosa etc.

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Postby JR8 » Sat, 18 Jun 2011 9:55 am

Thank heavens she doesn't get on down at Orchard Towers (etc) eh?


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