Dumb $hit (mostly) my friends send me...

[JR8]

William: “Wooh, it’s like you’re a virgin, fantastic.”

[JR8]

Osama's final hours
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cw0AXjAa ... r_embedded

[JR8]

An anagram of Osama Bin Laden is "Lob da man in sea"

[JR8]

[JR8]

'Kate darling, I think there will be time to polish one's helmet later'.

[JR8]

http://www.killsometime.com/videos/7059 ... -On-Guitar

Self-explanatory what it is.

Been buzzing around some big guitar guys I know (world class), and it's getting two thumbs up. Check it out, esp if you are into trance vibes or guitar.

[JR8]

In my corner shop last night, standing in front of the beer section:

Woman: Entschuldigen Sie, wollen Sie vielleicht wissen, welche dieser Biere ist gut?*
Me: Sprechen sie Englisch [do you speak English?]
Woman: Yes.
...
...
[pregnant pause]
...
...
[Me smiling and kinda nodding encouragingly]
...
...
Me: Ok, are you going to ask me that in English then?





* 'Excuse me, do you happen to know which of these beers is good?

[JR8]

Reminds me of going to the enquiry counter at a big station nearby recently to check out train-times...

Me: Do you have a timetable for the airport train?
Woman: Yes.
...
...
[me wondering why she isn't giving me one, since they're stacked up beside her]
...
...
Me: Er, can I have one please then?
Woman: Yes, ok.

Funny lot

[sundaymorningstaple]

I do that all the time. Say yes. Simple answer to a simple question. Do you speak English?

[JR8]

I do that all the time. Say yes. Simple answer to a simple question. Do you speak English?

Reminds me of living in NYC. If you were in a corner shop people would just walk in and demand 'Gimme a pack of Malboro' or similar.

Gets the job done, but sounds more like a bank robbery to polite British ears

[JR8]

I do that all the time. Say yes. Simple answer to a simple question. Do you speak English?

Maybe when the German woman asked if I knew about the beers I should have simply replied 'Yes I do', after all that was her question.

[JR8]

Kate’s wedding shoes were tight. In the bedroom Wills helped them off. The family heard grunting, straining, and Wills say, “That was tight.”

[JR8]

Mate of mine waterskiing behind British Navy frigate HMS Broadsword. (The big RIB in the background is scooting off to pick up the other skier who'd just gone down).

Pretty dudetastic

[JR8]

Joey Ramone was taller than Michael Jordan is.


JR8
(Sitting here in my Ramones t-shirt comme d'habitude)

Edit to add:

Sorry tried to shrink it down to a smaller pic, but it ain't happening! Guess you're going to have to experience your faithful correspondent full size!

[JR8]

You might have gathered I'm pretty into music.

A friend posted me a Youtube video this week that has blown me away so I thought I should share it. It's by the band Funkadelic and must be c.1975. For me I only knew them for their EPIC funk tracks (One Nation etc), so this came as a real shocker. When I say EPIC, I mean I have One Nation Under a Groove and the one song takes up a whole double album

This is totally different, it is guitar rock built around the classic four chord riff. Kinda like 'Shine on you crazy diamond' meets John Lee Hooker. Plus it's short, for them, only 10 minutes

What a beautiful thing!...

Maggot Brain - Funkadelic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Inr22ZBmdw
[Wind through the first 30 second concept-track spiel if that ain't your kinda thing]