longstebe wrote:Why change now?
One of the guys had posted something a few months back which I though was brilliant he had mentioned his mother raising 7 or more kids without any help from a maid.
It also goes to show that we take things for granted sometimes.
This is not a personal attack by the way.
Sure, you can have root canal without novocaine too, but why would you.
I am a stay at home mom with two young children. I feel like full time help might be too much, but, since it seems so many people do have them, I wonder how it is to live in Singapore without one. Are babysitters easy to find? Is it possible to have a cleaning service once a month to help me from getting too far behind? I am so accustomed to just bringing my kids with me to run errands, etc. but am realizing that will be a lot harder to do when using public transportation rather than just jumping in our car. I am also not sure about how I feel about someone living in our home, although I suppose we would adapt.
Here are my two cents, and not necessarily the feeling of everyone, believe me. I moved here from the northeast of the US, with three tiny children under 4. I couldn't conceive of having a maid, I was not raised in a family that had help of any kind. But here is what I learned after living here many years ~
In Singapore since private cars are not a given, you can get anything delivered, which is wonderful, but not if there is no one at home to receive the items
Because this is the tropics, certain aspects of a household need much more maintenance than a temperate climate. Towels need to be washed more, ants and other pests are a constant problem so sweeping and mopping happen everyday. Mold and gecko poop on walls needs constant attention, mold on leather shoes or furniture, DVDs, etc... You have to buy food more often as it doesn't keep as long.
In a new environment kids tend to get sick a lot. It makes it so much better if you can take your sick child to the doctor without the healthy ones in tow.
Having a maid means you'll be able to spend quality time with your spouse, which is hugely important here as you adjust to your new life. There's lots of info to exchange in those early months...
Most working spouses travel a great deal while they were here, so often you'll be at home with the kids without a partner.
Sure kids run errands with their parents, but with a maid they don't have to if it's inconvenient. It gives you the option. If one is at home napping/sick/on a playdate you can run out unencumbered in 1/2 the time. Shops don't have a basket of toys in the corner for kids, it's not part of the culture here.
With a maid your kids can participate in a much wider variety of extra curriculars.
Baby-sitters can be hard to find and many of them are other peoples maids and paying them for baby-sitting is, indeed, illegal.
With a maid you can use the time you would normally doing routine housework to:
skype with people at home,
volunteering at their school or else where,
make new friends so they'll have new friends
learn your way around the public transport system
go to your third grocery store in a day looking for ___________.
The truth is, everything you take for granted about your current lifestyle, everything, no matter how simplistic, will take longer to do here until you figure it out. A maid will take the pressure off and give you the luxury of time to do the most important thing you have to do: make friends for yourself. If you don't, you're a goner. Case closed. Also, a good, experienced maid will know how to do things here you don't.
You'll hear all kinds of stories, but the relationship with your maid is your own. Our maids weren't part of the family really, but they were respected, treated well, etc... We raised our kids, not our maids. My kids don't speak tagalog, they don't treat Filipinas badly or like servants, in fact just the opposite. Now in college, they see how rife the US is with racism and they just don't get it. Employing a maid and treating her well and with respect can be a very positive life lesson for them.
Hope this helps, a maid is not a panacea, but there are many valid reasons most people have them here that are hard to anticipate sitting at home in your well-established routine.
Hope this helps~
MHB
I am so accustomed to just bringing my kids with me to run errands, etc. but am realizing that will be a lot harder to do when using public transportation rather than just jumping in our car. I am also not sure about how I feel about someone living in our home, although I suppose we would adapt.
This applies to non Asians of course! All other problems are a fact of life anywhere in the world without a maid, you have to solve the problems of looking after children.
