How much should one give in a Wedding Hong Bao?

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Strong Eagle
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Post by Strong Eagle » Fri, 17 Dec 2010 10:04 am

Amazing, isn't it... a thread that started out with a question as to how much to give at a wedding has morphed into this?
JR8 wrote:Nice try.

Farming and slaughthouse practises are regulated to what are generally accepted standards. If cruelty sometimes occurs, which I accept it does, that is humans erring, and not a part of the intended cycle of production.

A lot of shark fishing is illegal, the fishermen don't care for welfare one iota.

Do you supoort such blatant cruelty to provide a foostuff of zero nutritional value?

p.s. Anyone who does not like the ethics of intensively raised meat is at liberty to buy free range products. How many people do you know that exercise that choice?

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Post by longstebe » Fri, 17 Dec 2010 11:46 am

^^^^^^
Thats the beauty about forums.
Keeps it interesting.

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Wind In My Hair
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Post by Wind In My Hair » Fri, 17 Dec 2010 2:09 pm

SE, if you think this thread is meandering, you should see the conversations that take place at a wedding dinner. (There, aren't I a good girl to bring the topic back on track?)
JR8 wrote:Anyone who does not like the ethics of intensively raised meat is at liberty to buy free range products. How many people do you know that exercise that choice?
Some choose not to eat meat altogether. Increasingly I find myself making this choice. You probably don't, so maybe I should return the favour and start preaching to you instead :wink:

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Post by sundaymorningstaple » Fri, 17 Dec 2010 2:35 pm

No wonder the fertility rate is so low here! :-|
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers

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Post by x9200 » Fri, 17 Dec 2010 3:25 pm

Strong Eagle wrote:Amazing, isn't it... a thread that started out with a question as to how much to give at a wedding has morphed into this?
looks like one step away from the Godwin's law to be fulfilled

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Muslima70
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Post by Muslima70 » Fri, 17 Dec 2010 4:27 pm

hi, ok maybe I can share some tips and ideas about angpow culture or hongboa culture in Singapore...

BUT pls do not read if you do not like stories which start with once a upon a time...

Mind you: my opinions are based on what relatives and parents and friends have told me about how this tradition started... and yes I am one of those weird people who actually will seat down and chat with old folks and ask them about singapore traditions...

Once upon a time...most singaporeans lived in a "kampung" (village).

Anyways when there is wedding, Singapore culture dictates that one invites just about everybody in the village..if don't invite that person, it in fact considered offensive to the relative/friend/neighbour/colleague.

Being invited to a wedding is considered an honour and very good manners...pple are not invited for one or any of the following reasons (a) if the guest list is too big ( but never considered good excuse) (b) the wedding couple does not like you ( c) the bride or grooms family does not like you (c) the family is too stingy and do not want to feed you (d) you are not important or you are invisible or nobody know you exists.

So my point is that, most of the time inviting everybody you know to a wedding is must. Most singaporeans does not matter malay, indian, chinese, eurasion etc..will try to avoid offending their relatives, friends and colleagues and neighbours. so if they get married they have to invite via a personal visit to the house or with a card, even if no card, they will send email or call or SMS. It is like a GOLDEN rule. Older generation of SG tend to get very offended if you do not invite them to your wedding.
Anyway this is related to the fact that when singaporeans lived in village, everybody knows everybody..so you have to invite the "whole village' get it??

Weirdly enough even tho most of singaporeans today are hatched at hospitals and raised in highly dangerous buildings (HDB flats), somehow we still retain some village traditions.

And also long time ago, most singaporeans not rich, so the whole village will pitch in to help the wedding couple..with manual labour, money and other gifts...Over the years this has evolved to mostly money gifts. The monies given are to help defray the wedding costs and to give the new couple some help in starting their new life.

To a certain extent the ang pow amount does vary with the location of the wedding feast. HDB flats? Maybe only $20- $50. Hotel or country club? Maybe $80 - $200 or more. Also depends on your relationship to bride / groom and their family. Usually if quite close to the person you give more. And if you are person who with good income, it is good manners to be generous. So if you are a CEO of a company , and your PA is getting married and reception is at HDB flat, you can give $50 that will be average. but if you give $100 or more will be deemed good manner cos you are more generous.

Also another thing is that the older Sg generation will usually insist to give token when you leave the wedding. to say thank you for being kind eough to come to my daughter/son's wedding day. Token can be chocolate/ egg/ a piece of soap/ any souvenir. I dont why. Nowadays younger SG generation still practice but I dont know if this will continue in the future or not.

Ok I hope that clear the air about wedding ang pows...
Salam(peace be with you)

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Post by Muslima70 » Fri, 17 Dec 2010 4:33 pm

oh and I forget to add, some chinese have thing for the number 8, as most of you know... ang pws are for wedding seem need a number 8 in them if possible like $80, or $108 or $180...or any other even numbers..odd numbers bad luck for the wedding couple.

But depends: now most chinese singaporeans very modern..as long they getthe ang pow money ok-lah. Maybe some of them don't care about the number 8..at least that is what some of my friends tell me.
Salam(peace be with you)

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Post by nakatago » Fri, 17 Dec 2010 4:56 pm

x9200 wrote:
Strong Eagle wrote:Amazing, isn't it... a thread that started out with a question as to how much to give at a wedding has morphed into this?
looks like one step away from the Godwin's law to be fulfilled
oh don't such a Nazi... :P
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Post by JR8 » Fri, 17 Dec 2010 7:34 pm

Muslima70 wrote:oh and I forget to add, some chinese have thing for the number 8, as most of you know... ang pws are for wedding seem need a number 8 in them if possible like $80, or $108 or $180...or any other even numbers..odd numbers bad luck for the wedding couple.

