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Singapore Expat Forum and Message Board for Expats in Singapore & Expatriates Relocating to Singapore
Dumb $hit (mostly) my friends send me...
- sundaymorningstaple
- Moderator
- Posts: 39773
- Joined: Thu, 11 Nov 2004 1:26 pm
- Location: Retired on the Little Red Dot
I did something like that back in '83 where Kampong Java & Thompson road split. That's what happens when you spend most of you life driving on the other side of the road. My wife would always tell me to keep left to go out Thompson Road to go home, but that night she was in KK hospital after having given birth to my firstborn. After getting back from Medan after the birth, and sitting with her for a day, she told me to go out and celebrate with the guys (meaning Peyton Place where she sang - was a country western joint back in those days) I did, and in the early hours of the morning was heading out and forgot to bear left. Remembered at the last minute but wasn't quick enough. Or, should I just say I was sh*tfaced! Didn't make it and straddled the divider curbing perfectly. Unfortunately, unlike the picture you have posted, the curb was higher than front of my chassis of me old Cortina estate wagon. I shorted it wheelbase by almost 18 inches!
Worse part was, I wasn't hurt, but bloody well inebriated, early on a Sunday morning (around 3:30~4:00am. I sat on the bonnet for 1.5 hours in the middle of a five way intersection waiting for a patrolman. None appeared. So, I walked the two blocks to KK hospital, called the police, chewed on the dispatcher a bit and she then asked me where I was calling from. I told her KK hospital. "Oh! Are you hurt?" "No", says I, "If I had been hurt I would have bled to death waiting for a patrolman to pass by after leaving they finally decided to leave the kopitiam. Additionally, now that I've had to walk two blocks to find a phone, by the time I get back there will probably be several patrolmen there and I'll get arrested for leaving the scene of an accident!"
Needless to say, when I got back, there were already two policemen there, but boy were they nice! (Even in my state - but for two hours I'd been chewing the sh*t out of King Edward Cigars (still had about a quarter of a box left after the celebrations). They didn't question me or anything. In fact, when they were ready to go off shift, we were still waiting for a wrecker. They were replaced by two more who waited till the wrecker was sorted and even gave me a ride all the way out to Seletar Camp where I lived. Boy did somebody drop the ball that morning. No charges were ever pressed or tickets issued.
Worse part was, I wasn't hurt, but bloody well inebriated, early on a Sunday morning (around 3:30~4:00am. I sat on the bonnet for 1.5 hours in the middle of a five way intersection waiting for a patrolman. None appeared. So, I walked the two blocks to KK hospital, called the police, chewed on the dispatcher a bit and she then asked me where I was calling from. I told her KK hospital. "Oh! Are you hurt?" "No", says I, "If I had been hurt I would have bled to death waiting for a patrolman to pass by after leaving they finally decided to leave the kopitiam. Additionally, now that I've had to walk two blocks to find a phone, by the time I get back there will probably be several patrolmen there and I'll get arrested for leaving the scene of an accident!"
Needless to say, when I got back, there were already two policemen there, but boy were they nice! (Even in my state - but for two hours I'd been chewing the sh*t out of King Edward Cigars (still had about a quarter of a box left after the celebrations). They didn't question me or anything. In fact, when they were ready to go off shift, we were still waiting for a wrecker. They were replaced by two more who waited till the wrecker was sorted and even gave me a ride all the way out to Seletar Camp where I lived. Boy did somebody drop the ball that morning. No charges were ever pressed or tickets issued.

Last edited by sundaymorningstaple on Mon, 23 Apr 2012 9:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers
You'll find the above, plus another 4 pix of the scene in Clementi here... scroll to about half-way down the page.alvkard wrote:How did that happen, lol
http://forums.hardwarezone.com.sg/cars- ... 8-153.html
Wasn't sure where else to post this...
Shpooky eh?
-----------------------------------
'China’s property boom has peaked, forever
Land sales make up 30pc of total tax revenue for the central government and 70pc for local government....
Construction makes up 10pc of total jobs, and a further 20pc indirectly in cement, steel, metallurgy etc. The government is building 36m homes for the poor, but that will start to run down in two years or so.
Residential investment typically peaks at 8pc to 9pc of GDP for emerging nations during their catch-up growth spurts. It is already 12pc in China.
Japan’s ratio peaked in 1973, long before the property price bubble burst. China has almost certainly peaked too on this crucial measure.
...
Meanwhile, the demographic crunch hit last year. China’s dependency ratio – ie children plus elderly in proportion to those of working age – touched bottom at 28pc and has now begun a relentless climb that will get worse every year for decades.
---------------------
Shpooky eh?
-----------------------------------
'China’s property boom has peaked, forever
Land sales make up 30pc of total tax revenue for the central government and 70pc for local government....
Construction makes up 10pc of total jobs, and a further 20pc indirectly in cement, steel, metallurgy etc. The government is building 36m homes for the poor, but that will start to run down in two years or so.
Residential investment typically peaks at 8pc to 9pc of GDP for emerging nations during their catch-up growth spurts. It is already 12pc in China.
