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Looking for uhmm.. I'm not really sure.

Events and gatherings for the 20's Club
twinsing
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Looking for uhmm.. I'm not really sure.

Postby twinsing » Sat, 20 Nov 2010 3:27 pm

Okay. I don't want to start with 'Life is short, so lets have a beer' or some such platitude. But to be honest, there is really no good way to start to say this without sounding yuppy-in-quarter-life-crisis like.

You know you reach a point in your life: when you feel like you're doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results? or when you feel like meeting new people is exhausting rather than exciting because you're tired of the small talk but the not-so-new people aren't exactly the ones that keep you inspired?

Okay, if you don't know what I'm talking about, clearly you're in a better place than I am. Now this is my state of mind, or it has been strikingly so for the past few months.

I found it far easier to meet and talk to people that I truly was interested in knowing when I was back in University. Somehow the 9-6 routine does manage to take away the excitement of making some real friends, one with which you don't have to be superficial with.

So anyway, rant aside, I don't know what I expect from this, definitely NOT drinks with 20 people with whom I have to have small talk with. Just some inspiring conversations, some new ideas, some inspiring people, I guess. Is there anybody like this out there? You can PM me, or write here or NOT or use this space to rant about your own crisis as well:)

Oh P.S. I'm not sure if it REALLY matters, but I am 24, Female and I've lived here long enough to have run into you before, I guess.

Scott_Rathie
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Postby Scott_Rathie » Sat, 20 Nov 2010 6:49 pm

Hi,
I had a similiar mindset before i left Australia. Coming to singapore 2 months ago changed that and working on the new stadium in singapore is keeping my busy and challenged. If your interested in having a chat message me on rath_86@hotmail.com or add me on FB.

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kotheman
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Postby kotheman » Sat, 20 Nov 2010 7:35 pm

indeed. you are the smart one, know exactly what you want and know what is missing. sadly most of the people not even know that and just pretend like they are enjoying life/following the group.

:shock: :shock: :shock:
My way of looking towards Life is too short to have non meaningful life. MEANINGFUL mean accept the flaws in life, even when I am in the absolute hell/unhappy stage, I am in control of myself emotion/aways try to be happy.

if you (twinsing/Scott) don't mind, perhaps we should meet up for lunch at the country side?

cheers
Ko

myzhelle
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Hey There

Postby myzhelle » Sun, 21 Nov 2010 10:31 pm

i've been a member here for the past few months, tried to checked on it every now and then, read a lot of different posts/messages from different people who are new/not-so-new in singapore hoping to make new friends or meet people to hangout with or something like that, but haven't really posted or said anything until tonight.. so here it goes..

twinsing, i totally agree with you that real friends are hard to find, a hell lot of people can come along but a lot of them can be just superficial, whether we like it or not, or even if we're wishing for something more. sometimes we just try to accept it and 'go with the flow' but eventually we end up back exactly where we started- looking,wanting,hoping to find true friends.. it can be quite exhausting or maybe even frustrating after some time, and a very busy working schedule/not so great working atmosphere is not helping much either. being attractive and successful also doesn't guarantee that you'll be exempted from this dilemma. and we really don't know what we can find here, but maybe it's worth a try. it woudn't hurt to be optimistic, i guess. (",) i think it would be nice if we can have a chat/nice conversation sometime. pls. do let me know.

And for those of you guys out there who managed to read my post and didn't find it too cheesy or didn't think i'm some kind of lunatic or something, it would be really nice to hear from you as well. just in case you wanna know, i'm a 28 y/o female who's been working here in singapore for a few years now... have a great nyt.. (",)

Michelle

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AngelJoy
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Postby AngelJoy » Mon, 22 Nov 2010 10:29 am

most of my good friends right now are a bunch of music/art kids who're sort of desperately wanting to get out of the concrete jungle every single day.
we're still young and of coz young at heart and i gotta say it's pretty hard to meet someone like this.
so i feel lucky i got them!
however i feel it's still pretty difficult to meet up real good friends here in Singapore.people are more reserved.maybe it's just me.


life is pretty short so hurry up be yourself and do something that you love the most and fxxx the rest :D

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QRM
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Postby QRM » Mon, 22 Nov 2010 12:53 pm

Funny what is your definition of "real friends'? I can tell you one thing if you go out looking for a real friend you will never find it. Your concept of "Real friend" today may be very different in a weeks time.

Its like "Respect" people who demand respect rarely get it. Real friends and respect cannot be bought, demanded, or hunted down.

The best friend you can ever have is yourself, once you are happy with yourself you wont be too upset when other people come and go.

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nakatago
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Postby nakatago » Mon, 22 Nov 2010 1:40 pm

@QRM: Chalk it up to quarter life crisis. Remember when macaroonie when through a similar thing not a long while ago?