But depends: now most chinese singaporeans very modern..as long they getthe ang pow money ok-lah. Maybe some of them don't care about the number 8..at least that is what some of my friends tell me.
Very interesting. So the long wedding invite lists are an (another) aspect of village/peasant culture that still endures. It makes sense when explained in this way.

WIMH: 'Increasingly I find myself making this choice. You probably don't'. Not answering the question but making snarky personal assumptions instead? I'll make an assumption then, that you concede I make a valid point about the pointless cruelty of shark's fin :)

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Post by Wind In My Hair » Sat, 18 Dec 2010 12:59 am

JR8 wrote:WIMH: 'Increasingly I find myself making this choice. You probably don't'. Not answering the question but making snarky personal assumptions instead? I'll make an assumption then, that you concede I make a valid point about the pointless cruelty of shark's fin :)
I already agreed that it's cruel to kill sharks for their fins. It wasn't a snarky personal assumption, just a logical mathematical guess. Statistically vegetarians are a small minority and chances are you don't belong to this minority, that's all. That's the meaning of "probably".

My point was that some vegetarians make their meat-eating friends feel bad for creating demand for the poor tortured farm animals, while others live and let live. I was just wondering how you would feel to be on the receiving end instead. IF you eat meat, of course. Which you PROBABLY do.

:wink:

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Post by JR8 » Sat, 18 Dec 2010 6:12 am

Wind In My Hair wrote:
JR8 wrote:WIMH: 'Increasingly I find myself making this choice. You probably don't'. Not answering the question but making snarky personal assumptions instead? I'll make an assumption then, that you concede I make a valid point about the pointless cruelty of shark's fin :)
I already agreed that it's cruel to kill sharks for their fins. It wasn't a snarky personal assumption, just a logical mathematical guess. Statistically vegetarians are a small minority and chances are you don't belong to this minority, that's all. That's the meaning of "probably".

My point was that some vegetarians make their meat-eating friends feel bad for creating demand for the poor tortured farm animals, while others live and let live. I was just wondering how you would feel to be on the receiving end instead. IF you eat meat, of course. Which you PROBABLY do.

:wink:
Oh ok. Well the 'Yes abc is bad, but the xyz that you do is just as bad' is a tired old method of discussion. Yes I've had veggies try and give me the guilt trip, but it doesn't work as I grew up in the country, so am pretty schooled in the nuts and bolts of food production already. (Vegetarianism appears to me to be more of an urban trait. Funny that isn't it?)

Before we go meandering off into 'Is meat murder?', an important point I was trying to get across (and did make a couple of times) was that shark fin has no nutritional value, and neither does it have any flavour, eating it is entirely discretionary. Farmed animals are an important part of a balanced diet for a very large proportion of the world's population (essentially those who can afford to buy it). It is far from discretionary consumption, one might argue almost compulsory.

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Post by longstebe » Sat, 18 Dec 2010 10:26 am

Oooooooo nothing beats a good bacon sarnie with a touch of HP brown sauce.

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Post by x9200 » Sat, 18 Dec 2010 10:27 am

JR8 wrote:Before we go meandering off into 'Is meat murder?', an important point I was trying to get across (and did make a couple of times) was that shark fin has no nutritional value, and neither does it have any flavour, eating it is entirely discretionary.
I don't want to escalate this discussion too much but lots of food is eaten not for nutritional value - all the mushrooms for example. The second point and genuine question: I had shark fin soup a number of times and it always was of a very distinctive flavour. If this is not because of the fin then what?

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Post by Wind In My Hair » Sat, 18 Dec 2010 10:55 am

JR8 wrote:Oh ok. Well the 'Yes abc is bad, but the xyz that you do is just as bad' is a tired old method of discussion.
It's about greenhouses and stones...
JR8 wrote:Yes I've had veggies try and give me the guilt trip, but it doesn't work as I grew up in the country, so am pretty schooled in the nuts and bolts of food production already. (Vegetarianism appears to me to be more of an urban trait. Funny that isn't it?
Do you realise your argument holds just as well for what you're arguing against? Try this for size:

Yes I've had anti-finners try and give me the guilt trip, but it doesn't work as I grew up in the Chinese culture, so am pretty schooled in the nuts and bolts of sharks fin already. (Anti-finning appears to me to be more of a non-Chinese trait. Funny that isn't it?

I'm not disagreeing with you, by the way; just that I don't see how this type of argument can convince someone not already on your side (which I kinda am).

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Post by ksl » Sat, 18 Dec 2010 3:26 pm

x9200 wrote:
JR8 wrote:Before we go meandering off into 'Is meat murder?', an important point I was trying to get across (and did make a couple of times) was that shark fin has no nutritional value, and neither does it have any flavour, eating it is entirely discretionary.
I don't want to escalate this discussion too much but lots of food is eaten not for nutritional value - all the mushrooms for example. The second point and genuine question: I had shark fin soup a number of times and it always was of a very distinctive flavour. If this is not because of the fin then what?
I think JR8 and many more people are more against the cruelty of cutting off the fins, and throwing the shark overboard, with no way of protecting itself as they are disabled, hence the protection of sharks in some Asian waters, enjoy your shark fin next time and give some thought to the shark itself. :wink: I mean i love shark fin soup, until I saw what was going on, when they caught them, slicing the fins off and throwing them overboard.

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