Parodying every other post...

[nakatago]

. Is "Travel buddies wanted" a euphemism for a hedonistic orgy in an exotic locale?

For females, it's a genuine call for other females to travel with ("Let's go, girl-fRIend!"). For men, they're hoping for that unlikely chance that they'll get some.

[ecureilx]

[serious post]

This is too funny. I didn't know this thread (parody one) existed, but I've always wondered about these guys... I've also always wondered about all of these people looking for total strangers to go on trips with them. Is "Travel buddies wanted" a euphemism for a hedonistic orgy in an exotic locale?

[A serious reply .. ]

That is from guys who think women overseas are 'liberated' and will jump into any 'expats' bed ..

Seen enough and I gave up telling them that Hollywood isn't an exact copy of real life ..

Still you will be amazed by the number of 'well travelled' guys, who don't know how to behave .. like the guy who squeeze the bottom of a girl in the swimming pool of Royal Park Hotel - well travelled Expat, but assumed every white woman's bottom in Singapore is for squeezing ..

Oh .. the best and classical I one - last week - in a bar in CQ - a guy, drinking RED Wine, wallows over to where me and my friends were chatting and starts off "hi guys .. can I join you for a smoke ?" and we were like .. "this better be good" and the guy looks at one of my female friends and goes "babe, wanna come over to my MBS room for a night cap .. " - if we didn't know better we would have made him mincemeat .. and the bar security would have looked the other side if we decided to 'educate' the well dressed guy ..

Yes, a lot of guys like that do exist !!!!!!!!!

[JayCee]

Semi-joke, Semi-serious, but definitely a trend I've noticed



Thread 1 started by: Rajesh345
Hi all,
I've been offered a job in Singapore on 5K a month, I'll be moving from India with my wife and kid. Is it enough to live there?

Reply: Member 1

Do you have masters?

Reply: Member 2

No, you need more, don't come here.

Reply: Member 3 (mod)

Another foreign talent, no wonder the locals complain!

Reply: Member 4

Ever heard of google?



Thread 2 started by: Lucy123

Hiiiiiiii,

I'm moving from the States to Singapore with my husband and beautiful daughter of 3 and son of 5. It's sooo exciting!!!! We don't really know anything about Singapore but my husband has been offered 20K a month, is this enough to have a good life and where would be a good place to live?

Thanks so much, so excited!!


Reply: Member 1

Hi Lucy, welcome to Singapore First of all, you'll probably want to find out where your kids' school is and look to stay in a place nearby, if you let us know where that is we can make suggestions.

Regarding money, that salary is good so you shouldn't struggle for anything, just bear in mind that if you want to buy western food it'll cost a bit more here. But local food is good here too with many food courts and hawker centres. Alcohol is expensive though.

If you want to ask anything else just post it here, good luck with the move

Reply: Member 2 (mod)

Will you have a car? Public transport here is very good and cheap but with 2 little ones going to school you might want a car, this website has a good classified section.

Reply: Member 3

Will you be working too or staying home? You can get a maid who will look after the children and clean the house, the agency we used for ours has been good so far so PM me for the details if interested

Reply: Member 4

That salary should be enough for you to get a nice condo in most parts of town. It depends on where your kids' school is but if you get a car that won't be such a big deal. Or do you prefer to stay in a house? There are some nice landed houses around Singapore but they'll cost a bit more.

I'd suggest taking a look at East coast, Newton/Novena, Harbourfront, and Orchard areas. There are some lovely condos near East coast park if you go there, in particular One Amber, the Esta and the Seaview, also silversea and the shore will be opening soon. At harbourfront you've got Caribbean which is nice although the rooms are a bit small, there's also harbourlights which opened up recently and...(ad nauseum for half a page about every condo in harbourfront, novena and orchard)

Reply: Member 5

Also see if you can get the kids school fees included and American club membership

.......................

[Mi Amigo]

Hello, I have read the forum and found it very helpful, now I want to ask a question. I wish to apply for PR with my wife as we love Singapore want to make it our home for the next 50 years. However our son is allergic to khaki and may need to go abroad for treatment from time to time, so we will not include him in the application. Can you advise me on the best way for him to stay here without having PR?

Well I can recommend a good local allergy specialist for your son. Also, there are some options for LTVP that you can consider. Good luck.

Why don't you just Phrack Orf - we don't want your kind here .

Feel free to continue the thread...

[JR8]

I haven't read this topic for several months, and had missed some really Sterling quality stuff.


Thanks for perking up my afternoon people!

[BillyB]

Hi, I'm asking this question on behalf of my friend, co-worker, uncle etc..........

..........he's just caught an STD and his cock is about to drop off. What should he do and can you recommend a good clinic in Geylang?

Thanks for any advice - I'll be sure to pass it straight onto him

A

[nutnut]

Billy, this is the wrong thread mate, these kinds of problems should be in Beauty Health and Fitness!

[the lynx]

Billy, this is the wrong thread mate, these kinds of problems should be in Beauty Health and Fitness!

It is a parody thread, lah!

[sundaymorningstaple]

Hi, I'm asking this question on behalf of my friend, co-worker, uncle etc..........

..........he's just caught an STD and his cock is about to drop off. What should he do and can you recommend a good clinic in Geylang?

Thanks for any advice - I'll be sure to pass it straight onto him

A

A tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time.

A week after arriving back home, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says: "I've got bad news for you - you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it".

The man looks a little perplexed and says: "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc".

The doctor answers: "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis".

The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion".

The doctor replies: "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice".

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely lare disease".

The guy says to the doctor: "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!"

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: "Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. Make more money that way. No need to opelate!"

"Oh, Thank God!", the man replies.

