Top 10 hilarious quotes

[SmartDude]

1- Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

2- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

3- There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.

4- An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

5- Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

6- When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.

7- Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

For some more is the link below i found via google.
hilarious quotes

[merichan]

especially like number 5 loooool

[x9200]

For that, I like this one more:
Never argue with fools. They will drag you down to their level an then beat you with experience.

[carteki]

Great start to a Monday morning.
My recent fav is "If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?"

[JaanJ]

No. 10 puts a smile on my face on a Monday morning...nice

[nakatago]

A personal favorite, Mitch Hedberg. May he rest in peace: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Mitch_Hedberg

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
I went to a record store, they said they specialized in hard-to-find records. NOTHING WAS ALPHABETIZED!

[wasssaaabiii]

Yeah... he's the best



I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt."

Whenever I walk somewhere, and someone hands me a flyer, it's like they're telling me, "Here, you go throw this away."

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy all day.

I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2,000 of something.

Dogs are forever in the push-up position.

[nakatago]

Yeah... he's the best



I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt."

Whenever I walk somewhere, and someone hands me a flyer, it's like they're telling me, "Here, you go throw this away."

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy all day.

I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2,000 of something.

Dogs are forever in the push-up position.

Alright! High five there. Unless you got no hands...

[wasssaaabiii]

[ecureilx]

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. There is not one shred of evidence to support the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

[ecureilx]

1.. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
2. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
3. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
4. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
5. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
6. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
7. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
8. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
9. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
10. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
11. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
12. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
13. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never run out of material.

[jackdi]

First post #5 ! I like it!

[anneteoh]

Pure joy Smart Dude, Ecureilx and all you happy new year guys. Thanks - I think I've lost my sense of humour!

[mspiggie]

LOL I love this thread!!!

[cleene]

nice thread, a very good start for a day....