Japan’s ratio peaked in 1973, long before the property price bubble burst. China has almost certainly peaked too on this crucial measure.
...
Meanwhile, the demographic crunch hit last year. China’s dependency ratio – ie children plus elderly in proportion to those of working age – touched bottom at 28pc and has now begun a relentless climb that will get worse every year for decades.
---------------------
One for SMS and vintage car (restoration) fans...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... 0-000.html
'World's oldest unrestored Mini found covered in dust and chicken feathers sells for £40,000 (that's 8,000 times more than it was bought for in 1959)'
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... 0-000.html
'World's oldest unrestored Mini found covered in dust and chicken feathers sells for £40,000 (that's 8,000 times more than it was bought for in 1959)'
- sundaymorningstaple
- Moderator
- Posts: 39773
- Joined: Thu, 11 Nov 2004 1:26 pm
- Location: Retired on the Little Red Dot
Nice! Thanks.JR8 wrote:One for SMS and vintage car (restoration) fans...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... 0-000.html
'World's oldest unrestored Mini found covered in dust and chicken feathers sells for £40,000 (that's 8,000 times more than it was bought for in 1959)'

SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers
- nakatago
- Moderator
- Posts: 8358
- Joined: Tue, 01 Sep 2009 11:23 pm
- Location: Sister Margaret’s School for Wayward Children
Call center--I'm sorry; "Business Process Outsourcing" is one of our fine exports which include domestic help, show bands, nurses and seafaring laborers.JR8 wrote:Just an observation:
Got a new credit card today (hooray, took 6 months!). Had to speak to them twice, and [surprise] the calls are routed to the Peens!
What a blessing, I can understand the people I'm speaking to! (unlike most of the usual offshoring centres).
"A quokka is what would happen if there was an anime about kangaroos."
----------------------
'UK Border Agency asks illegal immigrants ‘not to wear sports kit’ during Olympics
The UK Border Agency (UKBA) has given assurances that it is ‘completely ready’ to deal with the influx of foreigners during the Olympics, as long as illegal immigrants agree not to wear sports kit over the summer.
‘We have in place a very robust identity verification system at the UK border,’ said Agency chief operating officer David Wood. ‘But during the Olympics this system could become confused if ordinary illegal immigrants were to wear sports clothing, since we might think they were Olympic athletes and wave them through. And by ‘wave them through’ I mean make them queue for up to eight hours at Heathrow.’
UKBA has issued an official ‘polite request’ to illegal immigrants to address the problem. ‘During the Olympic Games, we understand that very many foreigners will be wearing short trousers, t-shirts and in some cases lycra,’ the warning says. ‘Since we will be letting these athletes into the country with no questions asked and sending them off to have two weeks of unbridled sex in the Olympic village, we do ask that if you are here illegally you wouldn’t mind awfully not wearing those sorts of clothes in case we fail to apprehend you in Customs and let you in instead.’
The agency has recommended an array of alternative outfits that it advises illegal immigrants to wear. ‘These include grubby jackets that smell of axle grease, those sort of long Arab kaftans that cover you up completely, jilbabs, niqabs, hijabs, and prosthetic hooks where your hand ought to be.’ Any of these options will make identification and processing much quicker, reducing deportation times to as little as 28 to 36 months, the agency said.
Home Secretary Theresa May was unavailable for comment, having turned up for interview yesterday after a diary muddle.'
----------------------
http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2012/05/03/u ... -olympics/
'UK Border Agency asks illegal immigrants ‘not to wear sports kit’ during Olympics
The UK Border Agency (UKBA) has given assurances that it is ‘completely ready’ to deal with the influx of foreigners during the Olympics, as long as illegal immigrants agree not to wear sports kit over the summer.
‘We have in place a very robust identity verification system at the UK border,’ said Agency chief operating officer David Wood. ‘But during the Olympics this system could become confused if ordinary illegal immigrants were to wear sports clothing, since we might think they were Olympic athletes and wave them through. And by ‘wave them through’ I mean make them queue for up to eight hours at Heathrow.’
UKBA has issued an official ‘polite request’ to illegal immigrants to address the problem. ‘During the Olympic Games, we understand that very many foreigners will be wearing short trousers, t-shirts and in some cases lycra,’ the warning says. ‘Since we will be letting these athletes into the country with no questions asked and sending them off to have two weeks of unbridled sex in the Olympic village, we do ask that if you are here illegally you wouldn’t mind awfully not wearing those sorts of clothes in case we fail to apprehend you in Customs and let you in instead.’
The agency has recommended an array of alternative outfits that it advises illegal immigrants to wear. ‘These include grubby jackets that smell of axle grease, those sort of long Arab kaftans that cover you up completely, jilbabs, niqabs, hijabs, and prosthetic hooks where your hand ought to be.’ Any of these options will make identification and processing much quicker, reducing deportation times to as little as 28 to 36 months, the agency said.
Home Secretary Theresa May was unavailable for comment, having turned up for interview yesterday after a diary muddle.'
----------------------
http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2012/05/03/u ... -olympics/
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