Joke

Post by **Strong Eagle** » Sat, 05 Mar 2011 1:28 pm

Two rooftop antennas met and fell in love. When they were married the wedding itself wasn't much but the reception was great.

ksl · Post by **ksl** » Sat, 05 Mar 2011 2:06 pm

Strong Eagle wrote:Two rooftop antennas met and fell in love. When they were married the wedding itself wasn't much but the reception was great.

You must be bored at work !

Edenpod · Post by **Edenpod** » Fri, 11 Mar 2011 5:44 pm

Warning, 18+ joke. If such isn't allowed, then I'll just edit my post.

A guy walk into a bar with a smile on his face, the bartender asks,

"You look happy today."
"Yeah. I found a girl tied to a rail road track, naked. So I ran over and untied her. Then we had the BEST sex ever. We did EVERY position that ever existed. Except a blowjob though."
"How come?"
"I couldn't find her head."

JR8 · Post by **JR8** » Fri, 11 Mar 2011 5:48 pm

A women goes to a doctor because she has a bad back. He says 'It is due to old age'. She says 'I want a second opinion'. Ok he says 'You're ugly too'.

JR8 · Post by **JR8** » Fri, 11 Mar 2011 5:51 pm

A guy runs into the doctors and says 'Doctor, I get 1 inch shorter every day'. The doctor replies 'You'll have to be a little patient'

JR8 · Post by **JR8** » Fri, 11 Mar 2011 5:56 pm

A guy takes his dog to the vet cos it's a bit sick, and when the vet examines it he tells the bloke that his dog is dead, the guy is not happy with the diagnosis and asks for more tests. The vet opens a box and takes out a Blue Persian, holds it over the table and moves it from the dog's head to tail, the persian shakes it's head, the vet says, definitely dead. The guy is still not convinced so the vet whistles and a black labrador comes into the surgery, looks at the dog on the table, shakes it's head and walks back out. The vet confirms that the man's dog has died. The guy is now convinced so he says he wants his bill. The vet makes up his bill and the guy screams 'WHAT!! £610.00, six hundred and ten pounds, you've got to be joking me, all that money just to tell me my dog was dead..The vet says, it would have beem just £10, but it's £400 for the cat scan, and another £200 for the Lab Report. .

tothebeach · Post by **tothebeach** » Sat, 19 Mar 2011 3:08 pm

Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.

The first guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."

The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."

They then asked the woman, "What are you?"

She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, freak, Etc."

tothebeach · Post by **tothebeach** » Sat, 19 Mar 2011 3:11 pm

What is the difference between friends and bestfriends?

When you are in hospital, friends ask: "How are you?"

Bestfriends ask: "Hey brother, how is the nurse?"

tothebeach · Post by **tothebeach** » Mon, 21 Mar 2011 11:46 am

Little Johnny wrote: "Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother!"

Santa wrote back: "Send me your mother ..."

Ratpick_2000 · Post by **Ratpick_2000** » Mon, 21 Mar 2011 12:19 pm

JR8 wrote:A guy takes his dog to the vet cos it's a bit sick, and when the vet examines it he tells the bloke that his dog is dead, the guy is not happy with the diagnosis and asks for more tests. The vet opens a box and takes out a Blue Persian, holds it over the table and moves it from the dog's head to tail, the persian shakes it's head, the vet says, definitely dead. The guy is still not convinced so the vet whistles and a black labrador comes into the surgery, looks at the dog on the table, shakes it's head and walks back out. The vet confirms that the man's dog has died. The guy is now convinced so he says he wants his bill. The vet makes up his bill and the guy screams 'WHAT!! £610.00, six hundred and ten pounds, you've got to be joking me, all that money just to tell me my dog was dead..The vet says, it would have beem just £10, but it's £400 for the cat scan, and another £200 for the Lab Report. .

Ratpick_2000 · Post by **Ratpick_2000** » Mon, 21 Mar 2011 12:20 pm

What key opens any door?

A Pikey

wasssaaabiii · Post by **wasssaaabiii** » Fri, 25 Mar 2011 1:06 pm

Why do farts smell?

For the benefit of the deaf.

Flipside · Post by **Flipside** » Mon, 30 May 2011 4:20 pm

Strong Eagle wrote:Two rooftop antennas met and fell in love. When they were married the wedding itself wasn't much but the reception was great.

hahaha thats kinda lame but oh well, a joke is a joke. you poor bored person hahaha

Okboy · Post by **Okboy** » Sat, 09 Jul 2011 5:57 pm

A financial joke from BBC.
What is the best way to rob a bank?
To own one.

boffenl · Post by **boffenl** » Mon, 18 Jul 2011 3:24 pm

What did the grape say when it got stepped on?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Slow day for a Monday.

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