Fernando Torres and his new laptop

[Asdracles]

I heard that Torres scored twice in a match with Chelsea. Do you know what he did after that??

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He switched off his Playstation!

[Saint]

Chelsea have taken just taken out a super injunction that prevents their next manager from naming Torres................ in the squad

[BillyB]

A few from the Ryan Giggs pool:

Ryan Giggs today admitted to suffering from homesickness, saying that even though he's happy in Manchester he does Miss Wales occasionally

Ryan Giggs and Imogen Thomas walk into a bar. But for legal reasons, we cannot finish this joke.....

Ryan Giggs has gone into hiding. I cant Imogen why

Not the best I know....

P.S. If I was banging a welsh glamour model with cracking tits, I'd be asking people to tell everyone!

[Asdracles]

After his terrible performance yesterday, Fernando Torres decided to commit suicide.

So he did all the preparations properly: He went to buy a gun, he left a letter to the judge and another one to the family, .... But in the final moment, he missed the shot