"Yes", says the Chinese doctor, "You no worry! Wait two weeks. Dick fall off by itself! You save money."

[BillyB]

Hi, I'm asking this question on behalf of my friend, co-worker, uncle etc..........

..........he's just caught an STD and his cock is about to drop off. What should he do and can you recommend a good clinic in Geylang?

Thanks for any advice - I'll be sure to pass it straight onto him

A

A tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time.

A week after arriving back home, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says: "I've got bad news for you - you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it".

The man looks a little perplexed and says: "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc".

The doctor answers: "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis".

The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion".

The doctor replies: "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice".

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely lare disease".

The guy says to the doctor: "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!"

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: "Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. Make more money that way. No need to opelate!"

"Oh, Thank God!", the man replies.

"Yes", says the Chinese doctor, "You no worry! Wait two weeks. Dick fall off by itself! You save money."

[nutnut]

Hi, I'm asking this question on behalf of my friend, co-worker, uncle etc..........

..........he's just caught an STD and his cock is about to drop off. What should he do and can you recommend a good clinic in Geylang?

Thanks for any advice - I'll be sure to pass it straight onto him

A

A tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time.

A week after arriving back home, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says: "I've got bad news for you - you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it".

The man looks a little perplexed and says: "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc".

The doctor answers: "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis".

The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion".

The doctor replies: "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice".

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely lare disease".

The guy says to the doctor: "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!"

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: "Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. Make more money that way. No need to opelate!"

"Oh, Thank God!", the man replies.

"Yes", says the Chinese doctor, "You no worry! Wait two weeks. Dick fall off by itself! You save money."

Vely funny!

[Mi Amigo]

I haven't read this topic for several months, and had missed some really Sterling quality stuff.


Thanks for perking up my afternoon people!

I still think your airline job spoof thread is the best. Pasting it here for those who haven't seen it before...

Candelnut:
Hey good new, Skeet Airway announces it’s launch!
www.Straightime/SkeetAirLaunch

------------------------------------------------------------------------
PrettyLips:
I hear they’re interviewing, starting 20th March.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Maximus Chew:
Yah oso here

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Airside:
The first round is on the 20th March. Applications to be in by the 14th.
Please see the website for further details
_________________________
‘Skeet Air – Executive Head of Recruitment [Shine like a star!]’

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Fatboy:
mebbe dey stat interbiew soon. anybon know

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twinkle-tips:
I’ve been invited to come interview on the 20th. I’m so nervous!!! What
do they mean 'minimum height 150cm'?

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fatboy:
They stat interbiewing oredy issit?
Don’t borry, you be fie

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anastasia:
I’m also going on the 20th. Anyone else. Shall we meet for coffee and all go together!!?
Oh, and I’ve got pimples and not so great teeth. Will it be ok, will it, will it will it?
I’ve so nervous!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Candlenut:
Round one easy leh , round two is tomorrow!!!
But why they ask who I would have my last meal with. I just reply you know my friend
and stuff.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Basil Cholmondley-Smith:
One might (or might not) prognosticate that the question was not entirely a direct
question. Rather one might surmise that in fact they were probing and seeking to
determine your creative boundaries.
Either way, semantically speaking, knowingly or otherwise, you have answered their question.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fatboy:
Who was tat?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PrettyLips:
Donno, think he gone tho.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Airside:
Good luck everybody!
_________________________
‘Skeet Air – Executive Head of Recruitment [Don’t be bitter – Glitter!]’

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Candlenut:
Macey just called, and I pass. Training start May!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twinkle-tips:
I haven’t had called. So nervous!!!! I had missed call yesterday,
does Macey number end like – 8888?
Someone say something.... I need to know!!!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fatboy:
T-T yah oso same. Nobone call me2 but I not sent in application yet ah

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Candlenut:
Don’t worry be patient lah. I’m sure you’ll be fine !!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twinkle-tips:
I hear we have to share uniform!!! Is budget airline tho???

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fatboy:
Tats jus gross, not share by clobe wib nobone

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Airside:
Remember everyone, ‘Aim for the moon and even if you miss you will land amongst the stars’.
_________________________
‘Skeet Air – Executive Head of Recruitment [Be your best – be yourself]’

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PrettyLips:
Still no call. Anyone else. I don't think I pass. Is there still chance?
Is it alright. I really really nervous now more than ever!!!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[continues for 15,000+ posts]

Cracks me up every time

[zzm9980]

hello friends

i am a waste removal engineer with a MASTERS from a very famous university . i am looking to migrate with my family to either singapore or belarus .

can you please tll me the difference between these two places and give PROS and CONS of both ?

thanks .

[Mi Amigo]

Have you considered Turkmenistan as well? My cousin just moved there and he has taken all his family including aunts and uncles etc. plus they also granted visas for his herd of goats too. He already has PR in Australia, Ethiopia, Belize and Liechtenstein, but he is also looking for Singapore PR next year, then SC, as he tells me he really wants to settle down here. I told him he should at least visit the place first but he says I'm being "so 20th century" in my outlook.

[zzm9980]

Have you considered Turkmenistan as well? My cousin just moved there and he has taken all his family including aunts and uncles etc. plus they also granted visas for his herd of goats too. He already has PR in Australia, Ethiopia, Belize and Liechtenstein, but he is also looking for Singapore PR next year, then SC, as he tells me he really wants to settle down here. I told him he should at least visit the place first but he says I'm being "so 20th century" in my outlook.

thank you for your post . please tell me ideal profile i should put on VISA APPLICATION for turkmenistan so i will receive approval for my family and my goats. also i have very good agent that assures me can already give me singapore PR for only 10 lahk.