Joke

[Strong Eagle]

Two rooftop antennas met and fell in love. When they were married the wedding itself wasn't much but the reception was great.

[ksl]

Two rooftop antennas met and fell in love. When they were married the wedding itself wasn't much but the reception was great.

You must be bored at work !

[Edenpod]

Warning, 18+ joke. If such isn't allowed, then I'll just edit my post.

A guy walk into a bar with a smile on his face, the bartender asks,

"You look happy today."
"Yeah. I found a girl tied to a rail road track, naked. So I ran over and untied her. Then we had the BEST sex ever. We did EVERY position that ever existed. Except a blowjob though."
"How come?"
"I couldn't find her head."

[JR8]

A women goes to a doctor because she has a bad back. He says 'It is due to old age'. She says 'I want a second opinion'. Ok he says 'You're ugly too'.

[JR8]

A guy runs into the doctors and says 'Doctor, I get 1 inch shorter every day'. The doctor replies 'You'll have to be a little patient'

[JR8]

A guy takes his dog to the vet cos it's a bit sick, and when the vet examines it he tells the bloke that his dog is dead, the guy is not happy with the diagnosis and asks for more tests. The vet opens a box and takes out a Blue Persian, holds it over the table and moves it from the dog's head to tail, the persian shakes it's head, the vet says, definitely dead. The guy is still not convinced so the vet whistles and a black labrador comes into the surgery, looks at the dog on the table, shakes it's head and walks back out. The vet confirms that the man's dog has died. The guy is now convinced so he says he wants his bill. The vet makes up his bill and the guy screams 'WHAT!! £610.00, six hundred and ten pounds, you've got to be joking me, all that money just to tell me my dog was dead..The vet says, it would have beem just £10, but it's £400 for the cat scan, and another £200 for the Lab Report. .

[tothebeach]

Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.

The first guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."

The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."

They then asked the woman, "What are you?"

She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, freak, Etc."

[tothebeach]

What is the difference between friends and bestfriends?

When you are in hospital, friends ask: "How are you?"

Bestfriends ask: "Hey brother, how is the nurse?"

[tothebeach]

Little Johnny wrote: "Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother!"

Santa wrote back: "Send me your mother ..."

[Ratpick_2000]

A guy takes his dog to the vet cos it's a bit sick, and when the vet examines it he tells the bloke that his dog is dead, the guy is not happy with the diagnosis and asks for more tests. The vet opens a box and takes out a Blue Persian, holds it over the table and moves it from the dog's head to tail, the persian shakes it's head, the vet says, definitely dead. The guy is still not convinced so the vet whistles and a black labrador comes into the surgery, looks at the dog on the table, shakes it's head and walks back out. The vet confirms that the man's dog has died. The guy is now convinced so he says he wants his bill. The vet makes up his bill and the guy screams 'WHAT!! £610.00, six hundred and ten pounds, you've got to be joking me, all that money just to tell me my dog was dead..The vet says, it would have beem just £10, but it's £400 for the cat scan, and another £200 for the Lab Report. .

[Ratpick_2000]

What key opens any door?



A Pikey

[wasssaaabiii]

Why do farts smell?



For the benefit of the deaf.

[Flipside]

Two rooftop antennas met and fell in love. When they were married the wedding itself wasn't much but the reception was great.

hahaha thats kinda lame but oh well, a joke is a joke. you poor bored person hahaha

[Okboy]

A financial joke from BBC.
What is the best way to rob a bank?
To own one.

[boffenl]

What did the grape say when it got stepped on?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Slow day for a Monday.