I guess it will happen if you live in a country when they have a word for people afraid of losing out, where expats are either there on assignment, looking for greener pastures or want a change of environment, in a corporate culture known for the rat race.

You go life through that, you tend to miss out certain things in life. And you usually don't realize it but when you do, it triggers a panic attack in varying degrees of severity from person to person.

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Postby Meow81 » Mon, 22 Nov 2010 2:23 pm

nakatago wrote:@QRM: Chalk it up to quarter life crisis. Remember when macaroonie when through a similar thing not a long while ago?

I guess it will happen if you live in a country when they have a word for people afraid of losing out, where expats are either there on assignment, looking for greener pastures or want a change of environment, in a corporate culture known for the rat race.

You go life through that, you tend to miss out certain things in life. And you usually don't realize it but when you do, it triggers a panic attack in varying degrees of severity from person to person.


Couldn't agree with you more. Its good to realise early and do something about it. The thing is not many people realise it or they realise it when its too late.

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Postby Raghu-a » Mon, 22 Nov 2010 3:34 pm

Nice post by Twinsing !!

I'd been here in the forum for quite a few days...a few posts..a few replies...many ignored posts...not just in this forum but I tried many other sites to find friends coz I have only one friend in SIngapore who's life is always busy..

Forget being true friends with whom we can have a meaningful conversation, I found it really tough here making people meet up at least.. people are reserved it seems..I have a small group of friends back in India who are very close to me and I used to stick to them instead of being with poeple who are superficial....but at times I feel its our attitude that makes someone a good friend or not..

Recently, the only friend I have in Sg took time off for me to meet up, came over with his family and we had a real good time...then I felt it is better to have a set of friends who you can trust and spend time with rather than trying to bump into a group of people as Twinsing pointed out...I know I've been trying to throw a stone in the dark...nevertheless...why miss a chance to find good people being optimistic as said my Michelle..
:)

twinsing
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Postby twinsing » Mon, 22 Nov 2010 6:19 pm

I would have preferred to send every one of you a private message but the site doesn't permit that until I've made enough responses. So here it goes.

@Michelle- Thanks for the insightful and intelligent response that really hit what I was trying to say :=) I'm not a sad or lunatic or a cheesy person as you put it (that cracked me up, nowadays we have to defend ourselves for needing relationships with depth? Amazing isn't it?). I don't have a problem with drinking or going to a bar. Surely, a drink or two does reveal more of our personality by being a social lubricant that it is. But what I do have a problem with is, people our age have become so addicted to this lifestyle that they have very little genuine interest in knowing another person (unless there are vested interests involved ofcourse;=)). I find it unfulfilling when I go to a “party”

twinsing
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Postby twinsing » Mon, 22 Nov 2010 6:31 pm

@efrew- If you read this, thanks for your PM. I'm unable to respond to you because the site doesn't allow that:) You'll have to PM me your email so I can. Thanks!

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nakatago
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Postby nakatago » Mon, 22 Nov 2010 6:39 pm

may I suggest then the following activities:

1. write a story. preferably, first person perspective in which the character goes to a life-changing journey
2. travel. go somewhere and live there for at least two weeks.
3. if #2 is not feasible, take a long hike/walk and reflect on your life while walking.

Meow81
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Don't worry

Postby Meow81 » Mon, 22 Nov 2010 6:49 pm

Hey hun (twinsing),

You are only 24, don't be so hard on yourself. I've met people who are in their late 30s and not know what they want. Guess some people grow old but never grow up.

Take some time out for yourself. Writing and travelling are some of the best ways...reading helps too :)

If you ever want to hang out, just drop me an email.
You know what they say, once you kill a cow, you got to make a burger.

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AngelJoy
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Postby AngelJoy » Mon, 22 Nov 2010 9:27 pm

nakatago wrote:may I suggest then the following activities:

1. write a story. preferably, first person perspective in which the character goes to a life-changing journey
2. travel. go somewhere and live there for at least two weeks.
3. if #2 is not feasible, take a long hike/walk and reflect on your life while walking.


this is what im always doing.

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AngelJoy
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Postby AngelJoy » Mon, 22 Nov 2010 9:37 pm

[quote="twinsing"]I would have preferred to send every one of you a private message but the site doesn't permit that until I've made enough responses. So here it goes.

@Michelle- Thanks for the insightful and intelligent response that really hit what I was trying to say :=) I'm not a sad or lunatic or a cheesy person as you put it (that cracked me up, nowadays we have to defend ourselves for needing relationships with depth? Amazing isn't it?). I don't have a problem with drinking or going to a bar. Surely, a drink or two does reveal more of our personality by being a social lubricant that it is. But what I do have a problem with is, people our age have become so addicted to this lifestyle that they have very little genuine interest in knowing another person (unless there are vested interests involved ofcourse;=)). I find it unfulfilling when I go to a “party”


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